A/N: Tumblr prompt got me to write this one shot... but really, I do go back to work tomorrow, so don't expect regular updates...

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Hmm?"

"About Alex. And my leg."

"Fricking Karev."

"Don't be mad at him."

"He's an idiot. I was trying to protect him, but why did he have to..?

"All this time, you let me hold it against you. Why?"

"I made the call. No matter what it was still me, making the call to take your leg. And I knew you were going to hate me. I didn't want you to hate Alex too. I wanted you to have somebody."

Replaying the conversation in head again, Arizona sits in her car just down the street from their house. She drove over here to confront Callie again, but now she thinks she should wait and talk with her therapist first. Unable to get past the fact that she's been stuck on this and now finds out that it wasn't even true. Callie didn't amputate her leg, Alex did. She can understand Alex being able to do it. But she could never understand how Callie could do it and now it turns out that she didn't.

In Dr Dawson's office the next day, Arizona recounts the exchange again.

"What does it mean to you that Callie authorized Alex to remove your leg instead of her doing it herself?" Dawson asks.

Pausing a moment to collect her thoughts, Arizona begins. "Making the decision to have the leg amputated is one thing, but actually doing it is something else. Do you know what it takes to amputate a leg at the femur? It's not an easy surgery. And to do that to a loved one, even to save their life would still be very difficult emotionally and physically. I just never understood how she could've done that and not been affected. Now I understand, it's because she didn't do it. Now it makes more sense. Everything makes more sense."

"What would have changed, had you known the truth?' Dawson asks.

"I still would have been angry because she promised not to amputate, but I don't think I would have found her actions and demeanor to be so disturbing, if I'd have known that she didn't actually do the surgery." Arizona explains.

"What about Alex? Was she correct in her assumption that you would have hated him for removing your leg?", The therapist asks.

"I-I'm not sure. Alex is Alex. He sees things very black and white. And he wouldn't have made the promise. Callie promised and yes, I know that she promised that as more as my wife than as my doctor. And I don't know what I would have done or said, if she hadn't of made that promise." Arizona says still trying to process. "I would have been angry at him, but I think I would've understood eventually."

"Arizona in the two years that we've been working on this, you've worked past almost everything but this is where you always get stuck. Do you still feel stuck?" Dawson asks.

"I'm stuck now for a totally different reason. Why would she lie about that? I've held it against her this whole time. I've said unforgivable things to her because of it. I don't know how I could ever make it up to her, Dr Dawson." Arizona says tearfully. "There's no apology that could ever be enough to make up for the way I acted and the things that I said. Now I'm angry with her for lying to me. I'm not proud of how I treated her, but what she did to protect me, caused more harm to us than the truth ever could have." The blonde admits sadly, tears still running down her face.

"If you could talk to her about this again, what would you say?" Dawson asks, attempting to get the blonde to move forward.

Considering the question, Arizona grabs a tissue and dabs at her eyes.

"I'm not sure. I think I would let her know that I understand that she was scared, terrified even and she did her best in an unbelievable situation. Obviously, I don't agree with her actions or her decisions, but I also can't imagine being in that situation." The blonde says dabbing her eyes again. "All I know now, is that I need to let it go. And I need to apologize to her, no matter how inadequate it is, I still need to say it."

"Arizona?" Alex knocks softly on her door.

"I'm fine Alex." She says quickly, not really wanting to talk to anyone yet.

Pushing the door open a bit, he sticks his head in, "I'm not." He says simply. "Can I please talk to you a minute?"

"Oh okay?" She says, moving the covers so that she's covered up. If he wants to talk about the amputation, the least she do is not make him look at it during the conversation. "Come in."

Leaning in the doorway, he takes a moment to collect himself. He's not used to expressing his feelings and these have been buried deep for a while now. Suddenly, he comes over to the bed and sits down. "Arizona, I'm sorry that you lost your leg and I'm sorry that I'm the one who did it. I-I need you to know that it was one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do, but I would do it again, if it meant saving your life." He admits tearfully.

Taken aback by this side of Alex, the side he hides from everyone, but one that she's seen once or twice. Arizona reaches up to wipe a tear from his face. "Alex, it's okay. I understand and for what it's worth, I'm sorry that you had to do it too." She says caressing his face. In all the years of their friendship, they've never been touchy or feeling. But she sees how much pain that he's in and she can't help but try to comfort him.

Looking down for a moment as he tries to collect himself, "Look whatever you need me to do, I'll do it. If you want Peds back and you need me to go, then I'll go. I- I owe you everything. And I mean everything. Please just tell me what you need me to do?" He pleads.

Now she's crying, "Damn it Karev." She says as she reaches out to pull him to her. "You stay. I can't lose you now."