Disclaimer: I still do not own Naruto, though I'm trying to invent a machine that can transport me into the Narutoverse. This story, the plot, Kazumi and all other OC's that may or may not pop up belongs to me. Don't mess with them, folks.

Warning: None really, besides a few death threats and a few bad words.

Rating: T

Note: This one-shot is about Kazumi (duh) going on her first date and all the mayhem that may evoke. Kazumi is fiften in this chapter and Kenta is seventeen. I don't know exactly where in the timeline this is set but it takes place in the Narutoverse.

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Amari Kazumi loved her family very much, she forcefully reminded herself as she smiled an apologizing smile to the young man standing in front of her who'd invited her on a date that very same evening. Behind her was her father, Kisame and Hidan, glaring menacingly down their noses at the young man, who'd broken into a sweat at their evil antics.

"You better not touch her at all, pipsqueak." Kisame growled at the younger male who paled at the promised threat behind his words.

"You fucking touch her and you will be fucking pissing like a bitch for the rest of your fucking life." Hidan pitched in and let some killing intent leak from him.

As if the poor guy wasn't close to a heart attack before, he certainly was now. He slowly – and very hesitantly – moved his eyes to the tall, dark-skinned male that was undoubtedly the father of his date. His lips were set in a thin line, even though the male couldn't see that for the mask that covered his face. His entire posture was a telltale sign of his disapproving of him.

"You break her heart and those two idiots beside me, will be the least of your problems." Kakuzu told his daughter's date, his voice grave and serious. "No one will be able to find you, ever, if so much as a hair on her head is hurt."

At this point the guy – whose name was Kenta or some unimportant shit like that – could feel his heart beating fast and painfully against his ribcage. Kazumi clasped her hands together and bid her family goodbye with a peck of her lips on each of their chins and just as Kenta thought he could escape, a shrill voice carried through the house and out the door. Kazumi positively deflated like a balloon at the sound of her name.

"Kazumiiii …" the shrill voice called in an almost otherworldly tone.

The sound made Kenta's blood freeze in his veins, when a very feminine looking blonde guy suddenly appeared in the doorframe, pushing the three others aside in order to get to the fifteen-year-old girl, ignoring the youth beside her. The single greyish-bluish eye visible was shiny with tears and he was biting down on a napkin in his hand.

"You can't leeeave meeee, Kazumiiii." The guy wailed as his taller frame nearly melted against the girl.

"Dei-nii …" Kazumi deadpanned as she shot Kenta embarrassed glances.

"Whyyy are you leaving me, un?" the guy called Dei-whatever whined.

Kazumi rolled her eyes and looked around the shoulder of the blonde at the three others. Kenta followed her eyes and noticed three more newcomers and he adopted a blank look as his eyes swept over a lollipop-masked man, a man with a face so devoid of any expression, he could make a rock cry, and a redhead with hazel colored eyes and a bored look on his face.

Kazumi was about to say something, when the guy with the expressionless face held a hand up to stop her from saying anything. He turned his coal colored eyes on Kenta, seizing the younger male up. A small smugly looking smirk appeared on the man's face though it took a couple of seconds longer for Kenta recognize the expression.

"72 hours of torture if I hear you disgraced her." The man said and for a moment, Kenta swore that he could see a flash of red instead of the blackness in the man's eyes.

As if it was completely normal to threaten another human the way he had just done – the way they had all done – he nodded once at the male and retreated back into the house, disappearing from sight. The redhead smiled at Kenta, who shivered at the menace leaking from the shorter guy.

"I could use a new puppet." He informed Kenta and the mysterious sentence had Kenta even more on edge.

"Tobi thinks Baka-kun shouldn't be a bad boy and make Kazumi-chan cry." The masked lollipop-face chirped and Kenta almost sighed in relief at the sound of someone who did not threaten him … that is until lollipop-face bounced towards him. "Tobi is very good at making things disappear, Baka-kun."

