Title: What I did for Love
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Lost Girl and this here story is just my way of appreciating the show. Please don't sue me for infringement.
Summary: How did Lauren get to know so much of the fae? Set right after the Garuda battle.
Pairing: Bo/Lauren
A/N: I wanted to do this fic for some time now but I was hesitating because I couldn't really "see" the ending and I'm not really good with vague one-shot type stories. Anyway, I decided to just go ahead and hope that you still find it enjoyable. This is un-beta'ed though so please be patient with the mistakes. By the way, sorry for the lame myth thing. I had to invent some because I was too lazy to actually search for a similar concept.
The air at the Dal was one of muted celebration. There were happy of course, and relieved, that the greatest threat to the fae was finally defeated but they were also tired and conscious of the people that they were missing. Trick was only downstairs, resting but Ciara should be here, toasting her drinks alongside theirs. Even Lachlan, at the very least, should have been able to join the celebration. This had been his battle, the one that had dogged him the moment he was born Naga and destined to fight the Garuda. This was also his triumph.
But even with the lingering sadness in the air, it was easily overwhelmed by their tired but still hearty cheers. They were currently toasting each other and Hale had raised his glass for one more.
"To Dr. Lauren Lewis! For being brilliant and patching us up again and again. For patching Kenzi up," he added with a grateful look. Lauren only smiled and nodded her head in demure acceptance.
"Hear hear!"
Hale waited a second after they had drank their toast before he continued, "Seriously though doc, that was really cool. I didn't even know I could do that."
"Do what?" Bo asked inquisitively.
Hale looked at her confusedly before he remembered that she hadn't been present at the time, and in a flash of realization, he wondered if the succubus was even aware of how close Kenzi had come to dying. Bo didn't know, Hale decided in second, and didn't even have a single clue especially since Kenzi looked none the worse for the wear. The goth girl only looked as if she just had a wild night of partying and was just about to crash. There was nothing in Kenzi's demeanour to indicate that she had been gutted earlier, almost bled to death and had to be stitched up with high sonic frequency.
Before he could try to censor his words, share the news gently, his sister had piped up.
"Oh, we just discovered that my brother's whistle can do more than cure hangover headaches. At extremely high frequencies, he apparently, can also seal gaping flesh wounds," Val stated matter-of-factly.
Hale fought the groan (and his irritation; he could do more than heal hangovers! At least his power was more useful than taking voices.) as he watched Bo's eyes widen in surprise, turning quickly into dread. "What?" He saw the succubus quickly put it together and her gaze jumped to her best friend's. "Kenzi?"
"I"m okay, Bo-Bo," the goth girl took a nonchalant sip of her drink to demonstrate, "Like Hale said, we owe it all to the doc. Thanks again, Lauren." Kenzi raised her glass to salute the doctor.
Lauren only smiled again but then she said, "Actually Kenzi, you're not 100% okay yet. You still need to go back to the lab for a serious check up. I called in a team to come pick you up in a half hour or so. I figured you would have wanted to celebrate a bit first before I pack you up to be examined and prodded."
Bo seemed to relax at that. If Lauren was allowing Kenzi to have fun instead of directing her to the lab immediately, then it couldn't be a serious concern.
Hale couldn't curb his curiosity then. "But how come she's still okay doc? I mean, we all saw that wound..." He took a quick glance at Bo, who looked a little worried again. Hale could also see that she was growing curious. "She shouldn't be able to be jump around like that, should she?"
Kenzi muttered something around her drink but otherwise, she too looked at Lauren inquisitively.
Lauren sighed and took a small sip of her beer before answering. "Kenzi is probably feeling a little tired right now but otherwise there should be no pain. That's because I gave her a stimulant..." When Hale made as if to ask again, Lauren talked quickly. "I'm not gonna tell you what it is right now, but obviously it's fae and very potent. If Kenzi wasn't young and healthy, I wouldn't have attempted administering it because it does put a lot of strain in the body, especially for a human."
"Is it... is she gonna be okay?" Bo asked, concerned.
"Yes, she'll be fine." Lauren gave Kenzi a reassuring smile. "The biggest danger earlier was the blood loss which Hale was able to resolve. I'm fairly certain there wasn't any organ damage but she still needs to get checked out."
