Larry and I thank the following for their Reviews, Faves or Alerts: Cbarge, Sentinel103, Enterprise-CV6, readerjunkie, Jimmy1201 and flobre. Thanks to all of you.
Next up in our ramble through Unheard Flipper's AU with Kim and Roman is our take on 'Brain Switch'. It's Mission over, and now some mea culpa moments, new information to share and a different take on some key scenes from the episode.
So sit back, enjoy and here comes a short one.
4
Brain Switch Boy
Roman said softly as he and Kim exited the high school, a little after sundown, "You know Kimilla, Eh was very wrong."
Confused, Kim broke from her assigned behavior of checking out the 'hotties who were still in the area', "Wrong about what?"
"Being popular and keeping up your end of the mission."
Then holding up a hand to interrupt his even more confused partner, "Being someone everyone turns to vas more difficult that I first thought."
Now looking admiringly at her, "Your parents must have proud of vou vhen vou vere younger", Roman said before looking down, the fleeting memory of the exhilaration he felt from being in the body of someone who was allowed to use their talents and training to the fullest, overcome by the frustration of being restricted to maintain his persona while inhabiting Kim's body.
While in Kim's body he'd hoped he could 'cut loose' with his training and experience while masquerading as her, but Colonel Barkin put the kibosh on that by ordering him to continue to play the role of the stumbling Stoppable-in-Kim-clothing.
"Mission parameters, Stopblaski.", Barkin said. "Keep the illusion about you going no matter whose body you're in.", rang sharply in Roman's mind.
Kim's reply shook him out of his funk, "I never thought much about it growing up, but yeah, I now can see they were.", she shrugged.
"But now that we're back to normal and the Neutronilizer's been returned to the Government, I feel a lot better about the whole sitch." Stretching, "It's a good thing Private Dobbs was there before the Rent-a-lair blew up or we might still be in each other's bodies."
Thinking back on her time in Roman's body, "I don't see how you do it…bending to the whims of the upper-crust of the food chain, or cowering in front of those D-Hall bullies all the time. Sorta made me want to take a scalp or two.", the red head replied, giving her the opportunity of avoiding explaining to her partner that back when she was in school she wasn't so extroverted, and was a gymnast instead of a cheerleader.
Putting a supportive hand on his shoulder, "I now can see why you're down all the time. One of these days you ought to paint yourself blue and beat the snot out of all of them.", Kim snorted.
"Now that would scare the crap out of 'em, maybe enough to finally leave you alone. Who knows, they might think you'd snapped, and that you were some deranged Scotsman, come to open a bag of freak on them.", she gently squeezed his shoulder. "Or haggis.", they both shuddered.
(What you're dissin' the haggis? Mannnnnn…..I remember the old days munching on haggis sipping on a glass 'o the best and reading 'Tam o' Shanter'.) [The previous insertion in defense of haggis was an unsolicited entry from the co-author of this tale. It is our wish that those of you out there who do not feel like Larry does about haggis do not have the sudden urge to rush to a trash can and hurl. So ends our own little PSA. Thank you and now back to the story. LOL!]
Smiling at Kim's suggestion, of the fun he could have with the sub-humans who stalked the dark halls near Detention Row, he patted her hand.
Then changing the subject, "Vell Lieutenant ve have learned many tings, but deh meh training never prepared meh for living in a woman's body. Eh must say, et was a strange esperience," Then looking to her skirt, "though refreshing in it's own way." Kim chuckled as she realized what he alluded to.
"Yeah but living in a guy's body sorta weirded me out too ya know. I found that you guys don't have it that easy. I mean, your urges are just as strong as mine.", Kim's eyes glazed at the memory.
Whatever Roman said to her in response was blocked out by her musings of the differing urges of the two, to her memories of the short life she lived in Roman's body. How, after having lived in the very capable body of her mission partner for those few days, she could now see the frustration and despair he must feel all the time, with his having to restrain and reign in what he did best for the scope of their mission in Middleton.
She saddened, recalling the comments she made just seconds ago, suggesting he cut loose on the D-Hall bullies, knowing he could never do that; the mission wouldn't allow him to do so. Sadder still, she recalled the immediate brutal 'greeting' she, as 'Ron', received from the D-Haller's, which she quickly learned were part of a normal 'day at the office' for her mission partner at school.
As 'Ron' to their surprise and horror, her reciprocation was not that of the usual cowering blunt-force-trauma-bullseye they were accustomed to beating down every day. Instead what they received for the first time in their 'careers' as high school predators was that of an overwhelming assault they never figured could come from their 'hapless mark'.
Kim's reaction to their attacks on 'Ron', fueled by her own innate 'Kimness' mixed in with a sense of payback, she figured Roman could never dish out as long as they were here at MHS in this mission, lead to one of the most resounding beat downs these bullies ever received in their lives.
In short, Kim schooled the worst predators Middleton High ever had the dishonor to enroll in their educational facility. After word of the demonstration of martial arts prowess she clandestinely performed while in Roman's body made the rounds at school, entire hallways parted like the Red Sea before Moses for a bewildered 'Ron' for a few days afterward. But, as all things do in a fluid environment that was school life, things returned to the status quo after a few days had passed, the event fading away as all things do in a place such as school.
Kim's further musings were interrupted by Roman proudly announcing to her, "Vell meh lettle Kimilla the money that the bullies gave meh back is enough to treat you to a feast at Bueno Nacho. Eh hope vou are ready for a good meal.", He turned his head and winked at her, "And eh will give your idea consideration about my lettle play friends."
