The little ball sat perfectly in the tip of the little triangle formed by the flesh. Kara took a deep breath and started to roll the pea on the slick cutting surface of an orange – here and there, gently coating it with sweet juice. She took great care not to apply too much pressure, changing from index finger to middle finger and back. So far, so good. The pea was still intact after a few rounds and the cutting surface and the orange flesh didn't show any dents or traces of the wandering pea. Kara released her breath slowly. That was what she was aiming for. That was what she had been practicing for the last hour. It was good.
On the TV screen in her living room area, the first season of Orphan Black was running. Lena had insisted that Kara should give the show a chance. She wanted to watch the second season with her at their next Netflix marathon. Cosima and Delphine just meet in one of the earlier episodes. At the moment, they were dancing around each other while the sexual tension between them grew. Watching Cosima, Kara had to think about her own dark haired nerd who loved to do crazy science for the greater good. Normally straight hair was tousled and flowed gently around bare shoulders. Pale skin was smooth under her touch. Two heartbeats quickened in sync. Lena's scent mixed with her perfume. Soft lips nipped at Kara's earlobe.
A finger jerked and squished into the flesh of the orange, burying the pea deep inside of it. Not again! With a sight, Kara shook herself out of the daydream. She eyed the seven other orange halves that were lying smashed on the kitchen counter and with flattened peas buried inside them.
To master a skill, the way to success was exercise. Exercise consisted of repetition. Repetition allowed her to build up muscle memory. Her aim was to be able to roll a pea over the orange half without damaging either of them and she had to be able to reproduce a positive result several times in a row. Otherwise Kara couldn't allow herself to pursue true love with a human with all its implications. Humans were so fragile in her hands.
Kara placed a new orange on the chopping board and cut it in half. She cautiously extracted another pea from its pod and placed it in the tip of the triangle formed by one of the orange segments.
There was a knock on the door. Kara jumped a little. She didn't expect anyone. Alex was with Maggie, Mon-El had fully settled into his own apartment weeks ago, James and Winn indulged in some bro-time, and Lena was out with business partners. It had been the perfect evening to conduct her secret experiment.
Kara muted the TV and slipped her glassed down her nose to have peek. It was Lena, still in her business outfit, hair up in a tight bun. She was rubbing her temples. Kara rushed over to open the door. She held her hand out to Lena.
"Thank god, you are home. I need a friendly face", Lena said. She let herself be pulled into the apartment.
"That bad?"
Kara steered her to the kitchen counter.
"Yes."
Lena kicked off her high heels, took off her coat and her blazer only to reveal pale shoulders peaking out of a sleeveless top. Kara nearly knocked over the kitchen counter as she walked around it. That didn't go unnoticed. With a little chuckle, Lena placed her discarded clothes and handbag on one of the chairs.
„Please, let us talks about something other than share holder value or stock markets. And please don't mansplain my own inventions to me."
She took a seat and reached for the hair tie to loosen the bun. Her hair flowed down her shoulders. Kara followed the motion and bit her lip.
"I think, I can manage that."
Searching for something else to look at, Kara's gaze fell on the remains of her exercise material. Darn, she missed the chance to superclean the mess she made before letting Lena inside. That woman was way to distracting. Kara started to clean away the stickiness of the juice with a rag. That should give her some to time to decide what to do with all the cut open oranges and to come up with a convincing cover story.
Lena scanned the little fruit and veggie still life on the counter.
„This isn't your usual choice of food." She picked up one orange half and raised an eyebrow. „Are you trying a new power food recipe, however unorthodox it may seem? Have I finally converted you to a more balanced diet?" Lena peered into the little tunnel made by Kara's finger. She frowned. „You aren't grieve-cooking again, are you?" As the scientist and explorer that she was, Lena took the knife and surgically extracted a squashed pea from the pulp. Lena regarded it from every side. Than she looked at Kara with a raised eyebrow. „You said, you were over the break up with Mon-El. It has been over for two months now."
Kara threw her hands in the air. In the process, she lost the grip on the rag. It flew out of her hand, went straight up, and flapped against the ceiling. It stuck there.
"I'm not and I am and it is three month by now." So much for being sneaky with her experiment. „It's not that."
With a soft sound, the rag lost grip of the ceiling and flapped on the kitchen counter. Kara glared at it.
"Kara." Lena laughed. „What is going on?"
Kara went around the counter and flopped on the third chair.
„I'm not grieve-cooking and I really am over Mon-El."
Lena looked sceptically at her. Kara took in an exasperated gasp.
"I know, the first month after the break up I had a hard time to let go of the idea of Mon-El and I as a couple. But really, this…", Kara gestured to the display on the kitchen counter and continued quietly „…is me moving on."
Lena took another orange half and picked a pea out of its flesh with the knife. She waved the impaled vegetable at Kara.
„Kara, you need to elaborate a little bit more."
Kara crossed her arms in front of her chest.
„For so long I thought he was my only chance to have it all. I enjoyed so much that I could be intimate with him without the fear of hurting him physically. From my perspective, that is a very sexy quality in a partner and it is not easy to come by."
Lena gave Kara a small, almost sad smile. She broke eye contact and focused on freeing another pea from its juicy prison. Kara watched her while she continued.
„I mean, I broke the noses of four guys just because we tried to kiss."
Lena looked up again. Kara lost herself in her eyes before she remembered that she was in the middle of an explanation.
„Mon-El and I… we have our super powers and the loss of our worlds in common and we had that supertutor-padawan thing going on. That is a strong bond. But it turned out that it isn't enough to build a romantic relationship on. We are better off as friends."
All the peas were set free and sat in a little pile on the chopping board. They looked sad, so flattened and with their insides squashed out.
