~ I Wanted Crepes ~
As he waited for Gabriel to arrive and interrogate him on the nature of his recent discorporation, Aziraphale's thoughts spiraled off in several different directions - the first being that he'd had that body for over five millenia and he was going to miss it, even if the new one ended up being very similar. Secondly, he wondered if Crowley was aware of his fate, and what the demon would do once he found out, or if he would even notice the angel was missing before Aziraphale made it back down to the mortal world in a new body.
Distantly he reflected that he hadn't even gotten to eat any crepes.
Not once did the thought ever cross his mind that he might be denied a new body on the ground of gross incompetence.
"What happened to the body you were given?" Gabriel inquired.
"Well, as you can see, my physical body has been... ah... killed," Aziraphale replied in an awkward stammer.
"Obviously," Gabriel replied flatly. "What I'm asking is how that came to be."
"Oh, yes, of course. I was executed. By guillotine. After being mistaken for an aristocrat in Paris."
Although it was not strictly necessary for the report, Gabriel's own curiosity compelled him to ask, "And why were you in Paris, dressed inappropriately in the middle of a revolution?"
"I wanted crepes. I'd forgotten about the revolution."
Surely he couldn't be that lacking in intelligence. Surely not.
"And why did you not use your powers to save yourself?"
"Well, you see, I was recently told that I've been performing too many frivolous miracles, so I didn't think that I should-"
"You consider saving yourself from being discorporated frivolous?" Gabriel interrupted him.
After his interview with Gabriel about the incident, Aziraphale put in a formal application for a new body. Since it was his first time being discorporated, he did not realize that there would be a written exam that he must pass before he could be assigned a new body.
The Archangels watched as Aziraphale frowned and muttered to himself, finally writing down an answer, only to go back and erase it moments later.
"He's really struggling," Sandalphon commented.
"Aren't the answers meant to be obvious?" Uriel asked.
They continued watching as Aziraphale agonized over what should have been simple choices.
"Oh, my God, he's an idiot," Gabriel said. After a brief, tense moment of silence, he continued, "So... who wants to tell him he's not getting that new body?"
The rest of the Archangels glanced at each other apprehensively. In the end, it was Michael who volunteered.
~end~