I'm sorry. Really, I'm sorry I haven't updated in longer then I can even remember. But if you you're still with me, you can expect regular updates from now on otherwise I have to buy you all a Starbucks. I swear to JK on that! But yeah, I do apologize greatly! So if you're still with me, you've waited a few months, I'm sure you can wait a few more days!

And as you walk into her house, full of optimistic thoughts and thinking that maybe, possibly she can be the one. You walk in and you see her and you smile and it lights up your face and you can't remember the last time you were as happy to see the blue of someone eyes or the freckles across their nose.

And then she smiles back at you and you never thought you could ever find a smile as beautiful as that and then, she opens her mouth and says,

"I like your shirt."

And then you're transported to that place where I was in your arms and pulling that same shirt off your bare freckled shoulders. Where the honey of my eyes was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen and the curve of my waist was perfect to the fit of your hand. The night where we ended and began, where we all ended and started anew. That night that is seared into your mind, your bones, and your very soul. The night you will never forget, that you replay constantly though you desperately wish you wouldn't. The night where I made you mine but never let you make me yours.

And then she sees all through this, she looks in your eyes and you look back. But what you find is not honey eyes and not pale skin but it is exactly everything that you think you want but realize you don't. And then she says,

"What's wrong? "

And you look at her and you try and try to want her, to find the happiness in seeing her eyes, but you can't.

"Nothing. Happy Birthday Pansy."

You try to smile but you create a grimace and you see in her eyes that she knows, that she always knew but she didn't care. She loved you so much she thought her heart would burst and she didn't care that you were mine, that I had made you mine. I will forever be the one seared into your bones, and I will forever be the one that owns your heart. She knew and didn't care, she loved you regardless. And even though you didn't know then, you know now and you hate me with everything you can muster up to hate me. But you know, you know that you never could and never will and that makes you want to hate me all the more.

And as you sit there, sat at a table full of people looking at you both, smiling at your 'love' and how 'happy' you are. You sit there, celebrating her 21st birthday with a girlfriend that will never be quite what you want and you try and make yourself love her. But you can't, as you try all that comes to mind is honey eyes, pale skin and brown hair.

And then as you walk her to her door and you stop at her porch, before she opens the door, she turns to you and tugs at the collar of your shirt,

"So how does this remind you of her?"

She doesn't use my name. She hates the look in your eyes when she does. And you cringe back at her words and shake your head because you can't say my name either. She runs her hand through her hair and laughs miserably. And at that sound, you want to hate me more than you ever have before because you know what is going to happen and you know that you can't stop it even if you wanted to. But you don't. And you manage to scrounge together all the courage you can muster and open your mouth,

"I don't…love her."

And she smiles at you, full of pity and you hate that she does. You hate that you know the pity isn't just aimed at you, but also at herself.

"You never were good with emotions Draco, never good at reading them. Not even your own."

And as she turns to open her door, you grab her arm.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

You stumble over your words making you seem guilty, but you're not. You're innocent; you didn't mean to because you didn't know. You didn't know and now you do, you wish more than anything you can take it back, but you can't. She turns away from you and opens her door, you see her shoulders shaking and you know what's going to happen but you know you can't stop it. Because you don't want to, even though you know you should.

"I'm sorry too."

You hear her whisper and as she walks into her house, and as she shuts the door, she doesn't even look back at you. You stand on her porch for a minute, thinking of how this could've been so right, how things would've worked out if you hadn't fucked it all up. If you hadn't fallen in love with me.

You walk away from her house and you walk back to your manor and think of me. You think of my honey coloured eyes. Of my pale complexion. Of my long brown hair. Then you think of him, of his bright red hair, his overly large nose, his uneven sized lips. And you think of him, and you think of me and you think of me wrapped up in his arms, and our lips touching, while I whisper his name and not yours and you clench your fists. You know I am not yours and I ever will be. I am his but you are mine.

You think of me for the next month, no pauses, I am always on your mind. And then, as you walk down the street, thoughts wrapped, covered with me, you bump into a girl with golden eyes, pale skin and long brown hair.

"Hello Draco."

And there in front of me is the boy I thought I loved, the boy I saved, the boy I made, but I realize you're no longer a boy, but now you're a man. And for the first time since that night I told you I would never be yours, I smiled at you. You smiled back.

"Hello Hermione."

Your face lights up when you smile you know.

Hi, so I thought I would just clarify a few things because my friend said this was super confusing, awkward. Anyway, this is written in first-person from Hermione's point of view, kind of like she is writing a letter to Draco. Because well basically that's what it is, this was originally just meant for me, something I personally wrote to someone but then was told it would be perfect from Dramione and just changed names and features and made a more...happy ending I guess.

Point number two: this is a oneshot, I don't have any plans right now to add any other chapters or anything, so as much as I appreciate you following the story, you may not get another chapter for a good few months/years but more then likely I'll never write another chapter because I like where this ends, you can imagine they get back together, that they say hello then leave or form a friendship, it's totally up to you.

Point three, I love reviews *hint hint* and then you can tell me that if you like this kind of writing then I'll post more of it, idk, just I like to know what you think, so yeah...

And now I shall bid you adieu, thank you for reading!