AN:/ This story just popped into my head. Rated M for the very beginning. Rated T for the rest.
"Ugh! Harder, faster baby. Oh, so good!" Tina screamed in pleasure.
"After all this time, you would think I would have loosened you up. But you're still So. Fucking. Tight." Noah said, punctuating each word with a particular hard thust.
2 Months Later
Noah walked into his home on cloud 9.
"Babe I have some great news!"
"I have great news too, but you go first. My news definately beats yours, no doubt." Tina said
" How do you know that your news beats mine?" Noah asked.
"Well how about you tell me and we'll find out?" Tina said with a smile.
"Well, the head doctor at the hospital was transfered upstate. I'm the new head Doctor now." He said with a smile. " Now what's your news? It has to be insanely big to beat that." He smirked.
"Let me try. You know the extra bedroom that we have no idea what to do with?"
"Yea what about it?" he asked.
"Well it could be a nursery." she said smiling.
"Why would it be a nursery?" he said still confused.
"Wow, you know for a doctor, you're not very bright." she teased.
"Hey! I'll have you know, I'm HEAD DOCTOR." He said clearly offended.
"It would be a nursery because..." Tina prolonged it.
"Because what, T? Just tell me."Noah begged.
"I'm pregnant, Noah." she said smiling.
"You're pregnant?" he asked looking dumbfounded. "We're gonna have a baby!" he said more enthusiastically as he picked her up and twirled her around.
"We're gonna have a baby!" she laughed, nodding.
"I'm gonna be a Daddy." he whispered.
Tina giggled and smiled up at him, "Yes you are, Daddy."
Four and a Half Months Along
They were at Tina's OB/GYN about to find out the gender of their baby.
"Are you ready to see your baby?" Dr. Greene asked the couple.
They both nodded enthusiastically.
"Alright, this is gonna be cold." Tina hissed as the gel made contact with her baby bump.
Dr. Greene moved the wand around her belly and messed with the Ultrasound machine until a loud fast paced thumping filled the room.
"That's the baby's heartbeat, sounds very healthy. I can see the sex of the baby now, would you like ton know or keep it a surprise?"
"We would like to know the sex now, please." Contrary to popular belief, his mother actually taught him manners.
"Okay, well Noah, Tina you guys are having a baby boy." the doctor smiled at the happy couple.
"That's my son" Noah said, his eyes never leaving the screen.
"Yeah baby, that your son." Tina said smiling.
"How many copies of the ultrasound would you guys like?" the doctor said after he pressed a few buttons and gave Tina a towel to wipe the goo off her belly. Noah's eyes still haven't left the screen, until the doctor shut off the machine.
"Four" Noah said.
"Why four?" Tina asked her husband.
"One for each of us, and then one for my Ma, and one for your parents."
9 1/2 Months Along
Tina was lying in her bed rubbing her belly while she talked to the baby. "Come on baby boy, you were supposed to be here two weeks ago. Daddy and I really want to meet you." she suddenly had to pee, but she couldn't get up. "NOAH!" she called for her husband.
He came running into the room, "Yes?"
"Help me up, I really have to pee." she said when he came into the room. He helped her up and into the bathroom. When she finished, she got up to wash her hands and that's when she felt it, a rush of wetness running down her leg and the splatter of it on the tiled floor beneath her. "NOAH!"
He came running back into the room. "Yeah babe?"
Tina looked up at him, "Get the overnight bag, babe."
"Why?"
She smiled at him and said. "It's time. He's coming, our baby is coming."
That's when he noticed that she was standing in a puddle. "Okay, I'll call the hospital to let them know we are on our way."
She nodded breathing hard as a contraction hit.
At The Hospital 20 Minutes Later
By the time they got to the hospital, Tina was ready to push. They didn't have time for an epidural.
"Wow, you guys called twenty minutes ago and you're already fully dilated." The doctor said to Tina.
Tina smiled while breathing hard and nodded. "He's ready to meet Daddy" she said looking at Noah, squeezing his hand as another contraction hit.
