Author's Note:

So yeah... One random day, a friend of mine told me about this weird and random pairing that she thought I would be hillarious.

Kenpachi and Hanataro...

So then I thought to myself Hmm... Maybe I should write a story to explain this pairing...

So, I am. This is my first story, so it may not be perfect...

Rumble Rumble Rumble Rumble…

"W-What?"

Rumble Rumble Rumble RUMBLE

"What the heck?"

RUMBLE RUMBLE RU-

"TAICHO!"

That was the last straw… He couldn't take any more noise. His face twitched at the mere thought of seeing that fruitcake and cue ball all over each other again. His eyes slowly peaked open, only to see the fuzzy outlines of the peacock and the bowling ball hovering above him, their faces plastered with an evil grin.

"Fwaaah…" Kenpachi yawned. "What do you two freaks want now? You should know that after lunch on Saturdays I take my nap with Yachiru! Now SHUT UP!"

The tiny puff-ball that was curled up by Kenpachi's feet began to wiggle. Ikkaku slowly began to back up; He knew what was coming… It was always him… Suddenly the girl leaped into the air, teeth at the ready, eyes flaming; CHOMP

"AAAAAAAAAAH! Get it OFF me! Get it off! GET IT OFF!"Ikkaku shrieked.

Yumichika, still leaning against the doorway with his arms folded in front of him, chuckled. "Ah, my dear Ikkaku, how that pink monstrosity of a shinigami that is attached to your scalp greatly complements your makeup," he giggled.

Kenpachi just stared. Not just because Yumichika made possibly the fruitiest comment of the day, but the fact that Yachiru was still attached to Ikkaku's head. She doesn't usually stay on this long…

"Hey, Yachiru… You're, uh… gonna let go, right?" he questioned.

"Muflgugh flagah bregah" She said, staring at Kenpachi.

"Oh…Okay…"

"You understood what she said? Wow… weird… " Yumichika mumbled.

"She said her teeth are lodged into Ikkaku's skull," Kenpachi translated.

"Oh… Hey, Ikkaku, you okay?"

At this point, blood began flowing steadily down Ikkaku's head, covering his entire face; It looked as though he were a soldier whom recently returned from a gruesome battle. Yachiru's face began to turn pale; She never liked the taste of blood.

"Can we get her off my freakin' head now?"Ikkaku screamed.

"Ugh… Let's take you to the 4th squad. They should be able to fix this there. And I'm doing this for Yachiru, not you, Ikkaku," Kenpachi stated.

Slowly fallowing behind, Yumichica began to think to himself:

Ugh… Why does Taicho pay so much attention to that puff-ball? I mean come on, how can you not resist this? My feathery light hair, beautiful skin, and dashing eyes… Come ON! Everyone loves me…

"You coming Yumichika?" asked Ikkaku.

"Yea-uh.. Yeah…"

The group stalked around Soul Society for about an hour.

"Uh.. Taicho? You still have no sense of direction, do you?" Ikkaku questioned.

"Oh shut up…" he responded while smacking Ikkaku's arm.

Why doesn't he act that cool with me?Yumichika whined to himself.

Suddenly, Kenpachi stopped and turned towards Yachiru, still hanging off Ikkaku's bald head. He then grabs her by her ankles and begins to pull.

"Aaaah…." Ikkaku begins, but no sound truly comes out due to the severe pain he was in.

She wasn't budging. She was truly stuck. Then, Kenpachi hatched an idea. He lifted his leg up and plastered it onto Ikkaku's chest. He then pushed with on his foot, using the extra leverage to pull Yachiru even harder. She shifted. He began to pull even harder.

"Hey, Yumichika… Grab Ikkaku's arm for me and on the count of three, pull like hell, okay?" Kenpachi asked.

"Okay!" Yumichica smiled. Aah! He asked me to do something!

He ran over and grasped Ikkaku's hand and held it tight.

"Ready? 3… 2… 1… Pull!"

They both pull with their full might. Ikkaku begins to scream like a little girl. This causes Yachiru to laugh. She starts with a low giggle, which grows to a loud hysterical laugh. While laughing, her mouth opens up just wide enough for her teeth to unlatch from Ikkaku's scalp.

"Aah… Oh my goodness… YES! It feels SOOO good!" Ikkaku yells at the top of his lungs.

Yumichika stares at him. Then Kenpahi. Then Yachiru. He looks around, embarrassed, realizing what he's just yelled aloud.

HA! That's great… Helloooooooooo Blackmail Yumichica thought.

"Oh shut up Yumichika... I know what you're thinking," Ikkaku said while staring intently at him.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat... I didn't do anything..."

"Oh yes you did... You thought it!"

"NO!"

"Getoverhere..." Ikkaku mumbled while grabbing Yumichika's orange collar.

He began to squirm. "NoOooOo! Let me GO! You're stretching the fabric!"

CENSORED

Yumichika began to pick himself up off the ground, his arms wobbling under his weight.

"Oh wow... It's a good thing we were on our way to the 4th squad... It looks like you need it," Kenpachi growled at the man trying not to lose his consciousness.

Ahhhhhhhhhh~ X3 He cares about me!

Kenpachi grabbed Yumichika's leg and began to drag him along the ground. He continued this for the entire trip to the 4th squad, which they eventually reached, no thanks to Kenpachi's "sense of direction"...

OMG! I finally finished a chapter

:D

I'm sorry Its taken me so long to write this DX

I'm not a big writer, I'm more of a visual artist...

I promised myself I'd finish this story someday!

Next chapter: TBA