When Bo breathed a sigh of relief, that should have been the end of that but Hale couldn't let it go yet.
"So, how did you know I can do something like that?" he asked excitedly, "Man, I can't believe it. More than a century alive and I'm still surprising myself with the limits of my powers."
Lauren shrugged. "I didn't. It was only a theory."
"One we're all glad was proven right," Dyson interjected smoothly. Vex snorted behind him. "Yeah, yeah, rah rah for the doctor. Pour us another round will ya?"
Val absently handed him the bottle, as she too got caught up in her brother's excitement. "I have heard of you before Dr. Lewis and what I heard was all complimentary. I must admit that I too am very impressed with what I've seen for myself. The Ash did well in choosing you as his medical advisor," she said, not catching the fleeting wince in Lauren's face and the tightening of Bo's jaw.
Hale spoke hurriedly, before Bo said something against the former (former) Ash. (He was sure that of the two ladies, Bo would be the one to easily lose her temper and that wouldn't be good as his family were actually big supporters of the previous Ash.)
"That's cool, doc," he said, grinning. "You're really something. Considering the short time you've been with the fae, it's amazing how much you already know about us. What's your secret?" He meant it as a joke but something in Lauren's face shifted and her eyes became unreadable.
Beside him, Dyson stirred and taking a quick look, he knew that his partner had also noted Lauren's reaction.
"Oh yeah, I was also wondering about that," Bo said, "I know you're like an amazing genius doctor and all but you really know a lot about the fae too. Do you have photographic memory or something?"
"It is kinda freaky," Kenzi commented with a thoughtful face, "Even I know that if Trick's not available, we go to you for information. Not Dyson or Hale, who're actually fae."
Something in Lauren's eyes shifted again and when she spoke, Hale could hear the deflection in her words.
"That's because I have the fae database and library to rely on," Lauren said smoothly.
"Ohh yeah." Bo and Kenzi seemed satisfied but Val had caught on.
"No, there's something else, isn't there?" his sister asked. "Even with the information you have, you still wouldn't be as good as you are. Merely reading something off the database is a long way from actual understanding and being able to practice that knowledge." She sat up straighter, her face reflecting confusion and suspicion. "The Ash wouldn't have assigned you as his medical advisor just like that. Even if you were his favorite pe- uhm, ward," she had finally noticed Bo's flashing eyes at her mention of the Ash and Lauren's status, "I mean, you have to be more than competent for him to rely on you. Your position isn't just honorary after all."
"True," Hale heard Dyson mutter and he could see his partner looking at Lauren more intently.
His gaze returned to the doctor when he heard her give a big sigh. He saw her shoulders slump in defeat and for a moment, he wanted to shield her from the questions and make them all back-off. (She just looked so tired and sad and accepting. Not like the cool, stand-offish doctor he'd known for the last five years.) But he was too curious and he wanted to know.
Lauren shot Dyson a glance and gave them a rueful smirk. "Fine, you got me." She quickly finished her drink before pushing her glass at Vex to be refilled, which the mesmer did without comment. With a murmured thanks, she began to explain. "The thing is, Dyson and I have more in common than you might think."
Everyone looked confused at this.
"Do you get the urge to howl at the moon every once in a while too?" Kenzi ventured half jokingly.
There was a brief smattering of chuckling and Dyson grumbling before Lauren shook her head. "No, not that. Fortunately for me." Another round of smiling at the playful barb. "It's the other thing," Lauren continued. "I made a deal too."
Bo's dramatic gasp and Kenzi's loud, "No way!" obscured Hale's silent sharp intake of breath.
"You made a deal with the Norn?" Bo asked in disbelief.
"Dyson made a deal with a norn?" Hale heard Val ask in the background, only to be answered by Vex's derisive chuckling and a, "Knew you were a flea bitten mutt but I didn't know you were a stupid, masochistic mutt."
Dyson didn't even react to them because he was too focused on Lauren, jaw clenched and his entire body strung tight in tension.
"No. Not the Norn," Lauren said. "It wasn't that kind of deal. The one I made was for knowledge."