"Okay Tina, when the next contraction hits I need you to give me a big push."
As soon as the contraction hit, Tina started pushing and screaming at Noah.
"OH MY GOSH! YOU BASTARD, I AM NEVER HAVING SEX WITH YOU AGAIN! OH GOD, NOAH I HATE YOU SO MUCH!"
"One more push Tina and you meet your baby."
She gave one last big push and a ear piercing wail rang out.
"Daddy cut the cord?" the doctor said.
Noah looked at Tina. "Go ahead baby, cut your son's cord."
As soon as Noah cut the cord, the nurses took him away to clean him up.
"WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY GOING WITH MY BABY!" Noah yelled.
Tina giggled at his antics, "Relax baby, they have to go clean him up. He has all kinds of goo on him. They'll bring him back in a few minutes."
True to her word, the nurses brought the baby back wrapped in a baby blue blanket. They sat the baby in Tina's arms.
"Elijah Jonah Puckerman, my baby boy." Tina said.
"Our baby boy." Noah corrected.
5 Months Later
Noah had arranged for Tina, Rachel and Kurt to have a fully paid spa day away from the baby. He does this every month but this is the first time he was alone with his baby. He was soon wondering how Tina managed to control the baby while he was at work, all he did was eat, sleep, cry and poop. He learned the hard way to never leave the baby uncovered when changing his diaper, he's a shooter.
"Come on Eli, please stop crying. I don't know what to do." Noah whined, he wouldn't stop crying. His face was turning red and Noah was about to cry himself.
He checked his diaper, clean. He had just fed him, so he wasn't hungry and he had just woken up from his nap. He texted Santana.
San Please help me. Eli won't stop crying -NP
He waited a few minutes before he got a response.
Is he hungry, is his diaper full, is he sleepy? -SL
I just fed him, his diaper is clean, and he just woke up. -NP
Did you burp him after you fed him? -SL
No. Should I have? -NP
There's your problem dumbass. He has gas. You have to burp him after you feed him. P.S. make sure you have a burping cloth under him or an old shirt when you burp him, he might spit up. -SL
Thanks San. I owe you one -NP
No problem. Now go burp your son. -SL
Noah went in his room while carrying a crying Eli, and changed into one of his old shirts, got one of Eli's burping cloths and proceeded to burp his son.
Six Hours Later
Tina walked into her home and noticed that it was eerily quiet. She walked in the living room and didn't see her husband nor her son anywhere. so she checked the bedrooms, without any luck. She started to worry until she walked into the kitchen and saw a note that simply said IN THE BASEMENT she shook her head with a smile.
She made her way down the steps to the basement and could faintly hear the sounds of Baby Einstein. When she entered the basement a smile graced her lips. There laid out on the sofa bed sleeping, was her husband shirtless, Eli on his chest also sleeping in nothing but a diaper with his Daddy's hand on his back, pillows on each side of Noah. She went and picked up her son, but as soon as the baby left his chest Noah sprang awake.
"Eli!" Noah started to panic cause he couldn't see his son.
"I've got him, hun." Tina said.
"When did you get here, babe?" Noah said while he wiped the sleep from his eyes.
"About ten minutes ago."
"Did you enjoy your day with Kurt and Rachel?"
"Yes, it was very relaxing."
"That's good." Noah nodded.
"Did you enjoy Being Daddy?"
"Yeah, kinda. I have to get the hang of it."
"Noah"
"Yeah babe?"
"Where is your shirt, and Eli's clothes?" Tina asked with a chuckle, noticing how her boys are both shirtless, well in Eli's case onesie-less.
"Oh well my shirt is on the table. I took it off because when I tried to feed him he kept spitting it back on me, it was gross. Plus he kept spitting up on it. Same with his onesie."
"Okay, well come on let's go put Eli to bed and then we can go to sleep."
"Gladly!"
AN:/ Writing this was fun.