And here I thought you cared. My life, always in danger. You, always gone.

Out, away. It doesn't matter. You've made your point. I can't talk to you without you leaving me, I can't see you because you won't meet me halfway. You expect me to pay for everything. To hand over everything, to give it all up for you. I already had, and where did it get me? Heartache, heartbreak. A gaping black hole where I once had a full heart. Full of love for you. But you broke me, you left me for another. I tried so hard to still be here for you. But it's hurts, the dark pain seeping deep into my soul

I drank poison for you, my Juliet. I gave my life for you, my very essence. I gave you my love, I gave you my everything. I died in every way possible, all for you. To still be here for you. But when you left I thought it was all over. Now you love another, you'd give your life for them. You don't understand how painful that is for me.

Still, I force a smile. I struggle to appear cheerful for you. God, give me the strength to get through this. Give me the ability to heal my heart, the emotional scars that have been left behind. No physical pain could match this trauma.

He hadn't even gotten to finish writing in his journal when he saw his ex striding across the field, holding hands with his new lover. Lee stared for a moment, and he could feel the bitterness twisting inside him. But he forced a smile, his eyes lighting up with deceptive joy. "Gaara…" He swiftly leapt to his feet, shoving the small notepad into a pocket before approaching the other two, giving Gaara a heartfelt hug. He could feel the tears stinging his eye, but refused to let them fall, instead releasing his previous love to swiftly turn away, gesturing across the field as a breeze combed through the blades of grass. "Isn't it nice out here? Peaceful…" Even he heard the drop in his tone, the darkness lying at the edges. Sakura now seemed like a silly little crush compared to the love he still held for the kazekage.

When silence met him, he glanced over a shoulder, locking gazes with Gaara for a split second before he looked away again. "What's up?"

Naruto cleared his throat, removing his hand from Gaara's; whom crossed his arms habitually when he had both free. "Look, Lee…" Naruto began, a hand absently shoving into a pocket of his orange jumpsuit.

Lee tensed, and swiftly turned to face them. "Don't….I don't need your pity. I just…I don't need it. Gaara-kun is happy. That's all that matters. Despite my efforts, I couldn't make him smile. I couldn't please him or make him love me. But he adores you."

Gaara's eyes narrowed in silence, before he looked away. It was true enough. He had used Lee to a certain degree, only allowing him to bring him off. No kissing, no little loving caresses. Just…sex. And money. Lee had a tendency to dote on him, and Gaara took it for granted, accepting each gift, before he began asking for more of them. But he didn't ask anything of Naruto. They spent a lot of time together, so much he hardly got any work done. And he had knowon Lee still loved him when he and Naruto had sex. He just hadn't cared. He'd tried with Lee, and it failed. So Gaara didn't see a problem with becoming sexually active with Naruto.

Gaara stepped closer to Lee, his expression cool. "Don't overreact. You're only making yourself look like a fool. We tried and it didn't work."

\Lee's eyes blazed with fury. "Only because you gave up. You didn't give a shit. If I had gone into battle and died, your main worry would have been how you would get off, and where your next present was coming from! I proposed to you, Gaara! You said you weren't ready, and then you're so committed to another relationship so easily?"

"You don't understand a thing, Lee. Stop acting like you do."

Lee growled lowly, his expression pale with pain. "Screw you. Just go away." he growled, his spine stiff as he walked away, heading back home. It started raining as he did, the fresh drops mixing with the tears running down his face. Why does he have to be so cruel? Why didn't he love me? Would he have if I had tried harder, done more for him? What did I do wrong? I gave him everything he asked for, and he still turned me away….

It was when he got home, he inhaled deeply, and shakily. He slammed the door closed behind himself, locking it before he headed into the living room, kicking off his shoes as he did. He scowled at a picture he had of him and Gaara, set in an oak frame. He picked it up, staring at it for a moment as he ran a finger over the glass, before throwing it across the room. It went sailing into a wall, the glass and wood shattering. "I hate him!" He cried out desperately, running fingers through his hair before gripping tightly. He knew it was a lie. He didn't hate Gaara. He couldn't. All he could do was love him, like a hopeless fool.

Lee sighed, heading into the bathroom. He stripped down, climbing into the shower. His mind filled with turmoil, with painful memories as the hot water streamed through his hair, and down his face. It was beginning to drive him crazy. The memories of him and Gaara only put salt in his wounds, but he was a glutton for punishment. He remembered the first time they had made love. He remembered their vacations, the only time they had gotten to spend together.

His eyes squeezed shut as he slammed a fist against the tiled wall, cracking the porcelain as he left a crater in the wall. "Why?" he murmured softly, feeling his heart shatter. "Why wouldn't he love me? What does Naruto have that I don't? I tried so hard…."

He swiftly shut off the water, his hair dripping wet as he climbed out, wrapping a towell around his waist. He stared at his reflection. He could hear voices from the past…

Bug eyed.

You'll never be a ninja…

Look at those freaky eyebrows!

Useless..

Hopeless dreams.

Dropout.

Failure…

Then through that came Gaara's voice, the first time he had admitted his respect for Lee. This made Lee struggle to breathe as he began hyperventilating. He couldn't take it anymore. He had made it to jounin, and his dream had been to be a splendid ninja. He could say he had reached that goal. He reached into the medicine cabinet, pulling out one of his shaving razors, and pulling it apart from the plastic, holding a thin and sharp blade in his hand now. He stared at it. "Is it worth it?" he murmured to himself.

Images of Gaara and Naruto flooded his mind, and he left the bathroom, heading into the kitchen to grab a pen and a piece of paper.

To my friends~

You'll never know how much you all mean to me. Your patience and you, yourselves was what got me through everything.

To Naruto~

Take care of Gaara. Love him like he's the most precious jewel in the world.

To Gaara~

I'll always love you. You're the other half of my heart.

He left the note on the kitchen table before glancing at the razor again, swiftly jamming it into his throat. His eyes widened. There was minimal pain, but he could feel the blood welling up, before flowing in a rich and dark red stream. So red it was almost black. The strength began to leave him, and he sank onto the ground, yanking the razor out again, only to deftly slice a wrist, his head tilting back as he closed his eyes with a sigh. "I love you, Gaara…"