Kenzi looked confused but only said, "Figures."
Surprisingly it was the mesmer who understood first. "You made a deal with the Guardians? Bloody hell." He looked impressed and slightly awed. "You've got massive balls, doctor."
Bo shot Vex a glare at his crudeness but Lauren only chuckled. "Thanks, Vex."
Hale was still trying to remember what he knew about Guardians, if he even knew anything because so far nothing was coming to mind, when Val spoke up. "You mean the Custodians?" She too looked amazed.
At that, Hale was suddenly able to comprehend their reactions as the full import of what Lauren was admitting was revealed to him. Dyson, judging from the slack jawed reaction he could spy from the corner of his eye, had the same epiphany.
"Shit!" Hale murmured with genuine feeling. "The Custodians, Lauren? Really? How did you even...?"
"Okay, here's where you guys make with the explaining so we can all gawk at the doctor as well," Kenzi cut in. "Seriously, what's with that reaction?"
"Lauren?" Bo's hand crept to hold Lauren's, sensing that this would not be a nice, funny story.
"It's okay, Bo," Lauren softly reassured the succubus, squeezing her hand gently.
"So?" Kenzi said impatiently. "What is the Custodians? Is it like a Norn?"
"You dim-witted idiot, a Norn is nothing compared to the Guardians!" Vex replied, tossing back his drink. "They're much scarier and more powerful."
"You're scaring me here," Bo said, still looking at Lauren intently. "Why... what...ugh, Dyson will you please explain?" Bo asked, her gaze turning momentarily to the wolf.
Dyson cleared his throat and began. "The Custodians, or Guardians, are called so because they are the keepers of all knowledge."
"When you say all knowledge, you mean..." Kenzi again.
"ALL knowledge. Everything that was learned and maybe everything that could be learned," Val interrupted.
Kenzi's soft "whoa" was barely heard when Dyson continued. "Yes, they... well, we don't have much information about them beyond that so we don't know how they keep it or even why, although there are many theories. Now, technically anyone can ask them to share that knowledge and that's where the deal part usually comes in." He took a quick sip of his drink, glancing at Lauren again, his disbelief plain to see. "Not all knowledge is uh, good, in a manner of speaking. Some can be easily used for evil purposes."
"Like say the knowledge to destroy the world or something," Vex offered. At Bo and Kenzi's flabbergasted faces, he shrugged. "Just an example."
"Yes," Dyson agreed when they turned to look at him, "That is a possibility. It can be by magic or science, like building a super bomb or virus that will destroy the Earth. I'm not certain of course, but if it's possible then the Custodians most likely carry that knowledge with them."
"Is that okay? To just leave that knowledge lying around like that?" Bo asked, getting slightly angry as was her usual reaction to things that confused and frightened her.
"That's the point, Bo. It's not lying around. It's guarded closely. I don't even know how the Guardians came to be: are they born or made? Do they die? It's too mysterious and you just don't get that knowledge for free. As I said, they make a deal first."
"What deal?" Kenzi asked.
This time a new voice came to answer, "They determine what is important to you and unlike the Norn, they make sure that you know exactly what you're giving up before they accept the terms."
"Trick," Lauren rose up to assist the pale looking bartender to another seat. "You shouldn't be out of bed. You need to rest more, your body is busy purging the venom from its system."
Trick smiled gently at her. "I was thirsty and came up for a drink. I overheard your conversation." He took Lauren's hand in his and gave it a sympathetic squeeze. "Oh Lauren, to have tangled with the Guardians..."
"It's okay, Trick," Lauren reassured him, echoing her earlier words to Bo.
"So, not like the Norn who tries her hardest to trick you?" Bo clarified, looking to Lauren again after she made sure her grandfather was really okay. "That sounds good, right?"
"Yes," Lauren took up the explanation. "It is a fair process. But it is not an easy one." She hesitated. "The Guardians make sure that the price is always a little too high to pay. It is understandable, of course. Knowledge should not be gained easily and you have to appreciate the gravity of what was offered to you. The more you want, the higher you have to pay."
"What did you ask?" Hale questioned although he already had an inkling what she asked for. What he really wanted to know was her payment. What had the doctor given up?
