The Electro Bi-Polar
This is a story in which Vince Noir is an extreme bi-polar. I thought this was a really good idea, but if you don't like the idea, then don't read. I do not own the mighty boosh, but I do own Catlin. If I did, Bob Fossil would get a hell of a lot more screen time.
Vince's POV
I'm just breathless, and I keep trembling. Nobody watches me as I descend to the floor, but in my room I feel like I'm being stared at, and thee feeling is just overwhelming as I look myself in the mirror. What had I become? And then I stopped- stopped making sense. I crumpled onto the floor in front of the mirror, and began to cry. Only a few nights ago had I been like this before, and it was happening again. As I lay on the floor, I noticed the mirror again, and everything looked different from this angle. Pathetic. I looked myself straight in the eye, and whispered 'help me…' and I once again fell into darkness.
Howard's POV
I was worried about Vince. He was acting weird lately. He tended to disappear for days on end, and neither Naboo nor Bollo seemed to care at all. They just said he was probably out at some party, but it didn't seem that way to me.
Sometimes he would come out of his room, dressed all in black and acted like he was lost… it creped me out sometimes, and worst of all, whenever I asked him what he was doing last night- he acted pretended he didn't know what I was talking about.
It honestly worried me, and I was determined to find out why he was acting this way.
Catlin's POV
I know that Jared is mysterious, I know he disappears frequently, and I know all my friends think he's dangerous, but that doesn't stop me from liking him. Yes, I liked him.
Every time he came back to the house (we all lived in a shared house, all 5 of us splitting the rent) I felt a surge of joy at his presence. He was almost threatening in some ways, but that didn't worry me. He was my best friend in the house, and even if he disappears every other day, we were always close.
Here he comes- and I have to say he was looking good. His usual black jeans, the tight silver shirt, which I had to admit made him look like Noel Fielding (I giggled at that thought) and the dark army jacket. Then there was his hair, which was always perfect- a mullet type style with a great fringe and amazing layers. I had no idea how he did it, but I had to admit I was jealous sometimes. My hair was always a bit lank, and I had to straighten it and sort out my fringe all the time to keep it looking good- but it couldn't compare to his.
"Hey Cat" he said in his usual cheery voice "what's been happening?"
"Well, seeing as you disappeared again…" I was about o finish, but his eyes widened as I trailed off. You see, this was the other problem. Whenever he disappeared, he seemed to have no idea what he was doing or where he was. In fact, he seemed not to know anything about leaving. I had often wondered where he went in that sparkly suit.
"I don't see your theory in my disappearances. I never left. I don't know how I got there again."
"Where again?" my head shot up. I had never heard him talk about where he had been before. He always just questioned my theories and shook his head. This was why nobody really trusted him.
"Oh, I just woke up in some apartment. I was on the floor, so I guess there was some party and I got smashed again." He shrugged "no big deal." My face fell. I was about to uncover the great mystery of Jared's disappearances, but then he had just been at a party.
"Well, then you shouldn't get drunk so often." I snapped, and instantly regretted it. He looked slightly hurt, and so I apologised. We continued into the house where he began to make himself a bowl of shreddies, and I watched him. Where had he been? His answers never really made sense, and I was just as stuck as ever. I wanted to know more, but more wasn't an option. I closed my eyes and sighed. Next time, next time I would follow him.
Howard's POV
I sighed internally. This was one of those nights where Vince was out partying or whatever and Lester Corncrake was in his kitchen drinking weed killer because he can't read the bottles.
I was angry that he had got away unnoticed again. He rarely got caught by anyone on his way out, and it frustrated me that he was so crafty as he slipped out of the flat. When he was acting normally really loud and clumsy. Naboo never bothered stopping him as he left, even though he was always down there at night. It wasn't fair. Where did Vince go?
Then I realised… if I ever catch him, just follow him. Don't ask him where he's going, just slip through the alleyways- even if it was about three in the morning. I would follow him. I was determined this time. I WILL find him.
Catlin's POV
It was night again, and I was ready and waiting in my bed, awake and ready to follow him. It wasn't hard to catch him leaving- he was really loud and clumsy, which was another weird thing. He was usually really sneaky when he was acting normally.
"Shit" I heard him mutter. This wasn't normal- he didn't usually leave this quickly. He left the room, and I went to where he had been standing. He had broken the house phone. I flushed in anger. The house phone? Really? God, Jared was such a klutz when he left… it made no sense. How did he even break the house phone? It was quite sturdy. Anyway, back to the point.
He had slipped out of the door, and I followed his actions. It wasn't particularly hard, seeing as he was creeping along in foot-high heeled boots and making a lot of clacking noises to cover my own. He seemed to catch onto this, and took them off in the doorway. I had to admit- he was hot. Even when he was wearing a glittery suit, though I did think silver suited him, but in small doses. His hair was still amazing though.
He was walking very quietly now, and I had to match his pace so he wouldn't know I was there. God, when he wanted, he was really quiet. He slipped down an alley, and I had to wait a minute to make sure he didn't notice me coming after him.
I turned round the corner. Surely enough, he was gone. I was pissed. How, after making out to be such a klutz, could he get down the alley and completely avoid all detection? Was that even possible? I sighed.
I left for home.
Where the hell have you been?" yelled a shocked scarlet. That was my roommate in the house if you didn't know. I explained. "Ok, start from the beginning." She said, suddenly interested. I sighed again, but this time more in amusement than exasperation. I sat down and began my story.
Vince's POV
I was freaked out. I had woken up in that place again, and that girl was just following me. Oh, don't act so surprised, I'm not as dumb as I let on you know. Now I was hiding behind a dumpster. I can't believe she fell for it.
Ok, now just to get home. I almost didn't want to. Howard didn't really understand the position I was in. hell, I didn't understand it. I turned down to where Nabootique was hidden in the shadows of the street. I slipped soundlessly through the door.
"And where have you been?" asked a very obviously pissed off Howard. I caught on and started to act drunk.
"Hey Howard what you been doi'n you crazy son of a bitchahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" and I fell to the floor and pretended to be unconscious.
Howard's POV
I was wondering whether Vince really WAS just partying a lot. But then again, I was suspicious. I picked him up and carried him to his room. He flopped onto his bed and was asleep instantly.
"You know Vince, I just worry about you…" I said, and as I walked out I swear I could see his eye open, and all my hopes of him just 'partying' fled me. I suddenly felt sick. I crawled into bed and closed my eyes, half hoping all this would go away by morning, and half knowing it wouldn't.