Sis, you're finally home! Listen, I need to talk to you about something- hey, get your hand off my- Ow! Off my shoulder! It still stings. And stop staring at my eye! It's… ouch… still black…
No, it wasn't bullies. I've told you before that no one bothers me. I mean, yeah, there's Jacob, but it wasn't him. It wasn't anyone! I didn't get in a- okay, that's a lie. I got into a lot of fights. Too many fights to count. But that's what I wanted to talk to you about.
No, wait, don't call Mom and Dad! They won't understand. Hell, I doubt you'd understand. I don't even understand everything!
Don't look at me like I'm insane, Sis. It's been a long… long time. Just… just sit down, alright? Get a drink. It's going to be a long story. Just stop looking at my eye like that. It doesn't hurt much, honest. Get me a drink, too, while you're at it. I think my throat's going to be raw from talking so much.
Yes, it is that long of a story! Water, please, a big glass! You know why it's so long? Because it involves those games we both love to death. Yes, Pokémon! Yes, seriously, Pokémon! Finally, there's that smile I love seeing so much. When you hear what I've been doing the past few months, you're going to be so jealous.
…oh god, months… it wasn't really that long was… No! No getting sidetracked. It'd only confuse you, and I want to remember as much as possible. I need to start at the beginning. Go through my whole journey from beginning to end. Otherwise you won't understand…
…Stop interrupting, or I'll never get through my story. I'm still gathering my thoughts! Alright. Alright… I went to Kanto – yes, that Kanto – and I traveled all throughout the region. I did, and of course Garrett did. If you call him later, he'll collaborate. He won't know as much as me, but he'll know enough. But how did I get to Kanto? I have no idea... How did I get back? No clue! It just happened! I didn't question it for long, so you shouldn't.
Okay, back to the story. I had a team of Moemon. A family, really, we grew that close. Really close… Oh, Moemon? Yeah, sorry, they're just human girls dressed like Pokémon who can use Pokémon moves, have Pokémon abilities, Pokémon characteristics, and evolve like Pokémon. Functionally Pokémon, but they're human.
…Why aren't they just Pokémon? Hell if I know, Sis. I didn't choose the universe; I just lived in it. Oh man… if the Pokémon universe was like the Moemon universe, we would've been traumatized as children. Let me tell you, the fucked-up shit I saw would turn anyone's stomach. I… I really might need a psychologist. Look at my face, Sis. I'm serious. It was awful at times.
Stop looking at me like that! I'll get through this story. I need to tell it to someone, at least to confirm that some parts were real. Who knows? Maybe I'll figure out it was all in my head. Maybe I am crazy!
Just… just sit down. Listen to my story, okay? The memories are starting to come back. All the things we did. The losses, the triumphs, everything.
I'll start at the beginning. The very beginning. Sit back, Sis, relax, and I'll tell you about what happened this past afternoon. A story about…
…my adventure with Moemon.