A/N: A Modern AU, inspired mainly by Against the Current's song 'Gravity'.
Warning: Suicide mention [without it actually being suicide]. Yes, I'm playing with the idea that Sebastian was still a demon butler, and he took Ciel's soul when the time was right. So yeah.
The light was dim when she entered the house.
There was nothing to remember him by other than a few trinkets he left behind, and the air felt thick with sadness she couldn't bare it. The house was big, but there was no use for it if there was no one to fill the dark void that seemed to spread in now.
Elizabeth Midford no longer held the title of 'doting fiance', and the ring that graced her left finger seemed heavier now. Though it's been a month, she hadn't the heart to take it off and somehow she felt that he somehow had played some cruel joke on her and would return any moment now.
But that was not to be, as she sat in her living room she recalled the scene over and over in her head. Ciel was dead, by his own accord-her friend since childhood turned lover was dealing with so much grief that he thought it was best that he leave this world. And though he vowed to protect and love her always-that was a promise he broke and a little part of her resented him for it.
Three months before their marriage they had bought this house, and had moved in together to wait their ceremony. It was going to be beautiful, she had it all planned out. Their back yard would be enough to fill all their loved ones, her father would bring her down the aisle and she even had to smile at the thought of her big brother glowering at her soon to be husband across the way.
Now her family was begging her to come back home, to move on with her life and to not live in such an empty house. Her brother even offered moving in, but she wanted the time alone-and truly she was not alone completely. They had their servants who popped their head in from time to time, mostly nowadays it was Paula and Meyrin who came in and did the cleaning.
Bard had come in for a little while, hired by Ciel to be their personal chef-but he had been drafted in the military not too long ago and left before the incident. He didn't get a chance to say his goodbye, but she could see the corner of a letter addressed to her on the counter. She knew it was from Bard, just from the stamp that graced the envelope.
For all he knew, Ciel was still alive.
Finny had been their gardener, a close friend to Ciel and herself. He came by everyday with a new brand of flowers he's discovered, his way of trying to cheer her up.
They had a butler named Sebastian, but he's disappeared since then.
She knew eventually she would have to box all his things up, including his clothing and some of his little treasures he had kept from his former parents. And that had been the cause of all of this, his beloved parents who had died in some fire when they were just children. That day they had been in their elementary school, but it was as if she could remember it vividly.
It was when Ciel's world turned grey, and the day she tried to keep him from falling into a deeper depression than he was.
And now here she was, donning black clothing and a sullen expression it was as if he had dragged her down with him. Was she not too far off? She supposed not, but she couldn't do that to her loved ones. She couldn't do that to her family, and she wondered if that thought crossed Ciel's mind.
Did he ever think of how it would effect her?
Maybe he was just selfish.
"Miss Elizabeth," A timid voice called her out of her thoughts, "I am leaving for the day, do you need anything before I go?"
"I didn't know you were even here, Meyrin..." She answered softly, "But no, you've done enough for the day-thank you."
The maid seemed to shift by the entrance, uncertain if she should leave her young mistress by herself; "Pardon me for stepping over any lines, but if you do not wish to be alone in such a big house, you are more than welcome to stay at my place-you are."
Though the gesture was kind, and she knew what she was offering-Elizabeth simply put her hand up to her servant. "You have done quite enough for me the last month, I really appreciate the offer, but I prefer to stay home."
Meyrin offered her a smile, "You know my cell phone number, you do."
"I'll call and let you know if I need anything." She wouldn't, "Thank you, Meyrin-I shall see you and Paula tomorrow."
The maid simply nodded, closing the door behind her as she left. Elizabeth could only stare after as the door shut, leaving her to her thoughts again. She supposed it would take some time, but she couldn't let this get her down either.
It was just hard to try and understand why this happened.
Her mother visited the next morning, having been let in by Paula.
Elizabeth always respected her mother, and always tried to put up a front whenever she was around her. Frances Midford was a strong woman, but also a very caring one-and she had pushed her as a child to become the best she could be. It was hard on both of them when she lost Ciel, Frances couldn't watch her daughter suffer for so long.
No mother wanted to see their child go through what she had.
She only smiled at her mother as she came down the stairs, "Mom! I didn't know you were dropping by!"
Frances stared at her daughter for a moment, glancing down at her appearance with a slight disapproving look. She didn't say anything however, as she pushed back her bangs and quickly clipped them into place. "You've always looked better when your hair was out of your eyes, it'd be a shame to hide those pretty little eyes of yours."
"Oh, Mom..."
"But I'm not here to lecture you on your appearance," Her mother continued, "there is something I need to talk to you about."
Elizabeth only nodded, quietly asking Paula to put on the tea while her and her mother went outside onto the balcony. Usually she would have been properly dressed by now, even wearing her best dress for her mother. But lately she hasn't been doing that, and she knew her mother was taking notice.
"Elizabeth." Frances started, her hand holding onto hers as they sat down, "You know, I love you very much, as does your father...and we are worried about you."
"I'm fine, Mom...really."
"I know you, you are not fine."
"Well, I just lost my fiance Mom. I'm trying to deal with it."
Frances looked to her, "You were one that I never had to worry about, because when something happened to you-you bounced back. Every single time something bad happened to you as a child or in school, you came back with a smile because you knew it would be just fine."
"This is a little different..."
"I know, I know it is and I'm telling you to grieve for as long as you need. But please...do not grieve alone."
Elizabeth looked at her then, tears threatening to spill over again. 'Dammit, I thought I got over this...'
"It's not healthy to be living alone in a house that you bought with him," Her mother continued, "please do consider moving back home for a little while-or at least letting your brother come and help you."
"It's okay Mom, I have the servants-"
"Yes, your and Ciel's servants are very loyal to the end-but they've been in contact with us as well."
She shook her head, "Mom..."
"You are very strong to go through this, and to try and pretend it's alright." Frances said softly, squeezing her hand; "But it's okay to cry, it's okay to still love him...just don't do it alone. We are here for you, and we will help you get through this."
Soon she was crying and in the arms of her mother, she didn't know when the transition happened. Her mother hadn't held her like this since she was only a child, but her comfort only calmed her more as she held onto her. "Why didn't he want to stay with me, Mom?" She sobbed quietly, "Why wasn't I enough?"
"Sometimes the grief of one's past is too much..." Frances answered softly, "He needed help, Lizzy...he needed more help than we could give him."
"I miss him so much..."
"I know, we all do."
It wasn't too long before Edward had moved into the room across from hers, though the house was still full of his trinkets-he had helped her put them in a box. It had been two months since her talk with her mother, and three months since Ciel had been gone. It was a long road ahead of them all, but that was what her family was there for.
As she finished putting away the last of his clothing a ring caught her eye. It had a cerulean jewel, something that she's seen Ciel wear many times before. Slowly she picked the ring up off the ground, trying to remember if he had been wearing it the day of his death or if she had taken it off him before they took him away.
"What's that?" Edward inquired, picking up the box she packed up.
"It's his ring..."
"Do you want me to toss it?"
Elizabeth shook her head, placing it on her finger; "I think I'll keep it, I think it'll be okay."
"Are you sure...?"
"Yeah, I'm sure."
A/N: Well, that was a little more depressing than I thought it would be! If there's errors, please let me know kindly! Also if you've read and liked it, please let me know via Review it would be much appreciated!