The boys, having just escaped Mr. Garrison's class, headed to the cafeteria to see what "food" the school was dealing that day. Upon arrival at the table they realised that there were only three free seats and the group looked at each other with the obvious realisation that there are four of them (one more than there were seats).

"Sorry Kenny" said Stan.

They all sat down except for Kenny who gave them an icy glare and then walked away disappointed. As they ate, Stan's girlfriend Wendy approached the table.

"Hey, Stan, I notice you haven't spoken to me in a while, is everything alright."

"Everything's fine", he responded in a matter-of-fact tone.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to come to the library with me and study"

"As tempting as studying sounds, I'm kinda eating with my friends now. Maybe another time, possibly"

"Oh, alright, I see", she said and looked down in a familiar look of disappointment.

Kenny sat at another table with Butters, although he didn't mind since he and Butters were sort of unspoken best friends. Butters had on occasion said that Kenny was the only one in the school he actually liked and Kenny felt like the only one who was willing to tolerate his unnerving child-like innocence that he respected.

"You know Kenny, I sure am glad you're here", Butters told him.

"Mmmm-mm", Kenny mumbled unintelligibly, although everyone in the world seemed to understand what he was saying.

Kenny pointed to the bathroom and looked at Butters. Butters nodded in return to allow him to go. Kenny briefly left. No sooner had he closed the bathroom door behind him did Butters begin to miss him, especially when he began choke. His face turned red and he began hammering the lunch table with his fist. After several seconds of nobody noticing, Kyle said,

"Dude, I think Butters is choking!"

"What are we supposed to do again?" responded Cartman.

"We've got to give him the Heimlich manoeuvre"

"What's that?"

Kyle stood behind Cartman to show him and began demonstrating it on him.

"Get off me dude, you're going to make people think I'm gay doing that to me"

Unbeknownst to them, in the background, Kenny had returned to find Butters nearing suffocation as the others argued of the homosexuality of the motion. Kenny was undeterred by the opinion of a group who didn't care about him and swiftly saved Butters' life. Offering a friendly hand to rest on his shoulder.

"Dude", said Cartman to Kenny, "That looked gay"

Kenny flipped him off and him and Butters skipped hand-in-hand through a field of long grass towards the sunset. That should show Cartman he doesn't know what he's talking about.

While Cartman was under the impression that performing "sexually suggestive" actions with another boy would get you mocked, the others in the class, especially the girls, did not share his sentiments and Kenny quickly became a folk-hero among the school, to Cartman's chagrin. Kyle couldn't help but notice the way Wendy in particular was looking at him. Smiling as she rested her chin in her hands with her elbows on the desk and she stopped to brush her hair away from her eyes when Kenny glanced over, which he did often and Kyle was only just noticing.

With the four boys sitting at the lunch table again, like old times, Cartman continued to mock Kenny when Wendy came over to the table.

"I don't really feel like studying today Wendy, can we do this another time?" Stan said without looking up from his comic book.

"Relax Stan, I'm not here to talk to you, I'm here to talk to Kenny"

"Mmm?!" said Kenny.

"So Kenny", she began, "Do you want to go and study?"

Stan, still reading, did a brief double take and noticed Kenny looking at him in anticipation of his response while Wendy stood behind Kenny smiling with equal eagerness.

"You can go study with her Kenny, you don't need my permission", he blurted out before returning to his book.

"Great!" she exclaimed, "C'mon Kenny, let's go"

The two went off excitedly. A slightly nervous Kyle asked Stan,

"Aren't you worried that Kenny's going to steal your girlfriend?"

"Not really"

Only a few days later, Wendy came to talk to Stan,

"Stan, I'm breaking up with you"

"What, why?" he said in shock.

"You keep ignoring me and I'm fed up of it – and Kenny's fed up of it too"

"But Kenny never talks!"

"He talks to me, and I talk to him and he listens because he knows what it's like to get ignored. It's nothing against you, you just need to know what it feels like before you'll learn your lesson"

"But Wendy, please don't do this. I can't bear it"

"There, you're starting to get it already"

Stan went and tried to reason with Kenny.

"Kenny, I need to talk to you"

Kenny mumbled what Stan barely made out as "Oh, now you want to talk to me?"

"Yes Kenny, look I'm sorry"

"Mmm-mm"

"What do you mean you've always had a crush on her? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Mm-m"

"You did? How many times? That many? Wow, you're right, I really don't listen to you"

The group arrived in class the next day to discover Kenny didn't wait to be snuffed out of the group, he had already arrived early (as Wendy did every day) and was sitting next to her. Meaning Token had to take the seat next to Cartman.

"Lame", he said as he tried to shuffle his table away from him.

"Don't blame Kenny", said Kyle to Stan, "It was your own fault"

After class, Stan and the other two left the school and entered the playground outside to find that Wendy sat on the bench while all the girls stood around her. When Stan got closer to see what was going on he saw that Kenny was on one knee in front of her with his guitar playing and mumbling the words to "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton. Stan was too stunned to be angry as Kenny played the romantic licks so beautifully. Stan was already aware of Kenny's musical abilities having seen him get perfect score on "Crazy Train" on Guitar Hero, only a few hours before he overdosed at the celebratory party, a tragedy nobody could remember. As the girls stood back at the end of the song, a blushing Wendy and Kenny noticed Stan watching them. Stan merely looked back at them in contempt and walked away looking annoyed. It was unfortunate that Stan couldn't see how much Kenny felt bad for him - but not guilty though.

