Silence

Office of Executive Assistant Jack McCoy

Tuesday, November 19th

It was a look I'd hoped I would never have to see on the extremely pale face of my beloved fiancée and ADA Abbie Carmichael when she stepped into my office shortly after nine, interrupting my discussion with Adam. Knocking on the door jam lightly she stepped in, her right hand on the door jam, her left resting protectively over her womb where our unborn child slept.

"I can't reach Ricci." Her voice is shaky and panicked. Her fear is real and as she continues explaining how she's called and paged her and has gotten no response, my first concern is for Abbie and the desire to pull her into my arms and assure her that everything was going to be okay and Ricci was fine, safe and secure was becoming harder and harder to fight.

"Call the police." It was these three words that dragged me back into reality as Adam says them, the fear creeping into his voice, even though his face gives nothing but tiredness away. I turn to look at him, as he nods his head. I pick up the phone and dial the number for Anita VanBuren at the 27th. She answers in less than one ring.

"Toni Ricci is missing. Check the safe house." I say no more, no less. Anita knows my voice and knows where to find me. Placing the phone back into the cradle I look up at Abbie. Her face is still pale, her eyes full of worried tears and exhaustion. And still, despite the fact that Ricci is missing, my concerns are still on protecting Abbie and the baby. So we wait. Wait for Ricci to call, or VanBuren. But we wait in silence. Me behind my desk, Adam in a chair in front of it, and Abbie-numbed in silent pain and fear-in the doorway until she can no longer hold out hope and breaks, first slowly, just tears. And after I have walked over to her, placed my hand loving and supporting on her shoulder, she breaks down completely. Catching her in my embracing arms she buries her face into my white dress shirt and cries. Adam excuses himself for a moment, muttering about getting her some water, but I know it is because he knows that we need a moment to compose ourselves and a moment to sooth Abbie as only a lover can when alone with the woman he loves. Placing my lips on her temple I kiss her lovingly, muttering into her hair that we'll find Ricci and everything is going to be okay, all while she fights against me and tells me how afraid she is for Ricci and for us and the baby, and asks how we can protect a baby from all the horrible parts of our profession when we can't even protect one of our own. She has a point. Though I'd never tell her. Pulling her up onto my lap, so I can better hold her, it is this position that Adam finds us in when he returns, a box of tissues in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. He hands both over to Abbie and I before he sits down to continue to silently wait. None of us say anything, because we all know there is nothing to say, so we wait, silently staring at the phone, trying to fight the raging emotions inside. After awhile, there is nothing to do, nothing to say, and none of us dare move, fearful that the phone will ring while we are gone, so we doze, Abbie first, curled up still in my arms, our hands meeting on her womb protecting the child waiting along with us inside. Abbie is followed into sleep by Adam, who has mastered dozing sitting up straight, even in the most of uncomfortable chairs. But I wait, keeping watch over them and the phone, willing it to ring with good news, but still fearful that only bad news will reach us this night. And before I have the thought completely thought, it rings, waking everyone at once, but none of us move for it. Coming to our senses I answer.

"McCoy." It is VanBuren. And as I listen, I try to keep my poker face in check, but she meets my eyes and knows. Placing her hand across her mouth, I can see her fighting back tears. Placing the phone down gently in the cradle I look at Adam. "That was VanBuren. They found her at the safe house." I let out a sigh, and Adam knows the rest of the story. Standing he pulls on his trench coat. I help Abbie to her feet and hand her my coat which she pulls on as we enter the elevator and in silence ride down the ground floor where Adam's car is waiting for us. Climbing in I give the driver the address.

Safe House

Wednesday, November 20th

We arrive at the apartment building and go inside, seeing VanBuren and Lenny in the lobby. My usual stride is sped up and Abbie darts past Adam and catches up to me while Adam is behind us. Abbie is panicked, and as VanBuren leads us to the safe house, I take Abbie's hand and squeeze it gently in an attempt to calm her, without luck. Reaching the apartment VanBuren enters first, then Lenny, then Abbie. Adam has caught up behind us and as we walk into the room, Abbie looks right at Ricci, her face full of emotions. She turns away as Adam pushes past her and now looks at Ricci himself. He's lost in his thought so I take over. I swallow hard before I speak.

"How many assailants?" Curtis answers with "one guy." Now Adam is in charge. He's regained his composure and has stepped in front of me. Abbie is along side me, her arms crossed as she wrestles with her emotions and the hormones pregnancy is helping to stir. Her fight has not gone unnoticed to those in the room. VanBuren and Curtis watch as she covers her mouth as she tries to fight the emotions. I still long to hold her and drag her away from the bloodied sight in front of us, but I can't. Not yet. But Abbie taps herself out and excuses herself before walking out of the apartment, her eyes meeting mine as she leaves. I let her go. My concern now, briefly, must be focused on Adam. "Does she have family?" He's refusing to look at me, and continues to stare down at her, at the carnage before us. I tell him yes, her parents. He responses like I expect him to as he asks for the number. His night is far from over. Turning, I leave the apartment, stopping one last time just inside the doorway, as Adam mutters to himself. I must find Abbie and make sure she's alright. A moment later, VanBuren and Adam are standing next to me. "I need to find Abbie." VanBuren nods her head and in silence we walk down the stairs together and back to the lobby where a group of officers are standing. "Where's Briscoe?" VanBuren asks, as they point outside. Walking out as a group we find them around the corner and my heart breaks as I see Abbie hunched over throwing up and Lenny standing behind her holding her hair back and rubbing her back. I walk over and smile slightly at him. Taking over as he steps back I hand her the handkerchief from my coat pocket as she mutters a small thanks into the darkened night. Standing back up, she turns and looks at me. "I'm sorry." She whispers, as she wipes her mouth once again. "Don't be." I reply. "She was your friend. It's okay." We walk back over to the car where Adam is waiting. His face tells us it's time to go and reminds me that he still has a phone call to make this evening. We climb back in, Abbie first, then Adam, then me. Our timing is perfect. As I close the door, the Medical Examiner's men are walking down the stairs with two cots. One of them is Ricci.