Jac watched the lightly falling rain from the bedroom window. The moon shone in the night sky and illuminated the droplets as they cascaded past the murky glass. She took care not to make a sound; Guy was lying in the bed behind her, snoring with his arms wrapped around where she had been just moments before.

Jac raised a pale finger to her temple and felt the newly-formed bruise. She winced as a jolt of pain shot through her head but she did not make a sound. It was only a bruise and like all bruises it would fade in time. Until then it was easily covered with makeup. Jac took a deep breath and walked gingerly back towards the bed. She climbed under the covers and lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling. She didn't sleep, she just kept staring and in her chest, her heartbeat slowed. It was only a few hours until morning and she felt trapped. She was trapped. More trapped than she had ever been before in her life and as she stared, she could see no way out. No escape.

There was a grunt beside her and Jac looked down to watch as Guy rolled over in his sleep. He looked so peaceful as his chest rose up and down in time with his snores.

'Nothing is worth this,' Jac whispered aloud. She closed her eyes and attempted to force her body into sleep. But the moment her eyelids shut, dark thoughts floated around her fragile mind and Jac found herself reliving memories she had long since buried deep beneath the surface. Her fists clenched underneath the duvet as her breathing grew shallower but she still could not sleep. Her eyes flickered open and she turned her head to watch the window again.

'Ms. Naylor?' A figure swam into focus in front of Jac's bleary eyes and she saw that it was a frightened F1 student staring at her for advice. As soon as she registered this, Jac could feel the eyes of every person in the room burning into her.

'What?' The F1 staggered away from her, evidently afraid that he was about to be Naylored.

'You were explaining your diagnosis-' the F1 began but he fell silent as a flash of anger shot across Jac's eyes.

'I know,' Jac barked. 'As I was saying, Mrs. Richards symptoms can only point to one thing and that is?' She looked around at the expectant students. None of them dared speak. 'Is this a game or are you all suddenly mute?' They shook their heads in unison whilst some mumbled apologies. 'Apologies are meaningless. I want action.' She turned and stared directly at the student who had spoken before. 'You.'

'Me?' The student stammered, pointing at his chest.

'No, I'm talking to the poster of a human cross-section behind you. Of course I meant you. Although, now that I come to think of it, perhaps the poster would be able to give me a more accurate answer than any of you are managing.' She could see the student's legs trembling and she knew it wasn't his fault but none of that mattered. She needed some way to vent her anger and these students were the perfect target practice.

'Erm,' the student began.

'Erm? What is erm?' Jac snapped back. 'By the time you've managed to spit out your diagnosis, Mrs. Richards will be halfway on her way to the morgue -' There was an anguished cry behind her. 'Just an example, Mrs. Richards,' Jac said, waving her hand in the patient's direction. 'Right, get on with it - I haven't got all day.' The student cleared his throat and took a deep breath; Jac could see the blush on his cheeks and the sweat forming on his brow.

'The…the symptoms would suggest a…' He trailed off into silence.

'Would suggest? Come on HO!'

'Would…would suggest a…I don't know. I'm sorry, Ms. Naylor.' Jac sighed. The boy was lucky, Jac thought. Lucky that she was too tired to wither him with a single practiced look.

'The symptoms would suggest a myocardial infarction,' Jac finished. 'Really this is basic stuff. My daughter -' Jac stopped. It was painful to think of Emma. 'Right I want a five thousand word essay from each of you on the ways of identifying myocardial infarctions and the most appropriate ways of treating a patient presenting with all those symptoms.' She looked around the room at each of them. In the far corner a hand shot up and waved in her direction. 'Go on,' Jac said wearily.

'When do you want it by?'

'First thing tomorrow morning.' At once she could hear the murmurs of dissent spreading from one student to the next.

'But we've got ward rounds all day,' the girl with the waving hand protested.

'Then I suggest you pull an all-nighter,' Jac replied and they knew from her tone that they would find no sympathy here. 'Cardiothoracic medicine is not easy,' Jac told them. 'It will take everything from you but if you have the gumption and the desire to succeed then it will reward more than it takes.' She paused. Every student's gaze was fixed upon her and she was pleased to see that they were all listening intently. 'First thing, tomorrow morning.' They nodded albeit with a fair few whispered grumbles. 'Go!'

Jac stared into the bathroom mirror, inspecting her temple. She couldn't see the bruise but she could still feel it. It hurt more now than it had the previous night but Jac would just have to bear it. There was nothing she could do. Her hands ventured towards the taps and she was about to turn them on when the door creaked open behind her.

'Jac.' Jac wheeled around immediately and found herself face to face with Guy.

'This is the ladies,' Jac said impassively.

'I was looking for you,' Guy replied and his lips curled into an unfeeling smile.

