Bones and Jim walked into the rec room late night on the enterprise and found it full to the brim with crew who were all watching a small stage which appeared to be housing some kind of karaoke competition. Spotting Sulu, Chekov, Uhura, Scotty and Spock at a table in the corner Jim and Bones pushed their way over to the table and sat down. "Ev'nin fellas," beamed Scotty, "some of the crew decided a good ol' fashioned karaoke would raise spirits a little." "I can see that," Jim intoned, "that guy's not bad but I would have murdered him back in Iowa." "Wait, what… you sing?"spluttered Uhura suprised. "Well, he claims he can," inserted McCoy, "but I have yet to see proof." "Nah…." Said Jim, "wouldn't want to embarrass anyone!"
The bridge crew turned to each other then a scheming look in their eyes. "Jim, if you get up on that stage and sing well, I will give you…" Bones pulls a bottle out of his shoulder bag and waves it about with a flourish, "this bottle of Silurian brandy." "Doctor," started Spock, "Silurian Brandy was banned Stardate 2238 because of its hallucinogenic properties…" here, Bones held up a hand to Spock and merely said, "can it hobgoblin." He then turned back to Jim who was eyeing the proffered bottle with a calculating look, "so Jim, what'll it be hmmm? Brandy or Pride? If you really can sing it'll be no problem and you'll get a little somethin' outta it. If you can't sing we get a whole load of enjoyment and a little teasin' material!" Without another word, Jim got up and wound his way toward the stage. Instead of going to the track player, much to everyone's surprise, he sat instead at the piano nestled at the corner of the stage mainly for decoration. Jim turned the mic towards him and said, "well, I got a bet going, I sing you guys one song and I get a large amount of illegal liquor," the crew laughed good humouredly, "so I'm gonna sing you an old terran song called 'Piano Man' by Billy Joel…a few alterations of course." At that Jim smiled, turned towards the piano keys and started to play a tune. He paused then leaned into the mike and began to sing in a strong clear voice, and with more than a hint of mischief in his eyes.
It's nine o'clock on the Enterprise,
The Bridge Crew shuffles in,
At the head is my First Officer,
Who still will not call me Jim.
He says, "Captain that would be illogical,"
"Cease asking at once,"
He just stands up straighter, no expression, the traitor!
And calls me, "Captain," for months.
Jim deadpanned the first two lines of his second verse in such a perfect impression of his First Officer that the entire room dissolved into laughter, save Spock of course, who merely tilted a brow. Jim looked up from where he was hunched over the piano, caught Spock's eye and winked before turning back to the keys.
La la la, de de da,
La la de de da,
Da da.
Jim looked up to his crew and gave his best smile before continuing to sing in a much stronger tone.
Sing us a song you're our Captain Jim,
Is what my crew have implored,
So for one night only I'll humour you,
And sing 'till my throat is quite sore!
At this chuckles spread through the room in ripples as Jim looked up at his best friend and Chief Medical Officer with an unmistakable glint of mischief in his eye. Everyone present heard a quiet, "aww, hell no," from Doctor McCoy as Jim turned back to his mic and belted out the next verse.
Now Bones, CMO is a friend of mine,
He might seem as grumpy as heck,
But I definitely know what'll make him smile,
Shoving a hypospray in my neck!
At the mention of hyposprays Jim took one hand from the keys for a moment and mimed stabbing his neck with a bug-eyed expression, then placed a hand over his heart pretending to faint. The crew once again laughed at their Captain's antics and looked to a cringing Bones.
He says, "Jim I sure like to cause you pain,"
"And laugh at your vast allergies,
But even with your face twice its normal size,
I still think you are the bees-knees!"
Jim nailed Bones' southern drawl and raised his eyebrows up and down with an 'I'm so awesome' shit-eating grin at the last line. McCoy yelled out, "so not true," to which the crew, quite used to the interactions between their Captain and CMO, merely laughed. Jim looked up with a mock-pouty expression before launching into the next verse.
La la la, de de da,
La la de de da,
Da da.
Now Sulu and Chekov make quite a pair,
Rarely seen apart,
You'll often see them sitting holding hands,
And it strikes a chord in my heart,
The Captain wiped away a mock-tear as he looked up to see the, happy but embarrassed, face of his two crewmen.
Uhura is one hell of a linguist,
And though we weren't introduced well,
I liked her the second I heard her say,
"Do you have sex with animals as well?"
At the last comment a whole wave of hilarity ensued, as the entire crew fell apart laughing at their Captain's faux-indignation and Uhura's laughing face. Even Spock managed to look amused without altering his usual expression.
As the sounds of the laughter slowly died out, the crew watched as their Captain launched into a solo piano interlude. It was actually pretty impressive; when they considered that before this song they had not even known the man had any musical talent. The notes moved in towards the chorus as Jim sung;
Sing us a song you're our Captain Jim,
Is what my crew have implored,
So for one night only I'll humour you,
And sing 'till my throat is quite sore!
Of Course! My engineer Scotty,
With the best accent I've ever heard,
He also makes enough moonshine booze,
To leave even my vision blurred
"Aye lady, that be true," Scotty chuckled with the room as Jim did an impression of himself drunk, pulling a cross-eyed expression and swaying at the piano stool.
That just leaves your beloved Captain,
Who once was an Iowan Hick,
Of course some say that I haven't changed,
And still think I'm a colossal prick!
The whole room erupted as Jim pounded away at the piano, quite enraptured with their Captain's antics and almost hilarious at his referral to himself.
La la la, de de da,
La la de de da,
Da da.
Sing us a song you're our Captain Jim,
Is what my crew have implored,
So for one night only I'll humour you,
And sing 'till my throat is quite sore!
Captain Kirk wound up his song with a flourish of notes, stood up and bowed to tumultuous applause. He walked back over to where his still laughing bridge crew were standing and held up an expectant hand to Bones who deposited his bottle of Silurian brandy in his hand. "Well Jim, I don say you've outdone yourself …" Bones managed between chuckles, "you managed to leave the green blooded hobgoblin speechless!" At this everyone swivelled to face Spock who was indeed string quite gormlessly with his mouth agape. "Well," Jim began, "I daresay I'll have to sing more often."
A/N: Well guys, thanks for reading, this was heaps of fun to write, and I'm gonna keep it as a one shot. I hope it wasn't too ooc or inaccurate, but as I enjoyed writing it I hope you liked reading it too.
Please review and tell me if you have anymore ideas that you want me too write?
*Hugs* and thanks for reading guys!
Rosanna =D
Disclaimer: Nope it's not mine (Star Trek or Piano Man) I own nothing, zilch, nada, rien. Except a healthy appreciation for Kirk and Spock :P.