Darling Daphne,
I've imagined giving you this letter over a thousand times in my head. Everytime I've imagined your response, wether it be you laughing in my face or you coming round shouting the odds. But for the life of me I still can't decipher what it might be. I mean,it might not be either of those. We used to know each other so well. I know that there has been a lot of tension between us over the last few months but I want that to change. I've never been good with words so I thought I'd put it in a letter.
Ever since we broke up I feel like I've been cut in half and and I can't find myself. I was so consumed by the fact that you were in my life, I never really knew what to do about it. I guess that's where all the problems started. My whole life I never really felt like I belonged. So I guess that's why I was jealous. All I wanted was for someone to talk to,someone to have fun with and someone to be there for me.
I remember when people used to think we were so different,but when we got together, that changed. We were inseperable and had so much in common, even though it might not have been conceivable on the surface. I wish that it were like that again. The way it used to be. But I know that it can never be like that. We have changed so much since we met. I guess the reason I am writing this letter is because I mostly remember the good times. I remember when we just used to talk about stuff and we knew when the other was upset. I remember when we just talked on the phone for hours and we couldn't believe the time when we finished. We used to laugh and cry and be there for each other. I don't what changed. I guess we did.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want us to be together again. I know it will take it lot of time and healing. I know it has for me, I don't know about you. If we have changed so much over the last nine months maybe we could start all over again.
I know a lot of ugly things have been said in the past but I want the slate to be wiped clean. I love you so much and I don't want to lose you. I already feel sick, imagining what your reaction might be. Just know whatever happens, I'll always be here for you and you can always count on me.
Yours Eternally,
Niles.
xxx