Hi everyone! Whoo, haven't posted a fic in a little bit! This one's actually my first multi-chapter fic in a long time. I sincerely hope you guys like it. Ahhhhh enjoy!
(A/N: I'm done posting all my old fics now, although this was originally posted to my tumblr on April 2, 2014. This next chapter I'll be uploading will mark the start of my regular uploading of this fic!)
Mancante; Chapter One; 1,735 words.
"Shh… Can you hear that?"
She shakes her head.
"The wind is telling us secrets."
Hannah Hart had been gone for twelve weeks, brought upon by the return of Hello, Harto. She was all over the United States, Canada and most of Europe. It was grueling. Even moreso for a certain brunette and redhead.
Mamrie Hart missed her. Of course she missed her, they're best friends. But Grace Helbig hurt more. It took her too long to realize how she felt for Hannah. Two months. She fought herself for weeks until the night Hannah told them.
"It's only three months." She said.
Only three months.
Those three months turned out to be the longest of Grace's life. She spent the entire time thinking of Hannah, and on the off-chance she wasn't, she was trying to find a way to tell her that she was.
Hannah called every morning. Her sleepy "Hello"s gave Grace the strength to get through every day.
They saw each other almost every night via skype. Hannah resumed uploading Kitchens and Hello, Harto's, but it wasn't enough. Cameras did her sparkling blue eyes no justice. Phones, no matter how hard they tried, could not make Hannah's sweet voice sound the way it had when she whispered in Grace's ear. Nothing could be a better Hannah than Hannah herself, and Grace needed her close… now.
The same rang true for the other girls. Grace kept up her routine of daily uploading of content and Hannah never missed a single one. She needed the constant reassurance from Grace's chocolate eyes, although it wasn't the same as looking into them in person. She felt the physical ache for her in her bones.
Sometimes they made extra content for each other. Most of the time, it was only the two who could see them, and it was almost always that the content was directly for each other. Hannah would make personalized My Drunk Kitchens or read Grace an excerpt from a book or a poem she read that day; the latter making Grace's heart flutter more and more with every passing word. She felt the sincerity in the words Hannah was reading, and the sounds of each word floating off her tongue slowly confirmed the way Grace felt about the blonde.
Grace would tell Hannah dumb jokes she'd thought of or showed her the monologues she was practicing for an audition that day. She trusted Hannah to tell her the truth about the content. She knew Hannah would genuinely laugh at or help her improve her jokes or pick apart her monologue, telling her what was not only good but bad about it. It made Hannah feel closer to Grace- knowing she was trusted with something as big as Grace's career, but also with Grace's self-esteem. Normal friends would feel the burden when another friend needed their advice as often, but Hannah loved it. She loved knowing that what she was saying really made a difference to Grace. They made each other feel good.
Sometimes, both of them just talked. About their day, some new restaurant they liked. It didn't really matter to them, so long as they got to see each other's smiling face.
But tonight, Hannah was coming home.
While Hannah was away, Grace and Mamrie became a lot closer. They were already close, of course, but there was a lot they didn't realize they missed.
One night during a Homebuddies, a twitter question rolled in about the GracenMichelle stage shows. Grace Hadn't remembered much about them, and the movie they'd chosen was horrible, so they turned it off and watched the shows; the first time for Mamrie.
Watching the shows brought back that feeling of being onstage and, well, doing shows. They found a small local theater and started a new sketch group. It was a sweet escape from the pain of missing Hannah.
They even started a new channel together. They made GracenMichelle-esque content that the viewers loved. They kept a space open for Hannah when she got back from her trip, as per Grace's request, but she never got the chance to accept.
She couldn't take not having Hannah around. It sucked. Three months without the love of her life was so painful. It felt like she was losing her, and maybe she was.
"Grace?" Mamrie called from the other room.
"Yeah!"
"Are you going to get Hannah or is she getting an Uber?"
"She didn't ask me to get her."
"So she's in an Uber." Mamrie said, now closer.
Grace shrugged her shoulders.
"When does her flight land?"
"Ten-thirty."
"Cool beans." Mamrie said. She turned to walk out of the room, but stopped and looked at Grace. "I was gonna-"
"Amanda Bynes's I'm Doing Just Byne." Grace knew exactly what she was going to ask.
"Comin' right up." The redhead replied, a small smile on her face, and left the room.
Grace spent the remainder of the hours before Hannah returned writing what she would say.
DC was pretty; Hannah liked it. But Grace was prettier and Hannah liked her more.
She was eager to get home. She missed everything so much. She missed Grace. She missed Mamrie, Swike, Tyler even Goose and Beanz. She missed her bed.
