TW: Self-Harm references, Bullying references and Self hatred. Niff, Klaine and Flad. Enjoy!
Something was clearly wrong with Jeff. The skipping of meals, not wanting anyone he didn't know anywhere near him, being quieter than usual and wearing long sleeved shirts in the middle of a heat wave. But when he refused to dance Nick knew that something serious was going on.
Any decent friend would be immensely concerned if someone as joyful and happy go lucky as Jeff was acting completely different but Nick was aware of how broken he was on the inside. Before Dalton Jeff had received so much shit from the other students because he was gay. The constant teasing, accusations, beatings. Forcing Nick to stay in the closest to protect Jeff, he needed someone to protect him and if they knew he was also gay then they were both fucked.
As much as Nick tried to stand up for his best friend it didn't change the way they were if anything it made it worst so Nick broke one of his promises for the first time and told Jeff's parents. Imeaditly Jeff was to be transferred and Nick's parents allowed their son to go with him so they wouldn't be apart.
Dalton was perfect. No bullying, fun lessons and dorms to stay in. Nick and Jeff even found a show choir and made 15 new friends or rather 16 when Kurt joined in early 2010. They finally both felt like they belonged. Nick came out to everyone and surprising no one seemed to care except for Jeff who was overjoyed.
But now here they were sat together on a couch in the choir room listening to Wes ramble on and on about harmonies and who should sing certain parts. Nick took this an opportunity to look over at Jeff. He was sat with his legs pressed incredibly tightly together, hands in his lap and he looked close to tears. Something was defiantly wrong.
Nick racked his brain trying to figure out why his best friend was acting this way. He really couldn't think straight, Jeff was in danger and he couldn't just sit there and think about it, he had to act. Without thinking he stood up out of his seat causing all the other warblers to stare at him with confusion even Jeff.
"I know you need to talk about these things Wes but I really have to sing a song today"
"Warbler Nick, I appreciate your enthusiasm but unless its's an emergency then you can't speak during the council speech"
"It is an emergency" Nick replied subtly glancing over at Jeff so Wes would hopefully drop it. They all knew something was wrong and if Wes thought this might help Jeff he would let Nick sing. Hopefully.
"Very well. The floor is yours" Nick tried to smile but the thought of Jeff's despair wouldn't leave his mind. Get yourself together. Be there for him. Don't just pity him.
He walked into the middle of the room and thought quickly about what song to sing. Then it came to him. Screw music, this is an acapella group.
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too
Jeff looked up from the ground and at Nick. Beginning to become aware of who the song was for.
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Jeff began shuffling awkwardly in his seat. This worried Nick, he just wanted to hold him and tell him that everything would be okay but he had to keep singing.
So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
Nick finally worked up the courage to stand in front of his friend and look straight into his eyes.
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
He took steps closer towards Jeff who's eyes were now flooded with tears.
And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
The others warblers began singing echoes. They were all in shock about how Jeff was acting. No of them had even seen Jeff fall apart in front of them.
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Nick took a deep breath after finishing. Jeff had stood up abruptly, grabbed Nick's wrist and dragged him out of the choir room straight to their dorm. Not saying a word on the way there. Tears still leaving his eyes.
When they finally reached the door Jeff unlocked it and pulled Nick inside shutting the door behind him and sliding his back down it. He wrapped his arms around his legs and started crying uncontrollably. Nick instinctively sat next to him and pulled Jeff into his arms. The blond pressed his face into Nick's chest but his arms remained by his legs. Unusual.
After about half an hour Jeff pulled away slightly less of a wreck than before.
"I'm so sorry I kept this a secret from you, I didn't want you to worry" He mumbled concerning Nick even more which he didn't think was possible.
"You can tell me anything Jeffy"
"I'd rather show you" Jeff replied bringing his right hand over to his left arm and he started to pull down the sleeve.
Nick's eyes widened he already knew where this was going. There on Jeff's left wrist were a series of slits. Some looked old and some looked freshly cut with dried blood surrounding them.