The guy tilted his head slightly to his right and that last sentence contradicted the happy-go-lucky aura around the masked man. With a bounce in his step he too retreated back into the house with the redhead following, after said redhead forced the blonde to let go of the young girl and dragged him with him. At first, the blonde kept wailing and then he began screaming obscurities about him not even being worth turning into a piece of art but he would blow him to pieces anyway.

Kazumi let out a shaky breath as she sent the three men in the doorframe a strained smile and quickly grabbed him by his arm and positively dragged him after him. The killingintent spiked at the touch and Kenta wondered whether or not he could come out of this encounter with the beautiful girl by his side, alive.

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The silence had become kind of awkward after him meeting his family back at her place and when they arrived at the small restaurant he'd planned they would eat at, it had gotten so uncomfortable, that the waiters was sending them strange looks. As they sat down in front of a window, a waiter came and mutely handed them the menu as she disappeared again.

At last, Kenta had gotten fed up with the awkwardness of the unexpected family meeting and threat, and raked his brain for anything to lighten up the mood. He faked a cough into his hand and she looked up with those strange and unique eyes he found so enthralling.

"Your family seems very …" his voice broke as he tried to find the right word, without insulting anyone. " … uh … protective of you."

So far so good, the young man thought and even saw a small, but without any doubt, fond smile on her face as her family entered her thoughts.

"Very." She agreed but the softness of her voice wasn't to be mistaken. "They meant it well, you know. Don't think too much about what they said. They didn't mean it." She added in the same soft tone.

"It's okay, Kazumi-chan." He was quick to assure her, although he didn't quite believe her when she said they didn't mean it. "They're your family." He added lamely as if that had been an excuse for threatening him.

She smiled softly at him and tugged a strand of curly, dark brown hair behind her ear and bit her lip as she skimmed the menu. He watched her with a goofy smile and when she looked up at him, he quickly averted his eyes, pretending to read the menu.

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Back at base, Akatsuki was gathered in the living room, impatiently awaiting the return of Zetsu to find out what had transpired between their little girl and that damned brat who would probably seduce and hurt their princess.

When the plant man finally appeared, he was grinning wickedly as he eyed the gathered members.

"You guys gave the boy quite the scare." The white side of Zetsu informed them with the snickering of black Zetsu as background music. "He was nervous during the entire date and was hesitant to even touching her by accident." Black Zetsu snickered.

A sound of relief echoed throughout the room, when they noticed the even more wicked smirk on Zetsu. They narrowed their eyes at the bipolar man and a sense of dread filled every single one of them.

"He kissed her though." Black Zetsu said and managed to make it sound as if he was taunting them.

It took a full minute and a half before chaos erupted. Hidan began shrieking profanities and swinging his scythe around, Kisame unwrapped Samehada with a animalistic sounding growl, Itachi began to furiously sharpen his weapons, Deidara brought forth his C4-clay, Sasori found his scrolls containing all his puppets, Tobi's single eye glinted red and Kakuzu … Kakuzu looked ready to murder the boy in the most horrifying way possible.

How dared that little piece of shit place his stinky, slimy, ugly ass lips on his daughter?

That boy was dead meat.

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Hello lovelies.

First, my muses for the other stories have been brutally killed and I am currently trying to bring them back to life but it isn't going well right now. No, they will NOT be abandoned - none of my stories will - I just can't write more than a few words whenever I try to. I feel horrible for doing this to you guys, especially because I hate to disappoint you ...

Just know that the stories will be finished. That goes for ALL of them. However, I will try and see if writing one-shots for this baby right here will help my muses back to life.

Second, this story is made up from one-shots. As the title so blatantly say, these one-shots are memories (or something). It will range widely between all the ratings and I will put the rating for the chapter up with the 'disclaimer' and that.

The place of the one-shots ranges between our world and the Narutoverse.

I don't know what more to say other than I'm working on those chapters for the other stories.

Review, please. Your support is very much appreciated and loved.