A/N: I saw a cartoon/video thingy that a girl made on YouTube and thought I'd apply it to Harry Potter. I think he has pretty damn good reasons to say fuck you to a lot of people and so does Neville and Luna. I added Draco just 'cause.
Disclaimer: I don't fucking own Harry Potter or Another F.U. Song.
WARNING: EXTREME LANGUAGE! (OOC!Neville,Harry,Draco,Luna,Hermione and Order, Dumbledore, Ron and Ginny bashing) No Umbridge. Don't like, don't read, simple as that.
Harry was bored and pissed. Fucking Dumbledore and his Order of the Fucking Flaming Chickens! Dumblefuck had him locked up at the Dursleys' again with the Order 'guarding' him. He scoffed. More like making sure he stayed at the Dursleys. Thank god that the Dursleys were out and left him at their house alone.
He snuck out of his room and into Dudley's to use his computer. He got onto the Internet and went onto YouTube, for the hell of it, typed in 'fuck you song', he looked at the videos and clicked on one. He watched and when it finished he was laughing his ass off. Damn, that song explained his feelings towards Dumblefuck and Voldefuck and their fucking followers very well. An idea popped into his head that made him grin a bit insanely. Eh, who the fuck cares?
Harry ran towards his room and quickly wrote four notes and sent them off with Hedwig. Oh he was going to enjoy this so much. Harry grinned again, mischief, evil, and revenge clear in his grin.
Harry only had to wait a day before the replies came and he smirked a very Slytherin-like smirk when he read them. He immediately wrote out replies and a meeting place so he could show them the song and they could rehearse. Oh, the Opening Feast at Hogwarts is gonna be fucking awesome! He sent them off and started writing down the lyrics to the song on four different pieces of paper and a list of things on another. He played the video again and this time recording it while it's playing. He was laughing again when it finished but not as much as the first time.
A few days later he grabbed his black leather jacket and put it on then grabbed his wand and stuck it in his combat boot and walked outside, pretending he didn't know that the Order was watching him and ignoring the stares he felt on his back.
He walked to park to a secluded part of the park woods where he saw three figures standing there talking to one another and another one coming up. It was Neville, Luna, and Draco with Hermione walking up. The three Gryffindors and one Ravenclaw had been friends with Draco since second year, first year for Luna. They never told Ron or Ginny because they knew they wouldn't accept it. Harry knew that Ginny was planning on using love potions on him and Ron was being paid to be his friend, not that Harry had a fuck to give (he ran out years ago), he got the goblins to take back any and all money and items taken from his vault without his permission. He can't wait to see the looks on everyone's faces when they sing the song.
Harry smirked when Hermione reached them and started passing out the lyrics to Luna, Draco, and Neville then gave Hermione a different piece of paper, then pulled out a recorder and set it in the middle of them. They sat down around it, looking expectant. Harry pressed play and listened to the song for the third time while watching the reactions of his closest friends. By the time the song ended, Luna, Neville, and Hermione were on the ground laughing their asses off and Draco was outright grinning manically.
"This is what we are going to be singing. Hermione the paper I gave you is a list of spells I need you to cast when we sing. Neville, Luna, Draco, and I will be the ones singing the song. I highlighted your parts. Luna you're blue, Neville you're yellow and Draco you're green. I'm red and how about we get Blaise to play drums and Theo to play guitar?" Harry instructed. His friends nodded.
"I'll get Blaise and Theo to play I just need to borrow Hedwig to send a letter. Harry nodded then whistled. Hedwig flew towards him and landed on Harry's arm. Draco wrote out two notes and gave them to her. She hooted, nipped Harry's ear then took off. Harry watched her fly away before turning back to his friends.
"Now since the Order is going to notice that I've been gone a while and will try to find me, we'll meet up here to rehearse. Hermione you practice those spells when you get to Sirius' house okay?" They nodded. Harry grinned. "This is gonna be fucking awesome!" The others grinned.
"Fuck yeah it will!"
~*Time Skip-Hogwarts Opening Feast*~
Bumblefuck, I mean, Dumbledore stood up to begin his speech and as soon as he opened his mouth, Harry nodded to Hermione who flicked her wand and made all the candles and lights go out leaving the Great Hall in complete darkness. Harry rolled his eyes when he heard some girls (and boys) scream. It's just darkness, there's no need to fear the dark, just what's in the dark, he grinned, 'like me.' He thought. He gathered up his friends quickly and set everything up. When they were done and the idiots were finally remembering that magic did exist and they had wands, Harry signaled to Hermione to start the spells. She did so, smirking.
A spotlight appeared on the singers and band members. Harry smirked and opened his mouth, "Hey, kids it's time to use the f-word."
(Harry, Draco, Neville, Luna, All)
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu-
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu-
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-
Fuck living, fuck dying
Fuck laughing, fuck crying
Fuck this song but mostly fuck you!(They flip off Dumblefuck who gasps in outrage)
Fuck love, hate, and friends
Fuck following trends
Fuck this song can't wait 'til it ends
Fuck everything but fuck you the most (Harry flips off Dumbledore)
Fuck everyone but fuck you the most(Luna flips off the Ravenclaws)
With a big rusty pole or a splintery post
Yeah fuck you the most fuck you
Fuck old school
Fuck new school
Fuck not cool
Fuck too cool
Fuck hip and ironically lame
Fuck giving advice
Fuck trying to be nice
Fuck you and you know who you are (they looked pointedly at their bullies and enemies)
Fuck everything but fuck you the most
Fuck everyone but fuck you the most
With a big rusty pole or a splintery post
Yeah fuck you the most fuck you
(Harry, Draco, and Neville began saying it to each other, Luna stares at them)
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck You~
Fuck You~
FUCK YOU! (They finish while flipping the bird at old Dumbles)
Fuck yeah! Fuck you! (Blaise and Theo)
Fuck you (Luna says this to them)
After they finished the song, they turned to look at Dumbledore. He was silently fuming and was red in the face. It was silent for a while before Severus started clapping, followed by his House and the other teachers and their houses, minus Ravenclaw, 'cause they're a bunch of stuck-up, know-it-all, bullies. Well, except Luna 'cause she's just that awesome. Afterwards, Ron and Ginny (the only Gryffindors not clapping) got up and stomped over to Harry and began screeching about what the hell he was doing working with slimy snakes and hanging around Loony Lovegood and the baby Neville. Harry glared at them before he and his true friends pulled out their wands and started hexing the stupid redheads.
"Miss Granger, Miss Lovegood, Messrs.' Malfoy, Zabini, Nott, Longbottom, and Potter, detention for hexing two fellow students for no reason!" Dumbledore shouted at them, a triumphant smirk on his hideous old face.
Snape and McGonagall stood up, glaring at the old fart. "100 points each from Mr. Weasley and Miss Weasley and two weeks detention!" they shouted. Students began cheering for the two professors while glaring at the Headmaster. Harry and his friends stopped hexing the two Weasleys and instead turned to glare at the Headmaster.
"No reason?" Harry repeated incredulously. "You're giving us detention for hexing these two prats for no reason?" Everyone could hear the rage in his voice. "We do not hex for no reason! They were hexed due to the fact that they insulted my friends! We have one thing to say to you Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore!"
They said the next thing in perfect unison, "FUCK YOU!"