"Jeff..." Before Nick could say anymore Jeff was leaning on him again but his arms were around his neck this time. He returned the hug and started sobbing with him. Another few minutes passed before either one of them said anything.
"Why do you do this to yourself. No one bullies you anymore" Nick asked stroking Jeff's back reassuringly.
"I hate myself"
Nick found it near impossible to register what Jeff had just said. In his eyes Jeff was perfect. Not a single flaw. He loved Jeff for everything he was and saw no reason for him to hate himself.
"You shouldn't"
"Really Nick. I'm ugly, overweight, annoying, boring and stupidly in love with someone who will never love me back" Jeff sniffled holding back more tears.
"Don't lie to me. You're beautiful, slim, entertaining, interesting and you have no clue that the other person might not love you back. Just tell them and don't have a fear of being rejected. I'm always here for you." Nick said as much as it hurt him that Jeff may get into a relationship with some guy.
"Okay then" Jeff nodded wiping the tears from his eyes and looking into Nick's hazel ones. "Nick, I'm in love with you and have been for three years."
Silence. Nick sat there in shock. Jeff loved him.Not some guy. It felt like the weight of the world, no screw that the universe, had just fallen of his shoulder.
"Guess what?" Nick paused "I love you too" In a matter of milliseconds Jeff had grabbed Nick's shirt and pulled him towards him colliding his lips with Nick's. Their lips moved together at the same pace slowly increasing the pressure until Jeff pulled back. He smiled. For what felt the first time in years where in reality it was only two weeks.
"Will you be my boyfriend?" Nick asked intertwining his fingers with Jeff's.
"You expect me to decline!" Jeff gasped jokingly before kissing Nick again. Nick smiled into the kiss. He seemed to be back to the same old Jeff in seconds all because Nick loved him.
But Nick's smile faded when he came to a realisation. Jeff noticed and pulled away. "What's wrong Nicky?"
"If I had confessed my feelings sooner you would never of done this to yourself. I'm so sorry Jeffy" Nick was about cry again but he felt Jeff's arms wrap around his waist.
"No. Don't think like that. I'm fine and I promise you I will never cut again"
"Really?" Nick said looking back into his boyfriend's eyes. Jeff nodded.
"Unless for some reason we break up"
"That would never happen" They both snuggled against each other taking in the feeling of the others embrace. "I think we should go back to warbler practice. They are probably wondering if your okay"
"Good idea Nicky" They both stood up grasping each others hands and headed back down to the choir room in silence but this time it was relaxing not stomach wrenching.
As they entered the room Trent was the first to notice their hands but he just presumed it was because Jeff was still upset. That was until they sat back in their place and Jeff put his head on Nick's shoulder.
"HOLD UP!" Trent yelled "ARE YOU GUYS TOGETHER?"
"Calm down Trent" Jeff laughed.
"You're cured! Jeff Sterling is back! All because you two confessed your love for each other and want to spend the rest of your lives together."
"How did you-"
"That's so romantic!"
"Trent you need to relax" Trent shook his head.
"I ship you guys harder then Kurt with Blaine, Fish and Chips, The Lorax and The Once ler"
"Wait! You ship me with Kurt?" Blaine complained "pfft, That would never happen"
Wes rolled his eyes at Blaine who seemed to have rather upset Kurt.
"Don't deny it!" Trent said "And Niff, I want dibs on your first man!"
"Trent that's a long time away" Nick laughed leaning his head on top of Jeff's.
"I still want in!"
"Jeff we're all glad you better now. Congratulations for finally realising you have been in love for an eternity and Blaine we all know you love Kurt" Wes banged his gavel on the table twice. "Meeting adjourned"
Everyone began scrambling out of the room to enjoy the sun in the holiday that they currently had.
"Come on Jeffy, lets go outside" Nick said walking towards the double doors that had been opened.
"It's too hot and I'm not taking off this shirt" Nick remembered. He may of stopped cutting but he still had scars.
"I have an idea. Come with me" He dragged his boyfriend up to their dorm. Boyfriend. He could get used to calling Jeff that.
"Put a short sleeved on" Nick said while opening their dorm door and gently nudging Jeff inside.
