The Big Bed

Author Note:I have to say, "Looking for Alaska" is definitely one of, if not the best, book(s) I have ever read. I loved it and connected with all of the characters deeply, though I have not endured the magnitude of the hardships and have never dealt with substance abuse of any kind. As John Green put it, a book belongs to the readers, and I personally believe that the characters don't use as much of the substance abuse as they grow older and mature, particularly after Alaska's dying. I feel that it would probably somewhere in their senior year and such they might start kicking it, as they will be adults and are will become more responsible with their actions as a result.

All of that aside, even though it practically impossible to choose a favorite character, the Colonel has to be favorite, with Pudge and Alaska coming in very closely after. I decided to write this cenetric for him as a result, of which takes place long before Culver Creek, Alaska, Miles, etc. As far as I understand, he always lived with his mother and, for a time his father, in the same small trailer. If that is inaccurate I apologize, but the themes and ideas that occur in the story are the same in any context, honestly.

Now that I've had this author note being very long, please review and enjoy. :)

Chip, Age Six

I wake up coughing really hard, but I cover my mouth as fast as I can when I do so I don't wake up Mommy or Dad. Dad is already nasty to Mommy and me, but when I wake up he gets even worse and yells at Mommy and I a lot. I don't like him and I know Mommy doesn't either, but I have to act like I do to make her happy. Because of all that, when he sits up in their bed I try not to cower a whole lot.

"D-Daddy?" I whisper, but I don't 'respect' him enough to call him that in my head.

"What are you coughing about?" He growls, his voice sounding like the little rocks outside our trailer. "Are you sick or somethin'?"

"No, Daddy." I sniff and start coughing again, harder this time. "S-s-sorry!"

He opens his mouth to start yelling at me, but Mommy sits up, glaring at him. She looks really pretty, even though she doesn't have all that gunk on our face and her hair is really messy. I wish she didn't just stay with Daddy when I bet every other daddy would say she's pretty, too.

"Leave him alone," she growls back at him. When she looks at me, she gets really nice again, which is a lot better than how she talks to him. "Chip, what's got ya' coughin' so hard? I've been listen' to ya' all night long, and you still ain't let up. You got a frog in your throat?"

I laugh and keep coughing; how could I have a frog in my throat? That's silly!

"D-dunno..." I cover my mouth and wipe off some of the water from my head.

"It's probably all that damn smokin' you do." Mommy turns back to Dad, glaring even more meanly. "You're going to poison your own son and kill 'em before he even becomes a man!"

"How the hell are ya' goin' blame it on me? Ain't my fault if he's got a damn virus!" Dad yells back and I glare at him, too.

"You can't yell at Mommy like that!" I yell back to him for the first time ever. It makes me feel really good and powerful, like a man!

He looks at me with a really big glare right after I yell and I try to hide in the back of the couch. He may talk mean to us a lot, but when he pulls out his belt I know I'm in for big trouble. He's mean to Mommy and I all the time, so I probably need to 'get used to it', but I just can't when he's such a big bully. Mommy said he wasn't a real man and I think she's right, even more at times like right now!

"You say one more word and I'll-" He starts, but Mommy saves me.

"You'll do what, Carson?" She glares even bigger at him and stands up. "If you're goin' talk to our son like that when his coughin' your damn fault, you can sleep outside!"

"You can't kick me out of my own home!" He yells back at her, and I have to cover my ears.

"Your home? Who pays the damn bills every month?" She grabs his shirt and he swings his hand back, like he'll hit, but I scream first and he stops before he starts.

"Shut up!" He yells at me and I gotta cover my ears again right after he does, 'cause he slams the door behind him when he goes out.

"Is he goin' come back?" I whisper after he's gone, hoping Mommy'll say no. If he doesn't, then we can be happy and not have to smell his bad breath and his smoke all the time.

She lets out a big breath and nods, making me want to cry all of a sudden. Instead of lettin' her see, though, I just nod my head and lay back on the couch, trying to go back to sleep after all the stuff that just happened. I hear Mommy get back in her big bed, then laugh a little.

"What are you doin' over there, young man? You get to sleep with me tonight after all that coughin' and hollerin'." She says softly, and I get up really fast and climb up as fast as I can.

"Will Dad be mad?" I ask her all soft in her ear, but she smiles and shrugs, so I just lay down and cuddle to her as close as I can get.

I really love it when she lets me sleep in the big bed with her like this. Maybe someday Daddy will move out forever, then her and I can sleep here instead of him and her. 'Sides, Dad doesn't really love Mommy. Mommy and I love Mommy and I, and that's all.

Maybe Mommy will know that someday, too.