Title: Those Who Wander
Author: RenoOfTheTroika
Rating: T
Summary: Sasuke and feelings... they don't really go together. Sasunaru
Dedicated to: The five people on my profile. Lazy that I am, I won't write their names... their fault for encouraging my laziness .
Version 2.0 released 12/17/13 (Might edit again in a couple of years)
"Not all those who wander are lost"
J.R.R. Tolkien
Sasuke found himself getting dressed to go out, putting on a heavy winter coat and scarf. He wasn't sure exactly where he was going to go in this cold weather. He had been excused from missions for two weeks, with only words filled with appreciation. Recently he had been given a life-threatening mission that he had accomplished, though not without injury. Afterwards all his... comrades had told him that he needed a holiday or the constant missions would take its toll on him.
So now here he was with plenty of time on his hands, none of which he wanted. All he wanted was those continuous missions, not time to think why he was avoiding his life and certain people. So all he could do now was waste his time walking around.
Pausing for a moment to look at his family's house, he couldn't help but shudder at the memories that assaulted him viciously. Blood on the floor, dead blank eyes looking away, and no comfort to be found. He had lived with ghosts all these years, and that was unlikely to change in the future. This house, with its evil events and good memories, was all he had left of the Uchiha clan. All he could do was let go, and allow Konoha and his comrades to do with him what they wished.
Stepping out into the cold air, he took a deep breath of its clean winter smell. He did not feel like walking through the more crowded sections of Konoha. Just because his fan club no longer existed did not mean the occasional one or two girls wouldn't stalk him given the chance. For that reason, he eliminated any nice spots where he would need to pass through high traffic areas to reach.
First he decided to walk to Team Seven's training grounds. It had been months since he had last visited the grounds, the source of where his few good memories began. For so much time before he graduated from the academy, all he could focus on was getting revenge. It wasn't the best motivation to pass, but it was all he had left in the wake of the massacre. However with graduation and the formation of three man teams, his entire life had changed. Revenge had become the second thought in his mind, the first being his team.
Walking into the open area, he spotted a couple of tree stumps. The familiar three stumps reminded him of the first time they though of acting like a team. Kakashi had given them several hints, and only when they started to think about each other, they had passed the stupid bell test. Afterwards it became the place they trained at, and they all became stronger: Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto.
Then the years passed by, and Team Seven grew up. Sakura became one of the most renowned medical ninja, next to Tsunade herself. Sasuke had become head of an elite Anbu squad, his mind and skills rising above all others. And Naruto…
Naruto succeeded. He had been telling everyone since he was little what honor he would receive, and he had been right all along. Rokudaime was his new title. He had finally gained the village's respect, again and again risking his life for them.
A lot had occurred since then. Naruto became a loving Hokage, just like the Sandaime previously. He reformed the council, saying it was time for new minds to shape Konoha's future. After learning how corrupt the former council was and all its callous decisions, Naruto had felt a change for the better would start with a change in the council members. His chief strategist was Nara Shikamaru. Sasuke, Hyuugas Hinata and Neji also became critical members. It was like things were actually going in the right direction.
Well until Sasuke's feeling got in the way.
He could not remember the first time he looked at Naruto with new eyes. It could be argued that everyone changed just by meeting and interacting with the blond. As for Sasuke's more extreme emotions, he liked to thing it was just hormones, and that they would pass. But when feelings like those had been reoccurring since age 15, it was a little hard to ignore them. He would always feel a faint blush on his cheeks when Naruto appeared, his heart beating just a little bit faster at the chance to interact with his best friend, his only real friend.
So Sasuke finally though of a solution that he believed was the best answer: avoid the problem. As they say: out of sight, out of mind. It wasn't the best solution, but Sasuke, if nothing else, knew how to focus his mind solely on one thing. Instead of revenge or Naruto, he chose to spend his every thought on his missions: how to best approach the situation, how to deal with the people involved, and how to succeed with minimum casualties. He didn't let any detail slip, and that was the very reason he was able to climb to the top of Anbu.
