Icy eyes met soft brown ones. She flinched under his stare. 'What is his problem?' Beckett thought to herself. She had no idea what she could have done wrong. She didn't miss his birthday, she didn't miss Alexis's birthday, and she didn't miss Martha's. "Hey Castle?" she asked hesitantly. "What." He responded flatly. "Do you want to sto-" "I have things to do." He responded and started walking off. She glared at his back, and then ran after him. "Castle what the hell?" she said harshly. He was not getting away that easily. He turned around and squared his shoulders, glaring at her. "You don't get to be mad at me, Detective." "What are you-" she started but was interrupted by his mocking tone. "Oh I don't know, maybe the fact that you lied to me? I think that's enough reason to justify being angry." "Lied to you? About what?" and then it dawned on her. What she said to that Bobby guy. Was he listening? She ran her fingers through her hair. "God Castle, I am so..." "Sorry. Yeah. I know." She flinched at his icy tone. "Look, I get it. You don't feel the same. And I'm okay with that. You didn't have to lie to me and string me along. I just…I need some time. I'll call you." The words she said to him last summer were like a slap in the face. He pushed the button to close the doors and met her gaze. He felt a stab in the chest when he saw her tears. She swiped at them furiously, not wanting to be seen having a breakdown. She turned on her heel and ran towards the break room. "Hey, where'd Writer Boy run off too?" Esposito asked. He noticed her red rimmed eyes and set his coffee down. "Um...I don't know where he went, he had something to do?" she ended the statement as a question. Esposito walked up to her. "Kate, did her hurt you?" she shook her head furiously. "No it was…it was the other way around." She started to cry again. "I'm sorry." She said. He shook his head. "You don't have to apologize for being human, Beckett. I remember when Lanie broke up with me, God I was devastated. I cried, Beckett. And I felt so weak. But Cas…somebody told me it was just me being human. He convinced me that there are things worth fighting for and if you really feel strongly about something, you have to fight for it. And win it. Because it's not just going to chase you down the halls. He's not going to wait forever, Kate." She blinked at him and her eyes widened slightly. "Oh my god, Esposito." She flung her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "Thank you." And she ran out of the room, leaving a very surprised but touched Esposito. He shrugged and walked down to the morgue. He was greeted by a very enthusiastic M.E. who flung her arms around his neck. "Oh Javi, the worst thing happened today," she sighed into his neck. He pulled back. "What happened?" he asked worried. She smiled. "Castle finally got his act together and walked out on her. Maybe that will bring down her "walls". If that doesn't, Im'a have to kick some detective ass. He smirked. "She just left to go pledge her love to him." She laughed. "Good. Now you get the hell outta my morgue." She kissed his cheek. He mock-saluted her. "Aye aye, captain!" he marched out of the morgue
Beckett gave the cab driver a tip and opened her door. She stood in front of Castle's building for a while before walking inside with her head down. "Ah, Detective Beckett. Good to see you!" the doorman greeted her. She nodded in response but kept her head down. She pushed the button on the elevator and leaned against the wall. When the elevator doors opened with a ding, she sighed and walked down the hall to his door. She raised her hand to knock when the door flung open and Alexis Castle threw her arms around Beckett. "Kate thank God you're here." She breathed. She pulled back and looked the detective in the eye. "You need to talk to him. Now. He's in there drinking and yelling and stuff. He loves you and you obviously love him so just get in there and tell him everything. My guess is there are some things he has to tell you too." She hugged the detective again. Kate stood there in shock while Alexis hugged her. It took a while for the feeling to sink in but eventually, Beckett hugged back. Alexis pulled back, suddenly very serious. "It was wrong of you to lie to him. Especially since you almost died in his arms, and then you did die in the ambulance. It was scary for everybody. You, me, Gram, Dr. Parish, Espo, Detective Ryan, and Gates. It was terrifying for my dad though. And then you "forget" all the things he said to you? You're lucky I love you enough not to slap you. Or him for that matter. What matters now though, is right now. And right now. Only you can convince him of it. So." She kissed her on the cheek. Kate stared at the young Castle and hugged her again. "I am so proud of you." She whispered and ran into the loft. "Castle?" she asked quietly. She heard a loud crash and walked into the kitchen space. She found castle sitting on the floor, a broken shot glass on the floor beside him. He didn't look up when she stood in front of him, so she slid down and sat next to him, shoulder to shoulder. "Hey." She nudged him out of his trance. He looked at her, his eyes softening before he remembered what she did to hurt him. "Why are you here?" he asked. "I'm here to explain." She said