Mystic Space: Well it has been a while since I have posted anything… Life has been hectic for me recently. But I'm back for a little bit to bring a new story that I just finished… it might be kinda confusing, and if that is so I'm sorry… Feel free to let me know what is confusing and I'll try to fix it.
Anyway, here is my first Olette/Roxas story. Hope they are at least a little in character… if not, well I tried. Also this is a songfic to Stay by Sugarland
Also, I don't own these characters or Kindgom Hearts, I just use and abuse them.
Just Stay
I've been sittin' here starin' at
The clock on the wall
And I've been layin' here prayin'
Prayin' she won't call
It's just another call from home
You'll get it and be gone
And I'll be cryin'
Tick Tick Tick… Tick Tick Tick… Tick Tick Tick
The clock on the wall is showing that its 2:37, and judging by the absence of light around the drapes, it must be early morning. The question I have is, why am I up? I should be sleeping, wrapped in his arms, but I'm not.
Instead, he is asleep and I am sitting here, watching and waiting. And why is that? It's because if I was to go to sleep, when he leaves, and I know he will, he wouldn't say goodbye. He wouldn't see my tears, hear my pleas, or see my heart break just a little more. He would just leave and I don't want that, I want him to witness those. But why is he leaving?
Brring Brring Brring… Brring Brring Brring
There's the answer, right on time. And all I can do is watch. Watch as he reaches for it. Watch as he answers it and feel my heart crack a little knowing who's on the other end.
"Hello?" he answers, turning away from me. "Baby, Baby, Baby, calm down, I'll be home soon."
He's quiet for a moment and I know she is asking him where he is. And I know he's going to lie, because that's what he always does. Because I'm nothing more then a lie to him. But I wonder, which lie is he going to use today.
"Sorry, Babe, the boys' poker game ran long. But I headed towards my car tight now." He lies, grabbing his pants off my floor.
Now he's grabbing his shirt and throwing it on. I know he is going to go. I wrap my exposed body in the sheet and move to the other side of the bed. He's still not looking at me.
And I'll be beggin' you, baby
Beg you not to leave
But I'll be left here waitin'
With my heart on my sleeve
Oh, for the next time we'll be here
Seems like a million years
And I think I'm dyin'
What do I have to do to make you see?
She can't love you like me
I'm standing in front of him now; he's still not looking at me. Instead he's tying his shoes. Every time he leaves it's the same routine; he gets a call from her, he gets dressed, doesn't look at me, and heads for the door. I'm sure I could make it easier on us if I just let him go, but apparently pain is my friend. The more I beg and plead, the more it hurts.
"You really don't have to go." I tell him, trying to gently push him back on the bed.
"You know I do." He responds, attempting to move my sheet-wrapped body to sit next to him.
"No, I don't know!" I state, standing up to face him again.
He just stares at me. We have been over this before. He loves her and she loves him and I'm just the piece of ass he gets on the side. But I love him too, shouldn't that count for something?
"If I can't convince you to stay, then when am I going to see you again?" I ask, tears brimming my green eyes.
"No idea but I'll call you." He chuckles, knowing that it will hurt me more.
I cringe slightly. I swear he takes pleasure in my pain. But I have one more chance to convince him to stay.
I fall to my knees in front of him and reach for his belt. It takes him a second or two to figure out what I am doing and he grabs my hands to stop me. If only he had waited a couple more seconds, he would have stayed then. But, I guess, he learned from the last time I did this, and I guess he doesn't want to have to explain to her why he was later then he already was.
He gazes down on me, with my messed up brown hair and my teary green eyes. I stare back, trying to make my eyes beg for me, and pray that I don't get lost in his clear blue eyes.
"Baby, you know I can't stay." He finally says, as I reel back from him.
"Don't call me that!" I shout. "That's your name for HER. I am not her. Why can't you understand that? Why can't you love me as me?"
"I do love you as you." He says, calmly as he gets up. "But I have to go."
Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay
Now he is gone and has been for a while, but there is a knocking at my door. I pull myself off the floor, where he had left me, to answer it, still wrapped in my sheet. A small part of me wishes that he is standing there; begging for me to let him in, telling me that he only loves me; and that I can slam the door in his face. But I know that won't happen.
Instead it's my friend, Kairi. She could be called my savior. She always seems to know what nights I've spent with him, because she is at my door the next morning, coffee in hand, to try to ease the pain.
"He was here last night." She states more then asks, pulling my limp body into a hug.
I just nod against her shoulder. I know I don't have to say much for her to understand. She just seems to know.
"C'mon," she says, gently pulling me to my bathroom. "You need to get cleaned up. It might make you feel better."
I let her lead me to the bathroom. It's like I'm numb to my own body. The next thing I know, I am alone in my bathroom, staring at a girl, in the mirror, I barely recognize. Messy brown hair and dull green eyes stare back at me.
I turn on the water and step into the spray. I let it wash over me as I try to remember how I got myself into this mess, or why when I found out about her, I stayed. Anybody else would have told him to go to hell and walked away, but not me. I stayed and fell hard for a guy that would never truly love just me.