Now for two years he had been avoiding Naruto to the best of his abilities. He had fallen hard for his best friend. Incredibly hard. In fact it felt like he was still falling. Falling into those brilliant blue eyes. He grimaced at his incredibly annoying thoughts; it was like he was turning into a girl, and he wasn't fond of becoming like the people that used to fawn over him. With a significant amount of effort, he tried to hide any indication that he felt any different about the blond hokage. However as much as he tried to keep it to himself, no one can hide from a genius.
He shook his head out of his thoughts. This was exactly what he had been trying to avoid thinking about. Scowling, he regretted not putting up more of a fight for this unnecessary time off.
Sasuke suddenly noticed he was at another familiar sight. The bridge. A common meeting place for Team Seven as well as the site where he realized the full array of his feelings.
It had started off as a good day. Sakura had not been making any attempts to ask him for a date. That was one great thing in itself. With all those years training with Tsunade, Sakura had finally discovered that Sasuke was not worth the hero worship. She had gained a measure of self-respect and refused to shallowly chase after any pretty boys. Anothe good thing was that Kakashi wasn't two hours late (one hour was too much to ask from him). Their teacher had warmed up to them over the years and eventually felt like putting in the effort not to be ... very very very late. No, instead he stayed in between one and two verys. And then there was Naruto being his regular goofball self.
They had been walking to train when Naruto got the oh-so-brilliant idea to trip Sasuke. Only it didn't work out that way. To make a long story short, Sasuke was abruptly forced to realize an emotion that he had suppressed and long since forgotten since his family had died: love. It had always been an irrational emotion to him, and then he was forced to admit that he, Uchiha Sasuke, actually loved one Uzumaki Naruto. The horror… and yet, what a day to remember…
Sasuke frowned, lines appearing in his forehead. That day began the nightmare of his life. At some points he began to wonder which nightmare was worse: the nightmares about his family or his newest problem. All he could was try to... move on the only way he knew how to.
Sasuke left the bride and walked to the central part of the village for lunch. He wasn't really hungry, but that didn't mean to say that he wouldn't mind some food. It was worth the risk of crowded streets considering he didn't have anything edible at home. He hadn't been out to shop for groceries in months. He strolled along with purpose, looking for a certain place in particular.
There. Ichiraku Ramen Stand.
He had many memories there. It wasn't just a place for food but for talk and relaxation as well. But after that day on the bridge, he had started avoiding it like it was the plague. The only reason he was going there now was because he was positive Naruto wouldn't be there. At this time of day, Naruto rarely had the time to indulge in a visit; instead he would have an aid make an order and deliver it.
Eating the bowl of ramen brought plenty of flashbacks, one of his favorites was just talking to Naruto, none of their rivalry brought up. Definitely a long time ago. He closed his eyes and putting a hand to his chest, a momentary show of weakness. He missed those times so much, it was ridiculous. Sometimes he wondered if it was worth it, avoiding his only comfort in the world? But at the same time he knew he wasn't good enough an actor to hide the little gestures that could give him away.
He noticed a familiar group coming near the stand and decided this was a good time to leave. He shielded his face and walked past them. Only one person paused before continuing towards the stand. Stupid geniuses…
He decided to walk around the village. Time had definitely been good to it. Now that everything had changed, it was rare to see anyone sad. The Rokudaime made it one of his chief priorities to know everyone after they acknowledged him as a person, not a demon. Just like the Sandaime, the blond hokage took the time to create connections with his people. It made him just as admired, if not more so, than his predecessors.
By the time Sasuke noticed his surroundings again, he was already at the mountain where the faces of the Hokages, previous and present, were carved. Every time he looked at the mountain, he could almost feel their stern gazes watching over the village they had given their lives for. With the addition of Naruto's face, it instilled a sense of duty and strength in each ninja that fought for the village.
It wasn't a place he often visited. Moreso it was a place he visited when looking for Naruto. However he was hoping that this would be the time that Naruto wouldn't be there. He had already gone through so many painful thoughts today; he was afraid if he saw Naruto, he would slip down a slope he had diligently worked hard to avoid.
But, of course, there he was. There, standing tall, was his Naruto.
"Sasuke." Naruto's voice sounded gruff. It had deepened considerably from the voice of a child.
"Na—Hokage-sama." Almost saying Naruto's name had made his heart race. He forced his body to take the position of a soldier, deferring to his leader. This mask was all he had left, especially with how vulnerable he felt. Just seeing the familiar blond hair, the ocean blue eyes, he could feel his heart racing. No matter how much he scolded it to slow down, it never would listen.