He knew not to look back because all he'd see is them kissing and he didn't want to see that, it'd only make him angry.

"Aw dude, look", Cartman said, "She just licked his face"

Stan couldn't help but turn around and see Kenny and Wendy blushing with both embarrassment and happiness, as if to say "I can't believe you just did that". A romantic gesture that did exactly what Stan knew it'd do and his jealous side flared up inside him. He picked a stick, not a big one but solid enough to hurt him without doing serious or long-lasting injury. As he stormed towards Kenny who was too busy laughing with the others to notice, he swung and was surprised to see Kenny spin around and catch the stick in his hand like a ninja.

"Oh, you shouldn't have done that", said Wendy.

Stan looked in Kenny's eyes but they were blank, Stan stared dumbfounded at his expressionless face as Kenny tossed Stan several feet over his shoulder and into the jungle gym with absolutely no effort. Stan was confused but got back up and tried to punch Kenny several times only for Kenny to deflect every one with one hand casually at his side. Kenny jumped up into the air and spun around a full circle and kicked Stan a full yard backwards onto his back.

"Stan, I was trying to tell you Kenny's a martial arts master. You know how Chuck Norris got beaten by Bruce Lee in that one movie? Well, Kenny killed Bruce Lee."

Stan had a worried look on his face, "My God, he's invincible then!"

Kenny came over and reached his hand out to help Stan up. Stan angrily rebuffed this offer and swiped his hand away. Getting up, he began to walk away. Wendy stopped him and said,

"Even if you had won, what made you think I would be impressed?"

Stan couldn't think of what to say and just left. With his hands in his pockets and his head down, Kenny pitied him as he disappeared into the distance but Stan knew he had to swallow his pride and ask for help.

Stan sat on a chair outside God's office. The angel secretary at the reception signalled for him to go in.

"Stan Marsh, the lord almighty will see you now"

Stan went in and sat in a chair facing God's desk.

"God, why didn't you answer when I prayed earlier?"

"What, you think I can hear you from all the way up here? If you want my help you have to do your own work and come up here yourself"

"Can you help me now?"

"Sure, what's the problem?"

"My girlfriend left me for somebody else"

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Can't you make her fall in love with me again?"

"But Stan, she doesn't want to be with you right now."

"Rub it in, why don't you?"

"If I do that then she'll be with you against her own will, you'd be forcing her to be with you. And isn't that technically rape?"

"I guess. Well, what can you do?"

"Stan, if you can't figure out what she wants yourself maybe you should consider giving her up to someone who does."

"I see", he sighed.

Stan lay in bed that night, preparing to tell Wendy the next day that he would let her be with Kenny and he would support them. That night, after he eventually got to sleep he dreamed of Wendy and all the good times they had together that he would miss. It was when he got up the next day that he knew what he would do.

School hadn't started yet and everybody stood outside the front doors of the school. Stan arrived and stood with the sunrise behind him like a scene out of a western and he looked ready. He began his walk towards the pair, Kenny was the first to notice Stan coming towards them but he didn't say anything. Stan confidently went over to Wendy and she turned to look at him. Kenny took a step back to give them space and allow them to talk. Stan relaxed as he saw Wendy was not unhappy to see him and didn't seem to be judging him prematurely for what he did yesterday.

"Wendy?"

"Yeah, Stan?"

Stan paused as he realised the whole school was watching, he turned to see literally the entire town inexplicably crowded around the gates watching in anticipation. He turned to see a camera man filming a man from the emergency broadcast channel that transmits to every TV in the world.

"I regret to inform you all that a large meteorite has been spotted heading for Earth and…hey wait, Joe, get this kid over here, I want to see what happens"

The aliens sat in their homes watching the ridiculously popular 'Earth' reality TV show and all one trillion of them were watching Stan to see what he would say.

"So – how are you doing today? Are you alright?"

"What are you doing Stan?"

"I'm asking you about your day, I'm interested in you, all the things you said I wasn't before, well now I am because I care about you and now I'm showing it."

"Stan…" she began before Stan interrupted her.

Stan grabbed her and kissed her, this time without vomiting over her. Without words, Wendy kissed him back and the two hugged and everyone applauded, even the aliens hugged in rejoice at Stan's victory. Stan and Wendy stopped, still holding each other, they looked at Kenny, waiting to see what he would say.

"Mmm-mm-mmm"

"What?"

Kenny took off his hood that was muffling his speech and everyone saw his long, messy, blond hair. He was smiling.

"I said; it's alright Stan. You deserve her, buddy"

"Thanks dude", Stan said. The two smiled back at him and held each other tighter.

Wendy asked worriedly, "What are you going to do now"

"Something"

The bell rang and Stan and Wendy walked into the school holding her hand rather than separately like he used to. Kenny just stood there,

"Well I guess that'll be that then"

Bebe walked over to him and anxiously asked him,

"Since you're not busy with Wendy, do you want to do something together later?"

Something. Exactly what he said he'd do.

"Okay"

The pair held hands and walked back into the school as "Beautiful Day" by U2 played in the background and the sun rose over the horizon and the imaginary credits rolled.

I hope you enjoyed the story. I wanted it to be more similar to the show than actual fanfiction and I hope I did Kenny justice. Please review and let me know what you think.