I finish my shower and step out into the bathroom, to find that Kairi had brought me clean clothes. Changing into them, I wonder why she puts up with me. All my other friends told me I was and am an idiot and most of them have moved on, leaving only Kairi. Granted she told me I was an idiot too, but she stayed with me.
I know exactly what to expect when I walk out into my room. It has been picked up, and the bed has been stripped and remade with clean sheets. Everything done by Kairi, who just stands by the door.
"Why do you do it?" I finally ask her.
She drops her eyes to the carpet and sighs.
"Because I know what you are going through, except I had no one there for me. It was hard but I made it and I am hoping that you will too." She confesses, tears sprinkling out as she glances at me.
"Who was he?" I ask, curiosity getting the best of me.
"His name was Tidus and her name was Yuna. I gave my heart to him before I knew what was going on. Took me several months after that day I finally said goodbye to actually move on. But even with all that hurt I was able to love again and now I have Sora. He is the best thing to happen to me and I try to never look back but only forward to what might be." Kairi whispered, as if trying not to wake past demons.
I just sat there, thinking. Thinking that she had just proven me wrong. That there were other people stupid enough to think that they can win in a situation like mine. I still know that I love him. Though his leaving is getting less painful and I no longer depend on just him. Maybe I am starting to become stronger.
"Are you ok today?" Kairi asks, breaking through the thoughts I was having.
"Yea, I think so." I tell her.
"Ok, 'cause I'm gonna head out. I told Sora I would meet him later today." She smiles.
"Ok, have fun." I encourage as she leaves.
She must truly love him with the way her eyes sparkle whenever his name is brought up. Makes me wonder if there is someone out there whose eyes would light up like that with my mention.
My thoughts are broken again, only this time by my phone ringing. Looking at the caller ID causes me to mentally cringe from both excitement and sadness.
ROXAS
I take a big breath before flipping it open. A breath to steady my nerves and thoughts.
"Hello?" I answer, in a voice I hope is calm.
"Hey 'Lette!" Comes the response. "I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and how beautiful you are to me."
"Is that so?" I ask him.
"I mean every word." He reassures me.
"Then have you told her about me yet?" I ask, but already knowing his answer.
"Not yet, but I plan on doing it soon. It's just that it's a delicate situation." He answers, confirming what I already knew.
Yeah, delicate. Delicate as in if he does tell her, then she will leave him and he will get stuck with me. And we can't have that now, can we? He wants to keep his angel and heaven while having a demon and hell to turn to when the angel is "too good". But maybe his demon is getting tired of being used.
You keep tellin' me, baby
There will come a time
When you will leave her arms
And forever be in mine
But I don't think that's the truth
And I don't like being used
I'm tired of waiting
It's too much pain to have to bare
To love a man you have to share.
"Well I should get going," He says. "Got to get ready for work."
"Ok," I sigh, wondering if he actually has to work today.
Hanging up the phone, I realize that I don't want to stay cooped up in my apartment all day. I grab my jacket and head downtown.
I wonder around, not knowing where my feet will lead me, only to find myself by the fountain in Town Square. Usually when I come here it is quiet and peaceful, but not today. Today it's crowded. Little kids running here and there, screaming and laughing. Parents keeping semi-close watch on them and couples walking arm in arm.
This isn't really a place for someone who is alone. Someone like me. But I like it here, crowded with people or deserted and quiet. I stay by the fountain, watching people as they live their lives, oblivious to the lives of others.
Not to sure how long I have sat here, by the water, watching. But it is probably long enough. I should probably get going. I stand to leave and that's when I see them, or more like see him.
He is walking with her, his arm interlaced with her pale one. There is such a huge smile on his face as he whispers something into her ear, earning a giggle from her pink lips. Slowly, he brushes her blond hair from her face to place a gentle kiss on her cheek. Something he has never done to me.
I must look so foolish standing here, watching their display. But how can I not just stand here, while he loves all over her? And how can I not wish it was me instead?
He stops whispering to gently kiss her lips. As he pulls away, his blue eyes meet my green ones. The shock on his face should be amusing, but it isn't. Instead it hurts, like I'm not supposed to see him with his real love.
Not knowing what else to do, I turn and run. Run from him, run from her, run from them, and run from myself. As I run, I think I hear someone call my name.
"Olette!"
I don't stop or slow down until I reach the park. It is here that I stop and fall to my knees, hugging my arms to my chest. It shouldn't hurt so much, but at the same time shouldn't it hurt more?
It should hurt more because I just witnessed the man I love with another woman. Granted that I am the "other" woman, I should still be allowed to be jealous. Jealous because he loves her more.
Kneeling in the park, I realize that I shouldn't have to be second. I shouldn't have to run from him, and he should never be kissing anyone other then me. That he should never lie about or to me. If he truly loves me like he "claims", then I should be first on his list.
Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay
I'm still kneeling when I hear someone behind me. I know its him and I wonder what he said to her to be able to come here by himself. But I don't want to face him. Not yet at least.
"Why did you run?" He asks, as it he doesn't know.
"You seriously just asked that question?" I snap back at him.
I sense him take a step back. Slowly I stand and turn to face him.
"So, you had to work today? Sure didn't look like work to me." I spit at him.
Shock is clearly written in his blue eyes. It makes me happy on a level to have been able to catch him off guard. But it surprises me when his shock turns to anger.
"So what if I didn't have to work and wanted to spend time with her? I don't have to tell you every little detail of my life." He fires back at me.
His tone of voice makes me want to run again, but I don't. He has never been this angry at me or anything that I know of. His anger just makes me want to stand my ground and fight back. I want control of this conversation or argument; I guess that would be a better term. I narrow my eyes at him.
"I'm guessing by your display back there that you haven't told her about me yet?" I ask, daring him to answer me.
He seems taken aback by my sudden change and the challenge in my eyes. I have taken a liking to him being on the defensive.
"No, I haven't," is all he has to say.
"Well if you're not going to then maybe I should. I mean by this point, she has the right to know." I suggest, turning to walk away.
Suddenly, his hand is on my arm and I'm being pulled back, and all at once I am staring into angry ice blue eyes. A shiver of fear runs through my body. Maybe threatening was the wrong move even if it was the right one.
"You wouldn't dare tell her." He growls, glaring into my eyes.
"You know," I growl back. "I would, but that is why you are going to instead. Now get your hands off me!"
I forcefully pull my arm from his grasp. Glaring at him for a couple more seconds, I realize that I still love him but I'm tired of used and jealous.
"Tell her before I do." I threaten as I walk away.
I can't take it any longer
But my will is getting stronger
And I think I know just what I have to do
I can't waste another minute
After all that I've put in it
I've given you my best
Why does she get the best of you
So the next time you find
You wanna leave her bed for mine
A couple of days earlier I would have backed down, but not today. Today I am done with this shit. Done with his shit. And most importantly I'm done with him.
I finally feel free. Like there is no heavy boulder crushing down on me, stealing the breath from my chest. I haven't felt this alive in months.
I have no idea if he will ever tell her about us, but I plan on finding out. In my mind she has the right to know what a sleaze-bag he is. And who knows, the two of us could become friends.
It's late now and I am slowly getting ready for bed. My bed seems huge and surprising, inviting. My bed hasn't even seemed inviting to me in months.
Knock Knock Knock
I halt my pillow fluffing and glance towards to door. Wondering if I should answer or pretend I am not home.
"Olette, open the door." Yells a voice on the other side of my door.
'Guess I can't pretend that I'm not home,' I think as I creep to the door.
"What do you want?" I yell through it, already knowing why he is here.
"We need to talk." Roxas states back. "Please 'Lette, just open the door."
Slowly I pull the door open. The site before my eyes should have made me extremely happy, but it makes my heart burn.
There is Roxas, head hanging, standing on my porch. Part of me wants to rush to him and hold him close. But another, stronger, part tells me to stay put.
"What do you want, Roxas?" I ask, leaning against the door frame.
"Give me another chance, 'Lette." He begs, grabbing my hands.
I pull my hands from his grasp. He is no longer allowed to touch or hold me in that or any way anymore. I am free from his intoxicating aura.
"Why should I?" I demand. "Go be with HER. She's what you really want. I was just a toy to you."
"That's not true," he tries to retaliate. "I want you."
I have waited so long to hear him say that, but it doesn't feel like I have always wished it would. It doesn't make my heart sing and fly. Instead, his words feel dull and useless.
"No you don't. Stop trying to convince yourself of that, Roxas." I tell him slowly.
"No Olette, it's the truth. I'm not trying to convince myself of something I already know. Please, Olette, I know we can make us work." He quietly states.
"STOP!" I scream. "Just Stop! There is no us, Roxas. Not anymore. I have been hurt too much in this mess and I'm sick of it."
Roxas just stares at me. His expression reminds me of how someone looks when they have just been slapped. He should have seen this coming.
"I'm done, Roxas. We're done. So go back to her and forget I exist. I am not wasting anymore time being second best. I don't have to and I won't live my life that way." I state, closing the door on him.
Slowly I slide down the door until I'm sitting on the floor, silently crying all the tears I refused to cry in front of him. Tears that tell me I'm truly free. Free to do whatever I want and free to be me. He can stay with her.
Speaking of her, I still planning on telling her. Let her decide on her own, but she still has the right to know.
But that is for another time. Now it's just me and moving on.
Why don't you stay
I'm up off my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
You can't give me what I need
When she begs you not to go
There is one thing you should know
I don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay
Mystic Space: Well there you go… Hope it wasn't too confusing, but like I said before, let me know if it was and I'll see what I can do to fix that. Anyway… if you liked, review… If you hated, review... If you were confused, review… Oh and thanks for reading.