softly. He stared at her with a cold expression on his face. "I don't need an explanation. Your actions were explanation enough. I'm fine Detective Beckett." She winced at the use of her title. "Castle…" she started but he cut her off. "I don't need an explanation." She rolled her eyes. "Castle just…" "I DON'T NEED AN EXPL-" Beckett cut him off angrily. "No Castle. Sit down, shut up, and listen. I heard you. In the cemetery. I heard everything, I remember everything, and, in fact, I never forgot. I thought that if I didn't tell you I knew, I would be safe. From hurt, from love, I don't know, just…safe. It was wrong of me to not tell you. I should have told you but I was scared. So scared Castle…" she ended the speech in a whisper. He snorted. "Scared of what, Detective? From what I remember, you were the one lying in my arms, bleeding out while I pledged my love to you. I thought you were going to die. And when you lived, I thought something was going to happen. When you told me that you forgot everything that happened, I was mildly relieved. And then come to find out, you remembered all this time. Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me you didn't feel the same about me?" Kate had tears in her eyes. She swiped them and in the process, smeared a little eyeliner. "What do you mean, I don't feel the same? Castle, the reason I didn't tell you was because I love you so much. It scares me how much I love you so I was protecting myself from getting hurt. I wanted you; I just didn't want you to be disappointed. I'm damaged goods Castle." He had his head between his knees and he looked up. "Beckett. You should leave." She gasped a little bit and her eyes burned. "Castle. I'm not leaving until I finish my story. I made a promise to you daughter that I fully intend to keep." "Now you keep promises." He rolled his eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?" she said, her voice an octave higher. "What it means is we're partners. That's like a promise itself. A promise to trust and be trustworthy. I don't know if I can trust you." She blinked furiously. Her voice dropped low. "You said always." A tear escaped her eye. His eyes softened a fraction and he wiped the tear from her eye. He sighed. "Don't cry. You can yell, scream, anything but cry." She frowned. "Why not?" he looked at her. "You really don't know, do you?" he cocked an eyebrow. "Know what?" he sighed. "You don't know how much it hurts me to see you sitting there crying because of me. And then I think about what you did and I get mad. But you're over there crying and I feel bad for being mad. And then I get mad for feeling bad that I'm mad. It's a never ending cycle." He rubbed his eyes. "Follow me. I have something to show you." She followed him to his study. "Turn off the lights." She flipped the switch to the lights in the study. Under her breath she said "nox". He smirked. "Did you just quote Harry Potter?" she sighed. "Yes. I did. Now can we get on with this?" "Oh right. Okay. Um." He turned on his projector. Beckett gasped at the sight and sat down fast. "I've been working on your mother's case. This guy, Smith, convinced me to get you off the case so you wouldn't get hurt. He said he was a friend of Captain Montgomery's. Your mom needs justice and I know how important her case is to you so I worked on it. I didn't get very far, but…" he trailed off as he saw Beckett's face. It was ghostly pale and her eyes shone with unshed tears. "I am so sorry Kate." She looked at him, but there was no anger in her eyes. Only defeat. She threw her hands onto her lap and sighed. "I'm not mad, Castle. I'm not even that upset. I'm hurt that you didn't include me but what I did to you was ten times worse. I'm sorry." He looked at her in disbelief. He had told her to back off her own mother's case, worked on it, didn't tell her anything, made her cry, and she was apologizing? This woman was unbelievable. He crossed the room in one bound and gently cupped her cheeks. His lips brushed hers in a soft kiss. He looked her in the eye and whisper "I love you." She smiled shyly (which he thought was totally adorable) and said it back. "I love you too, Rick." "It's Castle. Hearing you call me Rick is like hearing Batman call himself Superman. " she smiled and kissed him again. "I love you Castle." He smiled against her lips. "That sounded so hot." She pulled away and playfully smacked his shoulders. "Shut up." He laughed. Alexis cautiously peeked around the corner. She caught the eye of Detective Beckett and saw her nod in agreement. Alexis came around the corner and squeezed her way between the pair. "So. Everything good again?" "Everything's good again." Castle assured her. She leaned her head onto Beckett's shoulder. "Good. Now I can call Lanie and tell her it worked." Castle looked up at his daughter with both shock and admiration. She kissed her dad's cheek and winked at the detective and flounced out of the room. Beckett looked at Castle. "Alexis and Lanie tag-teaming? Lord help us all." She groaned and leaned her head on Castle's shoulder. He kissed the top of her head. "I just can't wait until you and Alexis get Espo and Lanie together." She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Yeah. Well." He laughed. Yep. Everything was good again.
~fin~