Ode to The Joy of Annoying Edward Cullen With MercyFul Fear
"MercyFul want some candy?"Lythia said pulling out her secret stash of candy from all her trick-or-treating, Valentine's and other candy giving days.
"Yes! Yes yes yes! Candy candy candy! Gimme, gimme!!!"MercyFul Fear grabbed a handful of candy,pealed and stuffed the candy in her mouth faster then any speeding bullet.
"MercyFul we got to go to the weekly-MercyFul! What are you eating?"Mademise asked seeing MercyFul with a mouth full of colorful something.
"Kwaandy."MercyFul said careful not to spit her sweets.
"Who gave it to you, but no not who...Shouldn't you know better?"Mademise said stepping closer anger very clear on her face.
"Wnope, mwee wimwresponsible."MercyFul said grinning the best she could.
"I'm sorry I gave her candy." Lythia said blinking her eyes sighed and plumped on the couch.
"Just watch her in a few seconds she will be more mad then before. If that is possible."Mademise said as MercyFul started to vibrate almost.
"Hehehehehehe! Edward Cullen looks so sullen, Skulduggery Pleasant has an ego and Artemis Fowl is so wow! Skulduggery Pleasant and Artemis Fowl are so smart and awesomely cool, when they walks I drool!"MercyFul started to sing."Valkyrie Cain isn't at all lame, Lady Gaga is insane and Bella Swan is so blach! Ghastly Bespoke is buff, Tanith Low kicks but and Crux sucks! Johnny Deep is hot, Teletubies is on and Barney is here with a chain saw!Dimitri Belivok is my gaurd what a sweet heart, Rose Hathaway get out of my way and Rosaline Cullen is a tard! Jack Skellington is awesome, Stephen King is death and Steven Spielberg is whoa! Tim Burton rules, Sally is put together and I only say to them 'What ever! Lala la la duh duh duh duh la mu mu ma ma la la thi thu la la lu la mama lal al aal. Dudaduda du da du tum tum tumity tum. Heheheheh! Fanfiction is so fun but everyone acts like I'm dumb, no reviews and writer's block kill me swiftly! I don't like Taylor Swifty and she is pretty shifty! Cheater and a bad influence! Tumity tum tum, lal al alala! Bad romance, pup pup pokerface! Muma muma! I want your ugly I want your disease! Pap pap papparazi! Will Smith was in I,robot, Shia Lebouf and Megan Fox were in Transformers! I got a crush on Bumblebee, Imma Be Imma Be by the Black Eyed Peas! B-A-R-B-I-E barbie girl! Isn't fantastic we're made out of plastic, come on Barbie let's have a vodka party! Rihianna is crazy, Kanye West doesn't like Taylor Swift! Lady Gaga and Ludacris should be cool, Skulduggery I dyed your cloth neon blue! Blah blah blah with your blah blah blah! I get up in the morning feeling like P Diddy going to hit the city and brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack because tonight I'm not coming back! Tick tock by Kesha and Blah blah blah!I cracked the code to Artemis Fowl with only the first book, so don't take a second look! Twilight sucks, and I told you the name to the duck! Fletcher Renn your annoying and a moron! Hey soul sister when you-ooh Disturbia darkness into light-This is Halloween this is Halloween! Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut Butter jelly time! You make me better,faster,stronger,better! I've been traveling on this road so long-All the single ladies all the singel ladies!Let me transfomer ya, into a cadilac and back! Wasted, I don't wear jeans like the white boy but I get wasted like the white boy! Woman lie men lie woman lie men lie! Shortys like a melody-everyone is looking for love isn't the reason your at this club! Baby baby baby ooh baby baby baby ooh- I tell you one time! I'm only going to br-bre-break break your heart!'"MercyFul started to scream and run around the house.
"Don't be so surprised."Mademise said dully when she saw the face on Lythia.
"No she's fine."Lythia said twitching when she heard a big clash of metal in the kitchen.
"I want peanut butter! But all you have is jelly! This is unfair!" MercyFul screamed loudly,throwing everything in the fridge on the floor."Fletcher front and center!"MercyFul screamed and in seconds,being very scared of her,he was right infront of her. She calmed herself a little.
"Yes Master Fear?"Fletcher said wearing his butler addressed cloths.
"You do know that Flaring told you to wear that around her, but not me okay so take them off."MercyFul demanded, he started to take them off right then and there."Fletcher not here in your room!"
"Right Master Fear, straight away."He teleported and then came back in casuall dress.
"Much better now take me somewhere." He stood there."Now!"She yelled.
"Where?"He asked dumb foundedly.
"Any where with peanut butter, now mush!"MercyFul screamed. "And get my coat."He left for awhile.
"He's not coming back. I should know I'm his bloody girlfriend."Lythia pointed out entering the room.
