My Last Goodbye
by Dazzle15
I think I've explained myself in the AN at the end of this one shot. I know this may cause offence, and I don't want it to. My reasons are explained at the end.
Nothing, or nobody, will be able to describe what you feel when you know your death is imminent. There is nothing that can be said to those around you. No feelings that can be truly shared. You can't accept your fate, and you you cannot hope you will survive. You know your death is coming, and you are stuck in some kind of in-between. Death within a life.
You may not be able to hope for survival, but you can hope for many things. It's all that really fills you in the last moments. You hope it will be quick. You hope it'll be painless. I'll admit I hope these things, but not selfishly. I hoped for these things for those who will have to deal with this loss. I did it for Ally, and Caroline, and my Mom, and even my Dad. They shouldn't have to suffer because of me. I can't handle that. They deserve happiness. Ally deserves happiness.
She will always be my soulmate, but evidently, I am not hers. There is someone else out there who will bring her happiness. That will give her the world, and everything she deserves.
I'll watch over her, if I can. I'll protect her, if that's what I can do. I'll love her with everything I'm allowed.
That's another thing you explore in the face of death. What comes after life? Is is cliché? Do you float on up to heaven? Hell? Do you end up in blackness? Do you end up in a place where you can watch over those you love? Are there ghosts? A bright light? Nothing? Nobody will ever know until it happens, and then it's impossible for them to tell you what comes after life on Earth.
I can honestly say, I hope for that. An afterlife, I mean. I want to live on, somehow. I want to be able watch over the people I love. Ensure that they can move on, and have a good life. I want to make sure that they are okay. It's Caroline, and Ally mostly. My father is strong. He'll be okay, I think. He is my Dad after al. My mother will struggle for a while, like she did with Michael. I hope she will be okay, she'll be strong for Caroline. Of course, what I think can be the opposite of the truth. But, I hope I'm right. I need to be right.
Caroline.
I have no idea how she will deal with losing another brother. At age eleven, she shouldn't have to deal with losing one brother, let alone two. I hope she's okay. I hope she can move one. I don't know how she'll deal with this. Not just losing me, but everything that's happened. The huge loss, not just national, but international. I'm sure she will be strong. I'm sure she'll be okay, and that, eventually, she'll move on with her life.
I hope she has an epic life. I hope she gets into a good art school, or is successful in whatever she does. I know it cliché, but it's true. Most of all, I hope she's happy. I hope Dad will spend more time with her. Learning from his mistakes, and all that. She's all he has left, other than his job. At times – well most of the time – it seemed more important than his kids, but I hope that changes.
Ally, the last thing I want on my mind when it ends. I hope she gets everything she wants in life. I hope she gets everything and more. She deserves so much, more than me and more than this world can ever offer her.
All I can really tell you is that hope is the last thing you truly feel when you know death is coming. I hope that I can see everyone move on. I hope they can be happy. I hope for peace. I hope for my peace, and there's.
As I see the smoke. As I feel the pain, I fight the blackness. I know my loss is inevitable. I'm fighting a one way battle. I will lose and thousands more will lose. I feel selfish. I have spent my last moments worrying about me, not the others that will lose everything and everyone. My heartbreaks for those in this building and those throughout the world who will have to deal with this tragedy. Tragedy isn't even the right word, there are not words that can describe what has happened here. There's nothing that can ever express the pain that will be felt over the world.
My last thoughts before I lose my battle with the darkness, is Ally, I love you. Ally, remember me.
Tuesday September 11th 2001 will forever be in the heads and hearts of those, not just in America, but worldwide. The near 3000 deaths will forever be remembered, and sadden the hearts of those everywhere. The War on Terrorism will remind us all of the tragic loss, but nothing will ever provide justice to those who suffered from the attacks. It's a true disaster, and words will never be enough to express the event of the emotions around it.
I know this is still a sensitive subject. And that it will always be a sensitive subject. It's tragic, and horrible, and nothing I could ever write will describe the huge sadness that fills the hearts of everyone when they think about this moment. I mean absolutely no offence by anything said, and my heart goes out to anyone who lost someone in the attacks.
I was hesitant to post this, because of the sensitivity around the subject, but I felt the need to share this. I just wanted to know what Tyler was thinking when it happened.
Again, I'm sorry if this causes any kind of offence, and I need you all to know I mean no offence by this at all.