Lorelai's POV

I walked into the kitchen after apologizing to Luke for ditching him fro painting the Diner.

Christopher was getting a mug of coffee.

Where were you?

Fruitlessly trying to rectify a ratty transgression.

Oh. You want some coffee?

No.

What?

What?

I know you. When you say no to coffee, especially in the morning, all's not right in Whoville.

Very astute.

So… last night.

Last night was Chernobyl and the Hindenburg combined.

Right, just checking.

My father almost hit someone. My father has probably hit another man in college wearing boxing gloves and one of Fred Mertz golden gloves pullover sweaters.

Fred Mertz?

I Love Lucy- Fred Mertz.

I know. It's just a weird reference.

.

Right. Continue.

My father had a meltdown first with your father…

He was asking for it.

… And then with then,you and me- Oh,boy.

Don't say it like that.

Stupid. Dumb.

Much better.

And then to top off the whole fabulous fiasco, I stood up a friend who was counting on me, and he just stood there looking hurt with the paint and the chairs, and it hurt me. It isn't your fault, but in this parade of stupid and dumb, I'm the one twirling the flaming baton.

Lore?

What?

I want to marry you.

And the hits just keep on coming.

Just think about it before you make a rash-

You're out of your mind. You're completely insane. You've flipped your Manson's freaked out by you right now!

Come on, we're already a family.

Who? Who's a family?

Us. You,Me, and Rory.

You don't even know what a family is.

People living together.

No! It's a big commitment. It's a responsibility. It's hard work. It's coming home at the same time to the same place everyday!

Okay. So what do you want, financial statements? I can be a family man. I'm responsible now.

Honey, you can't even buy a book without having your credit card declined.

I told Rory not to rat me out. I can't believe she did that.

She didn't. Andrew from the bookstore called and Jackson and the UPS guy and oh, it's the lead story on the Stars Hollow webpage. And then I asked Rory, and she reluctantly confirmed it.

Rat me out. What are you, 16?

I'm sorry.

And what are you doing telling my daughter to lie to me anyway?

She's my daughter too.

More like your playmate.

You know what, I don't deserve that. I'm as mature as you.

What? The offspring is your favorite band.

So? You're into Metallica.

Well, Metallica is way more substantial than the Offspring.

Here we go again. It's the same black sabbath riff all over again.

The Offspring have, like, one chord progression. They use it over and over. They just pop on new words and call it a single. And I don't wanna talk about this anymore!

I'm the irresponsible one,Look, I was the one willing to get married when you got pregnant.

We were too young. We wouldn't have made it. You know that.

Well, we aren't too young now.

Okay,now I need some coffee.

What about last night? What did our having sex mean to you?

I sighed.

It meant that Jose Cuervo still has amazing magical powers.

You're funny.

We can't get married, Christopher. We don't even know each other as adults.

Let's get married and get to know each other as adults.

That's very Fiddler On The Roof of you.

Let's get to know each other. What do you want to know?