„With Mon-El, I got a glimpse of what it would be like to be with someone. I want that, I want the whole package. It is possible. I mean, Clark has it", Kara finished.
Lena went to wash her hands in the sink.
„He does, doesn't he?" she said, turning around and leaning on the counter.
Kara straightened her back, and clapped her hands on her thighs.
"So, when I actually do find someone here on earth, they will most likely be human. And if I want to have it all with them, I need to be able to control my super strength. Clark says, the key is practice and trust. So I'm practicing to be worthy of the trust invested in me."
Lena seemed to be listening to her with all her body. After a moment of quite staring, she shook herself out of her reverie and gestured at orange halves and the pile of peas. She blushed.
"Tell me, isn't a banana or a zucchini the classic choice for practicing … hum … these kind of things?"
Kara squirmed on her chair and looked into the direction of her living room area. Lena followed her gaze. On screen, Delphine reached out and pulled Cosima into a kiss that left no question open about her intentions or her determination. Lena's gaze wandered between screen TV back to the selection of oranges and peas „Oh." …to the squashed oranges and peas. Lena took a step back. Her hands flew down to and covered her more sensitive body regions protectively. „Ouch."
Kara flinched at her friend's reaction. Her heart burned with thought that she scared Lena with just being who she was. Lena stepped forward again and reached out to Kara over the counter. Kara withdrew her hand gave her apologetic smile. Lena pinched the bridge of her nose.
„I didn't realise that you would be interested in dating women", she said.
Lena busied herself with throwing away the peas. Kara tried to concentrate on the statement and to blend out the image of Lena's knee jerk reaction.
„Well, you know… Kryptonian mating customs are so different from earth customs. Sexuality and gender were only secondary aspects in the search for a perfect match where computer had to pre-approve a lifelong union between two people." Lena let out a quite ‚Huh' at that. „Here on earth, a man and a woman seem to be the preferred constellation for a pairing although homosexuality is accepted. That is confusing. Look at how much Alex had struggled to accept herself. She is so happy now. That made me think that the one who warms my heart when I think about her is the one for me despite her gender."
Lena pushed herself from the counter, took two glasses and a lemon squeezer from the wall cabinets, and started to juice the oranges. She swallowed hard.
„Kara, do you have someone in mind?"
Kara waved her hand dismissivly.
"It doesn't matter. I don't think… I don't really have a chance at the moment. As much as I want the whole package, she deserves it, too. But as it is,…" she pointed with her head towards the remains of the oranges. „…I can't be that person for her to make that happen. Provided that she even wants me."
The fact that Lena stepped back and protected herself was prove enough that Kara still had a long way to go before she was in the position to pursue a romantic relationship with her. Chances were that Lena would find someone else in the meantime. Kara suddenly felt drained like after a solar flare. An urge to be alone flooded through her. Could she feign a migraine? No. Lena knew that Kara didn't get migraines. Kara could pretend to have an emergency that required Supergirl's attention. How could she fake an emergency call?
Lena's voice stopped her train of thought.
"So you are doing this for someone special."
Kara nodded. There was no use in pretending otherwise.
"Does she know that you are interested?"
Kara shook her head.
"I wanted to make sure that – you know – I can make her happy without conditions before I try to woo her."
Lena finished pressing the last orange half. Both glasses were filled to the rim with juice.
"She would be lucky to have you either way. Does she know that you are Supergirl?"
"Yes."
"Does she know that you are Kara Danvers née Zor El?"
"Yes."
Lena went around the counter and placed one glass of juice beside Kara's hand. She leaned in and with a low voice asked: "Is it Pam from HR?"
"No!" Kara laughed. Pam from HR was great but she looked like the human version of Roz, the floor manager from Monster Inc. She was happily married. Supergirl had made a special appearance at her granddaughter's fifth birthday.
"It's no one from the DEO, or my family including Maggie, my sister-in-law."
Kara groaned. The circle of people who fitted into that description consisted of one person. She might as well shout from roof tops Lena, it's you. Lena didn't seem to notice. She retrieved some ice cubes from the freezer.
"So let me summarise this: you found someone who warms your heart. You want to make sure that you don't hurt her with your super strength before you try to ask her out because you want her and yourself be happy in every way. You do that by rolling peas over oranges." She stopped in her way. „Where did you get the idea?"
Kara adjusted her glasses, trying to look the ace reporter that she was.
"I did some research and found a YouTube clip where a gay man in drag tried to explain to heterosexual men how to pay proper attention to women in bed."
"YouTube."
YouTube was great. YouTube taught her how to knit socks.
"I can hardly ask Mon-El for advise about supersave sex with human women."
That wasn't true. He did offer advise in his carefree manner after he called her out on being in love with Lena. It was a weird moment in their post-relationship friendship. Kara was still recovering.
"Do I want to know what else you found during your research?" Lena asked.
Kara shook her head.
Lena dropped ice cubes in her own and in Kara's orange juices. The last cube splashed into the juice and sent a drop flying over the glass rim. It landed on Kara's hand.
„This is oddly romantic", Lena said with a knowing smile.
Kara stared at the orange juice drop. It had settled between the knuckles of her index finger and her middle finger.
"You know, you don't have to be Supergirl to offer the whole package. You can just be Kara with me. I trust you", Lena said.
She toke Kara's hand and lifted it up to her mouth. With the tip of her tongue, she toke up the drop and pressed her lips to the spot. Kara tightened the grip around Lena's fingers. Carefully, of course. Lena's lips left a red imprint behind. Kara stares at the traces of lip stick between her knuckles for a moment.
„This is totally encouraging."
Kara smiled at Lena and pressed their joint hands against her sternum.