I had seen water before, but nothing like this. The sun peeks over the shining, reflective water; dyeing the sky in warm colours. I stand on sparkling white sand, shifting under my toes. Rugged cliffs on the edges of the beach tower over the sea. The sea. That's what this is called. Sea.
"Eren, In the book they called it an ocean too! An amazing large body of water! One day I'll surely see it!" My chest heaves and I fall to my knees.
Armin. Oh, Armin...
We used to sit close to the river banks, near the bridge. He had his beloved book in front of him. He read and fantasized; I listened in a trance and, though stoic, Mikasa sat onto the side, but she was having the same dreams Armin and I were. No doubt.
Mikasa, why did you have to go…?
I wail, a wail that disturbs the peaceful morning. Birds fly, vacating their trees and critters on the ground scurry away.
Armin and Mikasa. My two best friends. They are gone... If only my titan powers could bring them back. Please come back, please? Ugh, why did those shitstains have to die!
Tears like gems trickle down my face. I put all my strength into a punch, I hit the soft, hard sand.
There's a sudden flash; and outward drive of air and thin, white steam.
No. Oh holy shit, no! A fist far larger than my body grows from my arm. A- a titan fist. Titans. Titans were the ones that took them away…
I attempt to pry my arm out of the fist- my fist. This is my curse, the curse my father inflicted on me. The curse that saved us. But not them. Not my friends.
I collapse, I can't get out of the fist. I can't save my friends, I can't do anything.
In the end, they lived. The selfish, cruel fuckers who contributed to the the murders of the good and brave, just to save their asses.
Eventually, the light skin evaporates, the hard muscle, the ivory coloured bones. All that's left is me, lying on my back, staring at the now golden sky. I strain to turn my head towards the sea. The waves were calm, but uncontrollable. They rose and fell, I heard that they could snatch you and pull you into the deep. The sky shone gold, in colours similar to Armin, Historia and Reiner's hair. Even the clouds' lining was grey, like Mikasa's eyes…
No!
That's enough I can't think of them. I have a job to do. I stare at the sea again, procrastinating and delaying the execution of my duty, the task I have to complete. The task of letting go.
Armin once told me a story he learned from one of his books. About a mermaid.
"She had wished to become human, to walk on the land…" Armin had read in a slow stuttering voice. He had trouble reading then but he still read us those stories. Before his books were found and burned…
At the end of the story, the mermaid killed herself. Instead of becoming nothing, she became an air spirit. She lived on and watched the world, she became free.
"Bullshit! Air spirits!? Armin, Eren, have you been hit in the head!?" Horse-face would say with a chuckle.
I grit my teeth and wince, there's no good dwelling on the past.
"Are you free?" I say to the air spirits, that may or may not be there. Maybe that's where they all are, the ones on our side, the ones that weren't. My friends, they could be air spirits, they may be living on.
Hanji would want to learn how their flying worked, Corporal Rivaille would fly through the skies, faster than anyone, Mikasa would be on his heels. They'd fly like they were using 3DMG. The others would love it too. I kick the dirt, deranged anger coursing through my veins.
If they could look down at us, maybe they saw the defeat of the titans- well, the near defeat. Humanity was almost finished with the titans, but I know, with utmost certainty, that it will all be over. But, if they could see, maybe they knew that we did it. We blocked the hole in the wall, we found the contents of my Shiganshina basement, we did it. There's only one last task.
I tie a note to a large boulder. Removing my shirt, I head towards the sea, wade up to my shoulders and float. The waves are cold and they cradle me, like a mother cradles her child or a coffin cradles its corpse. I look up and hope that my friends see me. They will know that it was I that sealed humanity's fate. It was I, Eren Jaeger that conducted the human race's victory.
I shout to release my anger. A shout that will be remembered by the air spirits, for they are the only witnesses. I whisper all my dear friend's names. Bittersweet bliss.
I grin as I hold a knife to my neck and kill the very last titan.