Found this just lying around in my old hard drive when I was swapping all my old files. Will slowly post it as I go through and do some re-edits
Oh, by the way, I hope you know that I am in no way, shape, or form Joss Whedon. Or making a profit, ect.
Bad Horse
Dr. Horrible entered the room, not even really looking at the other members of the Evil League of Evil.
He sat down at the chair nearest to the door, still numb from Penny.
All he could see now was Penny, lying on the ground, disappointed in him. Dying.
He glared at the table top, mostly ignoring the other members. Now that he actually was a member he did know why he really had even bothered.
He was evil to bring about social change. Most of these people were in evil because they were psychopaths, crazy, or just, you know, evil.
He barely even heard the praise he was receiving from Bad Horse. His once upon a time idol.
He looked up feeling listless. His new lab coat felt heavy. Everything felt heavy.
Even his eyelids felt heavy. But that was probably because he hadn't slept much lately.
He really needed to get back to his lab soon. He had been working on a cloning ray to bring penny back. The re-life ray had only turned her corpse into a zombie that had tried to eat his brains, so he was trying a different angle.
But nothing seemed to be working. Even the mad scientist, Dr. Frankenstein, had only ever managed to make a monster come back to life. It seemed as if he was still doomed to failure.
"And Dr. Horrible will be very important. We'll need him to fix his freeze ray and stun ray", he heard Bad Horse say and looked up sharply, confused as to what was going on.
"What exactly do you need them for", asked , suddenly acutely aware of the entire room.
"We are going to capture the head of the Wonder League of Wonders", explained Bad Horse.
"You're going to capture Good Dog, your nemesis, the most powerful superhero in the world and leader of the Wonder League of Wonders? That's impossible", said , horrified.
"That's what I said. Not in so many words, but yes", said Bad Horse, one horsey eyebrow raised.
"Oh. Right. I'll get on that", said , swallowing the rest of his disbelief, "I'll head to my lab right now."
He got out of his chair and headed for the door, grateful to be out of there.
"Meeting adjourned", he heard from behind him and the scrapping of chairs on carpet.
"Stop, , I need to talk to you", he heard Bad Horse say, and he froze.
This was bad, this was very, very bad.
"I have found out that an FBI team has raided your lab and is there waiting for you. I found out in time and cleared out everything. You really need to find a better place to put your secret lab. Walking out of your secret lab in full daylight dressed as an evil villain gives that away very quickly. I've had all of your things moved to my lab. You'll stay with me until I am certain that you are less lax with security, besides, I don't actually use the thing", said the imposing horse, "Follow me."
"Umm, Sure", said , terrified of saying no to the thoroughbred of sin.
He followed behind Bad Horse, who walked along at a sedate pace towards the building's underground exit.
Right before the elevator Bad Horse came to a sudden halt. crashed into him, and was relieved when the only thing he received from Bad Horse was a whiny laugh. And not even his terrible, terrible death whiny. More of a snort.
Then Bad Horse sort of shimmered and in his place was a tall man. just sort of blinked at him for a moment.
"Call me Jeff when I'm like this. And if you tell anyone of this you'll wish I had simply killed you", said Bad Horse the human version. He was somehow still just as terrifying.
nodded and they went into the elevator.
They exited into the subterranean car garage and Bad Horse led him to a compact car of a nondescript blue color.
"Why are you still in your uniform? That negates this entire process", said Bad Horse with a sigh.
was obviously not use to being a Super villain. But he was also rather ridiculously attractive for a villain. Bad Horse had noticed it when he'd first seen the man in person.
He wasn't even really that evil, just misguided. But why did anyone get into evil?
He'd teach the mad scientist to be a real bad guy and bind him to himself as well. He was too useful and too cute to let anyone else scoop up. He'd seen some of the other villain's looking at him with a bit too much interest, and that just wouldn't do.
He watched with interest as quickly shucked his red lab coat and steam punk goggles and balled them together. He got into the passenger seat and watched with interest as Bad Horse drove a car.
They ended up in a suburban, cookie cutter house neighborhood, and they entered a nice but utterly normal house.
didn't know what he'd been expected. A haunted stable? A giant mansion?
"When you're up here you won't do anything strange or evil looking. I'll show you the evil lair after I show you to the guest room. You can do whatever you want with it, but keep it clean. If you need anything for the lab or the kitchen then make a list and give it to me. If I'm in human form call me Jeff, if I'm in horse form call me Bad Horse. Don't mix them up. Other than that I don't care", said Jeff, showing him the guest room, "You can't go back to where you live, so order new clothes and such. I only had time to save your lab. Now, what do I call you when you aren't in uniform?"
"Billy, just call me Billy", said Billy softly, looking around the guest room, "How long am I staying?"
"As long as I want. And it will be nice to have company, so indefinitely", said Jeff, studying Billy's reaction, "You have a lot to learn, and I'll take you on as a sort of mentor."
"I appreciate it. You're very different than I expected. It's kind of nice", said Billy, setting his new uniform on his new bed.
Maybe it was a good thing that he was moving away, somewhere new. Some place where everything didn't remind him of Penny.
He finally studied Bad Horse, human version, seriously for the first time.
His hair was dark, like his coat had been, and his eyes were still the same color of dark brown.
He was as tall as he had been as a horse, and he had impossibly broad shoulders that tapered off to a trim waist that seemed small, but when he compared it to his own was still wider.
He was a deep golden brown like he'd spent a lot of time in the sun, not the fake orange of a salon tan that so many sported today.
His clothes were tasteful and expensive looking without being flashy or obtrusive. It was also weird. Stunningly, glaringly weird.
How did one deal with living with the scariest super villain in the world?