"Knowledge of the fae, primarily the biology of the major genera of life forms and some knowledge of the culture. That's why I know a lot about the fae. I've studied them too, of course, but the Guardians gave me a big starting boost. On my own, there was no way I would be familiar with the fae in just five years. The knowledge I gained was worth at least 20 to 30 years of dedicated study."
"That hard?" Kenzi commented.
"The fae are a truly diverse species, Kenzi. And they are each and everyone unique, with their own specific physical traits that makes it challenging to learn each biology, let alone all of them. But I couldn't very well treat the fae under my care without knowing so..."
"How did ya get to them, anyway? Heard it was almost impossible to find them," Vex asked curiously.
"The former Ash used his contacts," Lauren said, "He was the one who suggested it actually, he encouraged me to make the deal."
Bo's eyes flashed dangerously blue again although she didn't say anything. Dyson let out a snort of disgust and Vex chuckled good naturedly. "That one was a wily bastard, alright. Even managed to run rings around Evy for a time or two."
"So, how much was it? I mean, what did you pay for that knowledge?" Kenzi asked blithely. Hale tensed at that. Even now, Kenzi didn't understand the depth of her question and the true importance of the Custodians, or else she wouldn't be so careless in asking. But still, he found himself grateful for her ignorance because he wanted to know too. Actually, everyone seemed to want the same thing because Hale could feel the tension rise up and see people leaning slightly forward to hear Lauren's answer.
"Fifteen years," was all the doctor said.
"What?" Kenzi asked again even as Trick's face fell in sympathetic pain.
"My life, Kenzi," Lauren explained. "I gave up fifteen years of my life. The price was originally for twenty years but the Ash shouldered some of the payment for his own. He paid for it in another way, I just don't know what. I didn't ask."
"How...?" Bo was unmoving, her face carefully blank although she couldn't hide all emotion from her eyes.
"They siphoned it off, turned it into a useable energy, I imagine." Lauren shrugged. "They carry all knowledge so it's not that hard to take away life. I guess it's a little like a serket's ability except the Guardians' way was much more exact science and once taken, cannot be returned. A serket's wouldn't help me now."
"Fifteen years?" Kenzi was only now beginning to understand the magnitude of that price. "What if you were only supposed to live til you're sixty and now you're, what, gonna die at forty-five?"
"Essentially, yes," Lauren said. "For a human like me with a fairly short-spanned life, the Guardians decided that my valuable commodity is my life itself, because it is already so little and therefore the most precious."
"Ouch." Vex commented in the background. Hale was still left staring at Lauren, astonished at the doctor's sacrifice.
"Why...?" It seemed that Bo was reduced to one word sentences for now.
Lauren sighed. "I told you. That knowledge was easily 20 years worth. I couldn't spend all that time in study, when I could be useful already. Of course, I still had to translate my own knowledge of medicine to my new knowledge of the fae but that was easier than trying to learn everything slowly."
"But fifteen years?" Kenzi looked horrified and Hale thought he understood. For a young human like Kenzi, who probably didn't relish the thought of aging or dying (who relishes that thought, really? Fae or Human, nobody wishes to give up their life.), the concept of giving up life (youth) must be baffling and crazy.
"It's not all different from putting your life on the line to save someone, like we did today," Lauren tried to say but Kenzi was already shaking her head. "That's a lot different! Way, way too different actually."
"How?" Lauren asked, genuinely curious to the goth's answer rather than mocking.
"That's... what we did was important and I... Bo's my best friend, of course, I have her back. And I know she's got mine too." Kenzi struggled to explain.
"That's mostly the same with me," Lauren offered. "I didn't mind giving up my life because I felt that acquiring that knowledge was important. At least with my situation, it wasn't dangerous. I don't face death in every corner like earlier."
"But, you still lost fifteen years of your life!" Kenzi argued.
"Think of it as a sort of gamble then, with my life as the stakes," Lauren explained patiently. "When we decided to go after the Garuda, the risks were very high and we bet all in. There were only two outcomes: we live and get everything, or we die and lose all. But with the deal I made, it was more balanced. You may see it as a loss but I didn't walk away empty handed. I considered it a win because I gained something valuable for something that I had been willing to part with."
