So I was reading To The Winner Go The Spoils by the brilliant alaskamoe and there was a line in it that caught my attention. This story came from that. I love FemShepXGarrus but my mind wouldn't let this go. Hope you enjoy it and please go read alaskamoe's story too, it's great :-)

I didn't love her when we started this. I respected her more than anyone else in the galaxy and she was my closest friend. I would follow her to the ends of the universe if she needed me to but I did not love her.

It wasn't about me loving her though, it was about her needing someone and choosing me. I still don't know why she did. There were plenty of other humans that could have done so much more for her.

She was my commanding officer and my best friend. Whenever she needed me, I'd be there for her. I did care about her, just not like that.

"What if we skipped right to the tie breaker. We could test your reach, and my flexibility." What had she just said? Did she just proposition me?

I had to think about how to reply for a moment. I'd never really thought of Shepard like that. She was my best friend and I cared about her, but not in that way.

The way she looked right now though. Looking away from me with a shyness I'd never seen before. A little bit of hope was flickering around in her eyes, something I hadn't seen in weeks, maybe months.

I muttered something about her liking scars while I was trying to get my brain to catch up. I knew what I had to do because it was Shepard and she need something. If I could help her at least a little bit, then it would be worth it. I owed her that much.

""Well, why the hell not? There's nobody in this galaxy I respect more than you." And there isn't. If I could make her happy by being with her, then so be it. She was the savior of our galaxy and if she needed me to sacrifice something for her, I would.

She comes to talk to me every day. Always the same. We'll talk about the latest mission or sometimes reminisce about the whole Seren thing. Remember those who fell. This time was different though. I needed to talk to her. I needed to be sure that this is what she wanted. This is what she would be happy with.

"Are we crazy to even be thinking about this? You could find something a little closer to home." I tried to give her an out, maybe she would see that we were just too different and she would decide against it.

"I don't want something closer to home. I want you. I want someone I can trust." Of course, she doesn't change her mind. But if this is what she wants then I'll go along with it.

"I can do that. I'll find some music and do some research to figure out how this will work."

"You know Garrus, if you're not comfortable with this, it's ok. I'm not trying to pressure you."

And then she gave me an out. Just like that. I could say to forget the whole thing but I would have to see the disappointment cross her face. I would have to make her sad and I can't do that. I wanted to at least be able to give her something.

"Shepard, you're about the only friend I have left in this screwed up galaxy. I'm not going to pretend I have a fetish for humans... but this isn't about that. It's about us." You "You don't ever have to worry about making me uncomfortable. Nervous, yes, but never uncomfortable."

So we set a rough date for this to take place on and we didn't talk much about it again. Not until the night before the Omega relay jump.

On the eve of the Omega jump, I still didn't find much feeling for Shepard beyond the intense friendship we had and my loyalty to my commander. I still didn't love her and I doubted she loved me. She just needed something stable and I was the only one to be here for her from the beginning. (Well, besides Joker, but I doubt that they were very interested in each other.)

Still, I was nervous as I was walking to her cabin. I didn't know what to expect. I wasn't even sure if she would want to go through with this now. Talking about it is one thing but actually doing it? She might back down when she actually sees our differences.

I would side by her decision either way. Whatever she wanted tonight, I would gladly get her. I didn't have much to give anymore but I would give it to her.

The first few minutes were awkward. I didn't really know how to court a female human. Turians were easy, but I knew what to compliment on them. Humans? They were much more difficult.

I wasn't lying when I told her that I wanted something to go right for once. Though she probably assumed I was talking about us working out. I really just didn't want to screw up making her happy. She deserved everything in the galaxy that would make her happy but she chose me at that point and I wanted to make sure I could do something for her. Finally do something right.

Things got better after that. We joked and laughed. Got a little drunk. And then she said something I wasn't expecting.

"I want to be with you Garrus, forever. I don't just want this to be a one time thing before what may be our last mission. I want to be able to take the Collectors head on and know I have something to come back to. A reason to survive."

I looked at her, she was curled up in my lap at the moment and she looked so small. There was a darkness in her eyes that rarely showed itself. I knew she was trying to not hope for too much but she wanted this to happen.

I held her a little closer to me, shielding her from everything that I possibly could. "I'll always be here for you Shepard. I'm not going anywhere so don't worry. Tomorrow will work out great. We'll get the crew back and stop the Collectors and then we'll come back here. Together."

She smiled at those words. A real smile that wasn't strained or worried. It just reflected happiness. And finally, I had done something right. Making her happy almost made up for my other failures.

When I woke up the next morning, she was sound asleep beside me. She had a small smile on her face and she looked at peace. I was glad to see her looking so relaxed.

I slowly got out of the bed and slowly stumbled to the bag of dextro stuff I brought. I grab a drink and a small snack and sat down at her desk.

I was admiring her model ship collection when I heard her stir and then say my name with a hint of panic in her voice.

"Shepard, are you ok?" I got up quickly and went to her side.

She looked at me and I could see that there were unshed tears in her eyes. "I thought you left. I thought you didn't have a good time and were done with me."

I was shocked for a moment. I hadn't realized that Shepard was this insecure. Maybe it had to do with her past. Her life hadn't been easy when she was growing up and Akuze just made it that much worse.

I held her close to me and ran my talons through her hair, a soothing gesture I'd seen humans use. "I told you last night that I'm not going anywhere. I'll never leave you."

She stayed in my arms until Joker came over the comm and told us that it almost time to make the jump.

When she pulled away from me she was Commander Shepard again. "Let's go get them." She smiled at me and all I could do was return the smile.

I knew we would make it back from this mission, together. When we returned, there would be time for us to be together, and maybe in that time I could learn to love this strange creature who chose me over everyone else in the galaxy.

So, I have this super sad backstory for my Shepard in my mind because this one grew up on the streets and doesn't trust people much but I really don't want to write it out. If you're really interested send me a message an I'll think about writing a backstory for her. Also, I don't plan to go further with this but I might. Send me a message about that too if your interested in reading more.