'It looks like you found me,' said Jac. She wanted nothing more than to walk past him but Guy was blocking the only exit.

'I was hoping you hadn't forgotten your presentation at four o'clock.' Jac's heart skipped a beat.

'I hadn't,' she said after a fairly long pause.

'You see it's four o'clock now and the funny thing is, you're here and not at that presentation,' Guy's eyes were boring into hers now but Jac was determined not to let him win.

'I wasn't feeling myself,' Jac told him. It was true, she had been feeling under the weather all day but that was no doubt due to the increased lack of sleep she had been getting in recent weeks.

'They're waiting for you upstairs.' Guy stepped aside to allow her to pass but as Jac began to walk towards the door, he grabbed the top of her arm and twisted her around until her face was inches away from his. Jac could smell whiskey on his breath and her stomach churned. 'If you ever make me look like an idiot again,' Guy whispered dangerously. 'I will make your life a living hell.' Jac said nothing. 'Do you understand me?'

'Yes,' Jac muttered bitterly. Guy let go of her arm and watched as Jac disappeared as fast as she could from the bathroom. Her arm was burning but it was hidden beneath the frills of her shirt.

'As you can see, the projected financial growth for Darwin Ward would sustain the entire hospital for at least another five years,' Jac finished and folded her arms, waiting for the lukewarm applause to finally die out completely. 'Any questions?' There was a shuffling in the nearest seat and Jac watched as the Chairman of the Board, Angus Farrell cleared his throat.

'This is fascinating, Ms. Naylor,' Angus said softly. 'But are you sure you've done your calculations correctly?'

'What do you mean?' Jac replied, looking at Angus without blinking.

'You claim that your project could sustain the entire hospital for five years.'

'I did.'

'Well, forgive me if I fail to see how that is possible.' Jac sighed. She had expected this from Angus.

'Well as you can see from this chart,' Jac flicked back a couple of slides on her presentation. 'The revenue gained from this project would be quadruple what Holby City already receives from the Herzig 5.'

'I'm sorry, you've lost me,' Angus said, smiling. 'How exactly do you know that your project will be four times as successful as Professor Hope's Herzig?'

'I wasn't aware that confidence was deemed a failing,' Jac shot back.

'No, confidence isn't. Over-confidence, well that's a different matter entirely.' Jac's patience was beginning to wear thin with this facade and her shift had already finished over half an hour ago. 'The concept is a good one, Ms. Naylor,' Angus conceded.

'But?' Jac prompted. Angus cleared his throat again.

'But I'm afraid this trust cannot fund it. Not at its current level of development.' Anger flared throughout Jac's body, her ears were glowing red and she wanted nothing more than to wipe the smile from Angus' smarmy face. But Jac contained herself. She merely smiled and nodded back at him.

'I will keep working on it,' Jac told them.

'I'm glad to hear it,' said Angus. 'As I mentioned, the concept itself is a good one. It just needs a little more work.'

'Thank you.'

'Right, well I think that's about it for today,' Angus announced to the rest of the room. Jac waited and watched as the board members gathered their belongings and headed for the door. Her laptop was still plugged in and the presentation blared on the projector.

The rest of the room was silent leaving Jac alone with her thoughts.

There was an envelope waiting for Jac on her bedside table when she got back to the house that evening. She could hear Guy cooking in the kitchen but she didn't feel like greeting him. Instead, Jac tiptoed up to their bedroom and her eyes soon fell upon the envelope. It's cream colouring glinted slightly in the fading light and Jac recognised the handwriting scrawled across it.

She peeled it open carefully and pulled out the letter inside. Unfolding the paper, Jac began to read.

Dear Jac,

I'm sorry I haven't written to you before now. Emma is enjoying her stay with her aunt very much and the weather in Edinburgh has been fairly warm these past few days. We went to the park yesterday and Emma had great fun looking at all the different plants.

Anyway, I'll keep this brief. She misses you, Jac.

See you soon,

Jonny.

Jac closed the letter with a snap and tossed it aside. She didn't want to think about Emma, not now. She hated Jonny for what he had tried to do and she hated him even more now for how he still kept trying to include her in Emma's life. As far as Jac was concerned, she had forfeited her right to be Emma's mother when she said goodbye to the pair of them at that airport. It all seemed such a long time ago but in reality it had only been a few months.

It had been a relief for her when Jonny had announced he was taking two weeks off to take Emma on holiday to Edinburgh so that she could meet and spend time with her aunt. But Jac couldn't say anything and every day that Jonny was on the ward, he would talk about Emma and everything she had done. Her insides burned every time she heard her daughter's name but she had no right to feel that way.

Jac climbed on top of the duvet and lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling. Jonny's letter was still visible in the corner of her eye. Jac rolled over away from it and closed her eyes. Her chest rose up and down as sleep overcame her at last.