So, I've recently become obsessed with Team Fortress 2. (Especially the Sniper. Mmmm, Sniper...) The Result? A fic of course! Please leave reviews, even if only to say that you read it. I love reading reviews.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the TF2 universe. But Valve may want to keep an eye on their Sniper. I'd steal him in a heartbeat. 3

"Things have been quiet," The RED Spy was leaned against the wall adjacent to him, eyes closed, wisps of smoke floating around his balaclava clad face. He took one last drag from the smoldering nub that had once been a cigarette. "Too quiet."

With a flick of his wrist, he sent the now useless butt out the window.

"Hey!" The Sniper stood, a scowl on his angled features. "Throw your damn cigarette someweah else!"

The Spy raised an eyebrow, The Sniper shook his head and sighed.

"Just because none o' them BLU pricks have popped their 'eads up for a few days dosen't mean they ain't there. They coulda seen that." Lifting a hand up to tip his hat down, The Sniper leaned back against the wall of the small room, sliding down until he sat on the crate beneath him. "Give away our blooming location why don't ya."

The Spy shrugged, twirling his butterfly knife between his fingers idly. "Chances are zey are filling zeir ranks with new recruits. Zat would distract zem enough to miss one discarded cigarette."

There was that smile. It reminded him of a hungry dingo.

Circling a baby.

But what the French man said was in all probability true. RED Team had given those BLUs a miserable time over the past week or so. He smiled, a charming lopsided sort of grin, as he recalled putting a bullet between the eyes of the enemy's Spy yesterday afternoon.

He always got warm, fuzzy feelings when one of those snakes walked into scope.

Also, Their Scout had managed to give the BLU Engineer a good thwacking with that bat of his. Split the man's hard hat right in two. Sometimes The Sniper forgot that little American whelp had an arm on him. Anyway, after that, good old Team RED hadn't needed to worry about turrets for awhile. It had made strategizing a lot easier.

Until the RED Medic went and got himself set on fire. Blasted Pyro.

They'd had to fall back after that of course. Soldier and Heavy had sported some nasty injuries. With a dead Medic and their two major powerhouses out of commission until they recovered, things had been quiet for the past few days. Still, Red had the upper hand. They may have hit a spot of bad luck with their Medic and Pyro being taken out, but Blue's losses were much greater. A Heavy, a Spy, an Engineer, and a Sniper.

Like The Spy in the crimson suit had said, BLU team was hurting for new recruits. They'd be getting some shiny new replacements any time now. That was for sure. And he had the perfect vantage point for scoping them out. RED may have had to retreat due to loss of their healer, but in their last push they'd moved the enemy line back significantly. Everything but the inside of the main base was easy pickings for his expert aim.

Suddenly, The Spy flipped his knife closed, eyes becoming alert.

"Do you hear zat?"

The Sniper tipped the rim of his hat up with a thumb, training his gaze out the window and listening intently. A steady, low rumble.

The familiar sound of tires on a desert road.

"Yeah, I 'ear that."

He reached for his sniper rifle and walked slowly toward the large, glassless window, making sure to keep low. Cautiously, he peeked his head up, trying to catch a glimpse of the vehicle. Which didn't take long, seeing as it was heading to the second building over from them. Lifting his gun up, The Sniper looked the through scope at the oncoming armored car. He chuckled.

"You we're right. Fresh meat."

The Spy responded by immediately going from his leisurely poster to the stance of trained killer. They may not always see eye to eye, him and his stealthy teammate, but there was no argument that the man was good at his job. Chillingly so.

This was perfect. The new BLUs were finally arriving, and they were doing him the favor of rolling right into the crosshairs. His crooked smile returned as he steadied himself to aim, finger hovering over the trigger. From behind him, he heard The Spy laugh low and smooth. The Sniper shuddered slightly.

Blimey, he hated Spies. Never trust 'em, even if they're on your side. Them and their disguises made it impossible to relax, even in the sanctity of the RED Base. Fortunately since he had managed to pick off The BUE Spy RED Team had been able to take it little easier.

Bloke still gave him the creeps though. Felt like he was going to get a knife to the back any minute with him around twirling that bloody knife. Good thing the Australian Marksman had his Razorback. 10,000 volts of electricity should be enough incentive enough to keep the sneaky bastard at bay.

"Are zey in your sights?"

The Spy moved to stand next to the window, up against the wall to keep out of the line of vision. Sniper nodded, his face a smooth mask of concentration.

"Soon as them wankas step outside 'a that van, they'll be Swiss cheese."

The car rolled to a stop under an overhang that would seem perfectly safe if not for The Sniper's favorable position.

"Très bien, eliminating the problem before it even becomes a problem. The Administrator will be pleased."

And with that, the RED Spy pulled his silver cigarette case from the inside of his suit, preparing to light another smoke.

This was going to be an easy day. When they got back to the base with the good news, Demoman was sure to break out the whiskey. Sniper smiled at the thought, rolling his shoulders as he prepared to shoot.

The car door cracked open, he steadied his hand, watching carefully. A single boot touched the ground.

A boot with a three inch heel.

Sniper blinked. That… wasn't standard uniform for any of the classes. Not to mention, that was an awfully girly leg, and-

Wait. That was a girl's leg.

She stepped out of the van, brown boots leading up to slender legs clad in rather small cargo shorts. She wore a Standard BLU team shirt with—well he'd be damned—a yellow sniper patch on either arm. So the new Sniper was a little Shelia, eh? BLU Team must be getting desperate. He would have preferred to not shoot the female recruit, especially on her first day, but business was business and she had picked the wrong team. No hard feelings.

With expert precision, he trained the scope on the girl's head, managing to get a glance of her face under the rim of her hat. Too bad really, she was an awfully pretty youn-

Sniper froze, not taking his eyes off the familiar face.

"Martha?"