"But why? What is worth all that?" Val interrupted. Hale could see the intense interest in her eyes and felt a sinking sensation when he realized he could tell how this conversation would go.
"My girlfriend, Nadia," Lauren stated simply, shocking his little sister.
"Ohoh yeah, you've got a girlfriend, I remember! Where is she anyway?" Vex crowed in the background but was again, ignored by everyone else as Lauren continued.
"She... was the reason I came to join the fae. At the time, I thought she was ill and I was convinced it was of fae origin. I was sure that the knowledge I gained from the Guardians would help me solve her problem too, not just help the Ash. That's why I agreed to it."
"Oh."
Before anyone else could comment, Bo stood up abruptly and with a hurried "excuse me", left quickly.
Lauren and Dyson both made as if to go after the succubus but Kenzi was already standing and waved them down, "I got it." before moving to follow.
A small awkward silence fell on the remaining people before Vex broke it with a teasing, "What's gotten up her knickers?"
Then Trick stood up as well to excuse himself and Lauren volunteered to escort him back to his chambers. Val opened her mouth to protest, wanting to ask the doctor more questions but Hale held her hand and shook his head imperceptibly. His little sister usually refused on principle to listen to any of his orders but she acquiesced this time when she saw how serious he looked.
Vex only continued to refill his glass and turned to Dyson, "So, what'd that old hag took from you?"
Dyson glared at him and said, "Go away Vex. I'm sure the Morrigan knows about the Garuda by now, so why don't you go back and beg her to take you in once more?" before stalking away to the bar. The mesmer only huffed, "Killjoy." and proceeded to ignore them.
xxx
When Lauren came up after putting Trick to bed, she found Bo waiting for her.
"Bo?"
The succubus was trying to look carefully blank but her tightening jaw betrayed her mood. "Lauren, that team you sent just came and took Kenzi back to the compound. I told her I'd follow behind and take you with me, if that's okay with you?"
Lauren nodded. "Yeah. Just let me get my stuff and then we can go."
They gave hurried goodbyes to the others and Lauren watched as Bo waved off Dyson's offer to accompany them.
In the car, the awkward silence continued until they reached the highway. It was only then that Bo allowed herself to relax and talk to a patiently waiting Lauren.
"I'm sorry. About running out earlier," Bo began, "I... I got upset and I didn't want to say anything that would hurt you so..."
When it didn't seem as though she would continue, Lauren tried to draw her out further. "What upset you?"
She watched the succubus' hands tighten on the steering wheel and tried to steel herself for an outburst or accusation. What Lauren got instead was Bo releasing a heavy sigh of resignation. "I hate everything that the Ash did to you. I... I'm just so mad, Lauren. I want to find him and punch him in the face and just..." Bo stopped when she felt the doctor's hand envelop one of her own. She relaxed at the touch and murmured, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, Bo," Lauren said and tried to release Bo's hand again to allow her to drive but the succubus did not allow her to. "I don't want you to be sorry for caring about me."
"Fifteen years, Lauren," Bo voice was laden with despair. "I get that you thought it might be of some help for Nadia but in the end, he just used you! He took advantage of you!"
Lauren hesitated but finally shared something else. "Lachlan told me that the Ash ordered the curse on Nadia too."
Bo's hand tightened around hers painfully before the succubus relaxed again. "Damn! I forgot about that. The shaman told me about it when I..." she stopped when she felt Lauren's hand slacken. Taking a quick glance at her companion, she saw that the doctor looked shocked.
"You ended the curse?"
Bo winced when she remembered she wasn't supposed to tell. But what did it matter anyway, when Nadia was already dead. The thought of Lauren's recently deceased girlfriend produced a heavy weight in her heart but she pushed it away for now. "Yeah. I wasn't supposed to tell. Lachlan said it was part of the ritual to remove the curse."
She took another glance at Lauren and this time saw tears on the doctor's pale face. "Oh, Lauren. Don't cry, please." She released Lauren's hand and still staring at the road, groped for the doctor's face, finding it and trying to offer some comfort, despite her awkward position.