"How do you get him to do things for you? I mean he is a teleporter."Mademise said walking in behind Lythia.
"He can't hide from me.I always know where he is. Right now he's in the w.c."MercyFul said sitting on an upside down chair.
"I'm not going to ask what that is."Flaring said popping her head through the window and climbing through.
"Well you can if you want, not everyone knows. Anyway...I'm bored. Where's Skulduggery? I want more candy. Where's the peanut butter?"Then Fletcher popped out of no his hands he had MercyFul's 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' jacket. MercyFul smiled sweetly and kissed him on the cheek. Fletcher not expecting that,blushed a deep red matching the black lip stick nicely. Lythia scoffed and left the opened her mouth to say something but he interrupted.
"Why did you do that?"He asked really laughed at how his face was and put on her jacket.
"I was going to say thanks..." MercyFul looked back to where everyone was, all of them left, she tilted her head in confusion with some of her calmer side. But eventually the sugar broke through." Take me some where now!" Fletcher grabbed her arm like an escort and gave her an confused look.
"I still don't know where you want to go."Fletcher said in a slight panic.
"Just get me into a super market, in the peanut butter aile and then you can leave me any random place you want."
"Sounds fun."He said sarcasticly.
After all that he left her in a dark forest...
"Aah, I want peanut butter!!!!"MercyFul Fear screamed inside the house of the Cullens, yes she picked the lock.
"Who are you and what are you doing in my kitchen?"Edward Cullen asked staring at her with wide eyes.
"I want peanut butter now or I will put Stewart on you!!"MercyFul screamed slamming an expensive vase on the floor.
"I'll get you your peanut butter...if you tell me who you are."He tensed sensing there was something a tad wrong with this girl. He read her thoughts and decided that there must be some sarcastic classroom full of kids in her head, they all really wanted out.
"MercyFul Fear duh! Now go get me some peanut butter!"MercyFul said crossing her arms.
"I don't have any, so I'll have to get some one to go get it for you."Edward said slowly walking out the kitchen.
"Your on the jelly's side aren't you?You racist white dude!"She screamed angerly and then brightened pulling something out of her purse. A flashlight. "Do you sparkel with any light or just the sun? Hehehehe! Sparkel...sparkely shinny!" She flicked on and off the light on Edward who by the way was looking like a firework but without the explosions."Explode...explode now or I'll chain Fletcher to you!" She screamed jumping up and down.
"Explode?! I can't do that!" Edward said now a littel scared.
"Fine don't but I'll still chain you to Fletcher!"
"Who's Fletcher?"Edward asked trying to step out the door but she followed close behind.
"Like the last and only teleporter in the world! Your a vampire and are from the magical world and you don't know this yourself? How we can control the elements and sense past deaths and have any other kind of power?" She asked still flicking on and off the light. The battery gave and she screamed in angush. Suddenly there was a flashlight hurling toward Edward but he ducked.
"Your a crazy lunatic!" Edward said before making a run for it. MercyFul smiled as he left, that was the same direction she crashed his new Viper. MercyFul ran all over the house looking through things, eating what ever they had and painting 'Blood Suckers' with red paint on their walls.
"MercFul Fear, where are you? See Lythia, I told you that you shouldn't have given her candy! She gets too hyper on even the smell of sugar!"Mademise Morte said walking into the door with Lythia Harpen and many others in a large stay together kind of search party.
"Sssssttttteeewwwaarrrrtttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!"A shrill scream from up stairs caught everyone's attention."I want peanut butter!!"
"Twin!? Where are you? What happened?"Mademise shouted running up the stairs everyone of course stayed down stairs. When they explored the rest of the house everything was is shambels. Broken glass, thrown around food and turned over furniture.
Up stairs...
"Nooo...... Juliet was cheating on him with Alexander! This is a tragedy!"MercyFul screamed, Mademise put a hand on her shoulder.
"Its okay Stewart is a hard nut I'll bet he'll lick this right quick."Mademise said which only made her cry even more. Mademise sighed and walked out the closet in which she found MercyFul.
"I need peanut butter."Was all MercyFul said looking down at the green mechnical pencil in her hand. Mademise pulled at her hands and tried to get her out the closet.
"Come on before all the Cullens come back, then we'll have 'Breaking Dawn' all over again."Mademise said trying her best to sound calm. But if this kept on , well there was no telling as to where MercyFul's action would lead them.
"Mademise we've got to go , the Cullens are on their way."Skulduggery Skellington yelled from down stairs which caused Mademise to turn and gave an opportunity for MercyFul to make a break for it.
"I will convert Edward Cullen into a peanut butter advocate!" She yelled as Mademise ran after her.
"That's my twin alright."Mademise gave up chasing her and looked sheepishly at the whole search party."New mission: Convert Edward Cullen into a peanut butter advocate." Everyone shock their heads and agreed.