"Roma...I mean Ron, you're buying?", the red head gasped as she wondered who switched bodies with him this time.
"Da...yes Eh em. After wearing a dress...", her growl stopped him, making him look at her.
She cut him off, quite annoyed, "That's a skirt Roman, try to remember it."
"Da, da, yes a skirt Eh remember the air flowing around meh legs reminded meh of going swimming at one of the Black Sea resorts with meh Natasha before her father refused to let us see each other anymore."
Stunned, "Natasha? Who's Natasha? You have a woman you never mentioned before?", Kim asked, quite surprised hearing about this woman in Roman's life; and for some reason it bothered her, 'Maybe I can get him to open up for the sake of the mission.'
"Who is Natasha? Kimilla, my beautiful Kimilla Natasha is er was the moter of meh children.", he replied simply.
Gaping, "You're married? You have kids?", Kim's voice rose as she took a good look at him now noting that he looked down as if embarrassed.
"Nyet...no, no Eh have never been married. Her fater refused meh asking for her hand. He said Eh am not good enough for hes baby, dat eh will never be good enough. I still send money for our children…Evin ef Eh am not let to see dem Eh can still help vith Alexander and Vanya.", he replied rubbing a tear from his eyes while he sighed.
She stopped cold at the news "Alexander and Vanya are your kids?", Kim whispered. She could feel the pain in him and something deep inside of her melted just a little.
"D...d...yes yes, dey are.", the blond replied nodding sadly.
"Why are you so far away from them?", the red head inquired softy.
"Because of dis mission, because Eh take the place of meh cousin, Ron, yer old friend.", he informed his startled partner, "Eh em doing meh duty. Barkien know this when he asked me...des way Eh ken make deh world safe for dem."
A hand covering her mouth in shock, "Ron?", Kim whispered lowly, "Ron Stoppable is your cousin?" Tears welling in her eyes.
"Da, Ron Stoppable.", he said. "I am Roman Stopblaski, distant cousin of hes. Tink about it, do you see anything in deh names? Ef you ask Ron's fater. He vill tell you da truth."
Kim took his arm and guided him to a street light to take a real good look at him.
After a few seconds closely inspecting his features, "Oh God…you have Ron's eyes…and ears,", her fingers gently grazing them, "…and his freckles too.", touching them ever so tenderly.
The red head's hand came to her mouth in surprise as she continued to gaze upon the Russian before she engulfed him in a crushing hug, gently sobbing into his chest.
Roman looked down at the young woman, mystified at what had happened. Almost without thinking he kissed her on top of her head and returned the hug holding her for a few minutes while she calmed herself in his arms.
Gently pulling away from him, "You're really something aren't you?", she asked, wiping tears from her eyes.
"Me? Nyet, I em a soldier, nothing more, like meh fater and hes fater.", Roman shrugged.
After composing herself, Kim took Roman's arm and led him off to the Bueno Nacho, "Tonight let's get takeout, I want to tell you about my best friend forever...and your cousin." A sparkle in her eyes, "I think you'd have liked him."
After a few seconds, "And I want to help you with your English. You are still searching for the right words to say, and I think I can help you find them. But first I want to make a deal with you."
"Vat is dat Lieutenant?", Roman asked, not sure where this was going.
"How about you teach me Russian and I teach you English...at least enough so you can sound like an American teen, and I can understand your Mother tongue. Is that OK?", she asked.
"Da that is OK and mech easier than learning Klingon.", he mused to her.
"Roman that's not a real language, it was made up for some movies and a Sci-Fi TV show. At this pronouncement, his eyes opened wide, "Didn't you know that?", Kim asked.
"Nyet...Eh mean, da, of corse Eh knew dat, everyvon knows dat.", he smiled sadly. He tried to hide it, but Kim could tell deep down inside that something that he had believed in was now gone forever.
Soon her expression matched his as she realized that another dwindling piece of his childhood was now gone. Just like so many others that must have vanished.
Then thinking back on her experiences, 'Oh Ronnie why did it come to this. Why did you have to go on that vacation with your parents when we could have hung at my parents'?'
Sucking it back up she took his arm and put it over her shoulder, "Come on Brain Switch Boy, let's go get some food and find a quiet place to talk."
"Da, sounds good to me. Lead on.", said the eager fan of all things BN.
After a few steps, "Oh, and by the way, Roman…Did you behave yourself while you were in my body?", Kim quizzed her partner while he was off balance.
"Eh vas a perfect gentleman, Kimilla. Eh took no liberties while een your body.", Roman assured her.
"Good, for that I am grateful. Thanks Roman.", from the very relieved young woman Marine.
Turning to Kim, "And turnabout is fair play Kimilla..Did you also behave yourself while een my body?", he asked his partner who suddenly stumbled a step.
"Wellllll….", her blush was visible in the early evening darkness.
XXXX
A/N: 'Tam o' Shanter' by Robert Burns was written in 1790, you might want to read this epic poem if you have never done so (I wonder if you can figure out what it means).
Yeah, what Larry said about the epic Scottish tome, but I'm still not a fan of Haggis.
Anyway, the usual disclaimers: Kim Possible, Steve Barkin, Private Cleotus Dobbs and Bueno Nacho are the property of the Disney Empire and their legions of lawyers. We don't make a monetary claim on any of them and are doing this for our enjoyment.
Roman Stopblaski has been created by, and loaned to us by our gracious friend in Kim Possible, Unheard Flipper. Like the above named characters and locale, we're just borrowing them to tell campfire tales to our friends.