Hannah sat down in her seat on the plane and managed to keep her eyes open long enough to hear the safety procedures, but as soon as the flight attendants left, she fell asleep.
It wasn't a bad rest; there was a lot of turbulence, a few babies crying and a bag fell and broke a guy's wrist. She remembered waking up briefly to hear that. The plane landed funny too. The landing gear wouldn't deploy and the pilot was forced to fly in circles until it finally did. It tacked on an extra 15 minutes to the initial landing time but Hannah didn't care. She was tired and just wanted to get back to Grace.
As Hannah walked up to her Uber, accompanied by her driver, her phone rand.
"Thanks, Jason." Hannah said while the driver put her bags in the trunk.
She sat herself down in the car and answered her phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Han, it's Swike."
Hannah buckled her seatbelt. "Oh, hey dude!"
"So, good news!"
"Please tell me it involves a grilled cheese with melted butter." Hannah whined; she didn't get to eat on the flight.
"Butter? I barely know 'er!"
"Shh that's my joke."
Swike laughed. "I'll get you your grilled cheese."
"So, what's the good news?" Hannah yawned.
"I just booked more Hello, Harto!"
Hannah tried to sound as excited as she was tired. "Oh, no way!"
"Yeah, with more dates and dates in parts of Asia and Australia!"
Now, she was really excited. Asia?! She could finally bust out some Japanese!
"Dude, that's amazing! When do we start?!"
"The 16th!"
Hannah's tone dropped drastically.
"Sarah, that's next Friday."
"Yeah it is!"
"Swike, I'm not even home from this Hello, Harto!"
"I'm sorry, dude."
"I'm exhausted."
Swike knew she was, but this was her career. She had to keep going. "You have a week to rest!"
Hannah sighed. "How long?"
She felt her whole body go cold as Sarah spoke the words into the line.
"Sarah!"
"I'm sorry! You need it for the extra dates and travel time!"
"How can I leave Grace for that long?!"
"Han, this is your job. She understands that."
Neither girl spoke.
"It's for your fans." Swike said after a long silence.
"Okay." Hannah sighed. She couldn't believe this was happening again.
Some days Hannah loved her job and some days she wished she got paid to sleep.
"Hello?"
Grace's heart leapt.
"Gracie? Mames?" Hannah called. "You guys asleep?"
Grace ran from her room and stopped short.
"Hi…" she whispered.
There was nothing. But in that nothing was everything. Their eyes said everything their mouths couldn't. Grace's screamed, "I love you," while Hannah's said, "I'm sorry."
Grace stepped forward, going for a hug, but all of her wished she could kiss her instead. A voice stopped her motion.
"Did I hear a Hannah?"
"Hey Mames!"
"Hey, pretty lady!"
Mamrie grabbed her in a hug, then released and the girls walked to Mamrie's couch.
"Sooo!" Mamrie started. "How was touring?"
"Same as always. Majorly exhausting but it, uh, it was totally worth it."
Grace just smiled.
"I missed you guys so much!" Hannah turned her head to Grace and gave a wink. She whispered so she knew Mamrie couldn't hear. "You especially."
Grace could feel her heart jumping. It wasn't like anything she'd ever felt before.
"So, we've got a show next week! You're coming, right?" Grace asked.
"Of course! What day?"
"Ah, the 17th?" Grace said uncertainly.
Mamrie nodded her head, and instantly Hannah felt awful. She knew she had to tell them, she just wished she could pack them up and take them too.
"Han?" Grace asked.
She loved when Grace called her that.
"I can't go, I'm sorry."
"Why?" Mamrie laughed. "You don't have plans."
Grace felt her heart sink. She'd been waiting for Hannah to see her perform for months.
"Maybe I have a date!"
"Oh, psht, okay." Grace joked, trying to hide the obvious pain.
"Did she really have a date?" Grace's mind ran wild.
"C'mon, why not?" Mamrie asked.
"I just can't." Hannah couldn't keep eye-contact.
"Han, look at me." Grace said.
Her puppy dog eyes were Hannah's weakness, and she knew it too.
"What aren't you telling us?"
"I leave for the next leg of Hello, Harto next Friday."
Grace's heart bounced off her feet.
"What?" She asked softly.
The look in Grace's eyes cut through her like a saw. She hated hurting Grace, even if it was out of her control. She wrapped her arms around the brunette. It was the least she could do to make her feel okay.
"For how long?" There was real concern in Mamrie's voice. "Shorter, right? I mean, you've already been everywhere."
"Swike booked dates in Australia and Asia."
"So that's less places to go to-"
"We're revisiting everywhere plus those places."
"How long."
"Five months."
Hannah was leaving for five months.
And Mamrie was angry.
And Grace was just a broken shell.