Lauren leaned into her hand for a second, before she removed it and placed it back on the wheel. "Thank you, Bo. I didn't know and... I, I owe you so much already, just... Thank you so much."
"You're always welcome," Bo replied simply.
The silence fell again but this time, it was more comfortable. They were nearing the compound when Bo spoke again. "Are you...is the... uh, the deal...?
"What about it?" Lauren asked.
"Are... do you know how long, uh... how long...?
Fortunately for Bo, Lauren understood her half formed questions. "No. I didn't ask how long. However, I do know that the regular life span has improved greatly so I may last until my 70's at least."
Bo gave a tight nod at that but didn't comment. Lauren could see she wanted to, though. So the doctor pushed, "Tell me what you're thinking, Bo."
"Nothing." At Lauren's disbelieving look, that she caught out of the corner of her eye, Bo amended her statement. "I, it's not really important but it just reminded me of this nightmare I had. Remember with that Mare we encountered?"
Lauren nodded and Bo continued. "I saw myself as old and she, me, well future me, she was so sad and full of bitter regret and she told me that she didn't find love again after you and Kenzi died."
"It was just a dream, Bo," Lauren pointed out.
"I know," Bo said, frustration seeping into her voice. "But it would still happen right? I never really thought of it before but I am fae. It's not just me having powers and having to control my desires to feed, it's... I'd have a long life too. Like Dyson or, my mom. I'd live for centuries and, and..."
"And I won't," Lauren finished for her.
"Yes." It was a whisper but Lauren heard the bewildered anger and sadness lacing the word. "And what short life you already have is lessened by that deal you made," Bo continued, getting angry again.
Lauren barely noticed that they had arrived and was parked outside the compound as she turned towards the succubus to grab her face between her hands. "Bo, listen to me. I don't want you to think about that, okay?"
"How can I not?" Bo asked, getting teary. "I don't want to lose you Lauren."
"You won't," Lauren comforted her, "At least not yet. I don't want you to worry about things that aren't in your control because that would only hurt you in the end." When Bo tried to pull away, Lauren held her firmly and willed her to look her in the eye. "We have time right now Bo, and... we, if you allow it, we can try and be happy together. "
Bo took hold of one her hands and brought it to her lips in a gentle kiss. "You're right, I don't want to waste any more time. Lauren, I, I want to try."
Lauren smiled widely at that and something inside her unclenched, making her feel almost lightheaded. Bo echoed her smile and brought their faces closer together for a kiss.
It was gentle and passionate, all at the same time. They didn't let go until they were forced to pull away for breath and afterwards, only grinned at each other.
"Kenzi," Lauren murmured.
Bo raised an eyebrow, "I should be offended that you're saying another girl's name after I just kissed you..."
"But you won't because you know we have to go," Lauren smirked.
Bo gave a mock sigh. "Fine. Let's go and check on my best friend." She gave Lauren a saucy wink, "Then we can go back to your rooms to continue this."
For the first time in what seemed like months, Lauren let loose a genuine and light hearted laugh.
The END
Another author's note: Okay, so as I mentioned earlier, this was un-beta'ed, so I'm sorry for any mistakes. Also, I'm not sure if anyone did a story with this topic in mind before so if it turns out that I had copied another fic, please forgive me. I'm not actually reading any Lost Girl fanfics right now (except for those I have already bookmarked for updates) and I'm not up to date on the new ones being published. (A little strange, I know, since I write exclusively for LG) Anyway, you might also feel that the story ended somewhat abruptly and again, I'm sorry for that, but I really can't think of anyway to extend it. Mostly I just wanted to put that theory out on how Lauren gained her fae knowledge and then Bo and Lauren had to hijack it and discuss Lauren's mortality and its effects on their relationship.
Hope you still enjoyed it though. Thanks for reading. Human Doctor update should also be up soon. (A little longer than the usual chapter too as a reward for having to wait two weeks for it.)
Cheers,
Rabastan04
P.S.
I wanted to add that I considered changing the title to: All knowledge is worth having, in honor of Kushiel's Dart by J. Carey but decided to keep that one in the end. I'm just mentioning it now to plug that awesome book. Please, if you like historical fantasy, read that book. (and the following sequels). :D