"But-"
"Trust me" Jeff nodded slowly removing his shirt exposing his bare torso to Nick. Nick took this time to admire his toned chest and his abs that lead down to his- Damn his hormones! Tits, Girls, Grandma! Thank god. That always worked.
"What now?" Jeff asked smirking since he knew exactly what had just happened inside the brunette's mind. He loved what he did to Nick.
"Cover the scars with wrist bands, and loads so they don't move down and uncover them" Nick replied snapping out of his daze.
"You my love are a genius" Jeff kissed Nick's cheek before opening his bedside table and shoving as many wrist bands on his left arm as he could.
"Careful. You might cut of your circulation" Nick laughed wrapping his arms around Jeff's waist from behind.
"Let's go." He grabbed Nick's arm and pulled him out of their dorm slamming the door shut with his hips.
Once they had reached the open doors Jeff stood still before them shutting his eyes, taking in the cool air.
"Miss the air on your arms?" Nick asked nuzzling Jeff's neck. Jeff opened his eyes.
"Uh huh"
"It will be cooler when we are actually outside" Nick chuckled. They walked out together and sat with the warblers by the stream that ran along the bottom of the school.
"Jeez Jeff how many wrist bands do you need?" Wes laughed gesturing to Jeff's wrist.
"I like them" Jeff shrugged stretching out his legs. "And why do you care? Are you suddenly into fashion. Woah you somehow get gayer everyday." Wes was going to insult Jeff in defence but given his past state he decided against it.
"Just wondering" Wes said also shrugging. Nick glanced at Trent who was eying Jeff cautiously. Trent was extraordinarily smart when it came to people's actions or emotions. A very useful trait but Nick was beginning to wish that he had never been blessed with it. He could tell Trent was suspicious about Jeff and really didn't want Trent to confront him alone. It might be enough to slip him back into habit. He guessed he could just have to spend even more time with Jeff. Not that he was complaining. He loved the boy with all his heart.
"Look there's a rainbow!" Nick exclaimed pointing into the sky "It knows Wes, It knows"
Everyone laughed apart from Wes and Jeff who was laughing uncontrollably with tears spilling from his eyes.
"Will you guys drop it. I'm not gay!" Wes complained his voice raising in pitch just making everyone laugh even more.
"Fine, Let's talk about Kurt and Blaine's relationship!" Flint suggested as Thad leant back on his chest.
"No! Will you guys stop!" Blaine pouted shoving his hands in his tight jean pockets. "Talk about Niff since they actually are a couple."
"I'd love too" Trent squealed. Nick rolled his eyes at Trent's antics. "So have you, you know, yet?"
"Trent, We've only been together for about an hour." Jeff laughed. Trent smirked.
"But you're going to aren't you"
Jeff hit Trent's arm playfully. But when Nick looked away Jeff winked at him causing him to squeal. It was Jeff's turn to roll his eyes.
The bell rung to signify dinner.
"Really? We've been here for like 10 seconds!" Flint complained turning of the portable stereo that had been playing All Time Low and carried it inside.
All the students made their way to the main hall at different paces depending on how good of a chance they had at getting good seats. The warblers didn't have to worry though because all the other students knew that the long 20 seated table at the back of the room was the warblers and had been since 1992. So the warblers had time to walk together slowly and talk about 'stuff'.
"So how's your science project Thad?" Cameron questioned running up to join the rest of the warblers.
"Cameron it's the spring holidays, That project was in freshman year. You never handed it in"
"Oh well" Cameron said moving to walk next to Nicholas and they began talking about 400 days.
"You looking forwards to school in three days?" David asked walking away from Wes and his 'heterosexuality'.
"Don't remind me" Jeff groaned.
So that's it, we hope you enjoyed your night, we are Paramore. Sorry, I get carried away. This was the funnest thing I've ever had to write. Sorry if it sucked. English is not my first language ;)
P.s. I have some questions for you guys.
1) Do you want smut? ( My friend will write it cause I can't)
2) Do you want Wevid bromance or romance?
3) Do you want flashbacks of Nick and Jeff's high school experience?
Thanks xxx