"Why Sasuke?" Naruto asked. The blond's face was emotionless, his voice tight. The question didn't seem to make sense, but Sasuke understood all the same. However he deemed the moment to be a good time to act ignorant. If he could, he would already be on the other side of the village.
"Why what?"
Naruto sighed. "Stop trying to avoid the issue, Sasuke. You've managed to do so for eight years, but I won't let it continue. So I will ask again. Why have you been avoiding me, Sasuke?"
"I have my reasons." Sasuke refused to back down. He had spent so many years hiding his tracks; he could not just give up now. Especially if it meant losing this person forever.
"Is it because you don't consider us friends? You don't like me? I guess, then, it would make sense, but I don't believe those are anywhere close to your reasons."
"I don't hate you." 'Probably because I never could,' Sasuke thought.
"Why?"
Sasuke struggled. He could hear the pain in Naruto's voice. He could see tormented blue eyes, and all he felt like doing was comforting the blond. Was it worth telling his secret and being shunned as long as Naruto wasn't in pain?
It was.
That much was decided, at least. However actually doing the deed was completely different.
"Things got … complicated," Sasuke gruffly admitted.
Naruto sighed once more. "Sasuke… if you really don't want to see me, tell me, and you won't catch a hint of me ever again."
Sasuke felt his heart drop. That's what he had wanted… right?! Somehow he knew it was wrong. "No, Naruto. It's not that. I lo-," Sasuke couldn't do it. He knew the words, but after living so many years alone… who he was… prevented him from saying words that others could say so freely.
However, for Naruto, it seemed to be enough. The blond's stiff posture relaxed as he connected the dots. "Stupid Teme," Naruto grumbled. "You avoid me for something as stupid as that."
Sasuke felt his heart break. So it wasn't reciprocated. He turned away from Naruto and began walking away. Except a certain someone wouldn't let him.
"Teme!" He felt two hands force him to turn back and suddenly realized the proximity of Naruto's face to his own. He looked into Naruto's eyes and saw… something he hadn't seen in so many years.
"Oh."
"Oh is right!" Naruto scowled. "You have forced me to live a long time thinking about what you were feeling. Now you have to pay up!" Though his face displayed anger, his eyes were bright and mischievous.
"Pay up…?" Confusion echoed in Sasuke's voice.
"Yup!" Naruto chirped, the scowl already melting off of his face. "I think a date will do the trick."
Sasuke slowly smiled, seeing the direction Naruto was going in. "Fine. Where and when?"
"Ichiraku. Now." Naruto was grinning. Sasuke felt a similar expression on his own face. "Though..." Naruto exaggerated a thinking pose. "You have been making me wait a long time... I think we can skip the normal routine of things."
Sasuke opened his mouth to ask what Naruto was blabbering on about, but he didn't get a chance as a soft warm mouth covered his own. Feeling a blush covering his cheeks, Sasuke coughed and withdrew. He did scowl though when Naruto started grinning. "What are you laughing at?" he asked with a growl.
"That's our first proper kiss. The last two were a bit pathetic, you must admit."
If his face wasn't red before, it definitely was now. Spluttering, Sasuke denied, "You can't even call those kisses. Don't be an idiot!"
Slinging an arm over Sasuke's shoulders, Naruto whispered into his ear, "What is this? You seem rather flustered."
Shuddering at the warm breath on his ear, Sasuke elbowed Naruto's stomach. "If you want that date, don't antagonize me. Or you'll be the one paying."
With a quick laugh and hug, Naruto led Sasuke down the path to Ichiraku.
Sasuke curiously asked, "Why haven't you tried to talk to me before, Dobe?"
Naruto laughed. "Sometimes it may have seemed that you were wandering around in the wrong direction, but, teme, you were never lost. You knew what you wanted from the beginning."
Sasuke's eyes widened up in faint shock. "Naruto can be… smart?"
"Shut up, teme."
"Make me, dobe."
Sitting in front of a bowl of Ramen with his best friend/lover beside him, Sasuke wouldn't have it any other way.
Thanks for reading!
RenoOfTheTroika