By Astra Leo
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
There Will Be Bashing Of: Crabbe, Dumbledore, Filch, Goyle, Mrs. Norris, Snape, And Voldemort.
Get Voldemort a teddy bear. Charm said bear permanently to keep telling him Filch is the Chosen One.
Tell Dumbledore to stop being Voldemort's boy toy.
Tell Crabbe and Goyle that they are adopted and their real names are Thing 1 and Thing 2. (Thanks Dr. Seuss)
Braid Snape's hair while he's asleep…Dye it rainbow color first though. (Make sure said dye is permanent)
Get Filch member ship in an anger management class.
Charm a fire hydrant necklace (One that attracts Pit-bulls) and permanently stick it onto Mrs. Norris.
Get Voldemort a Magic 8 ball and shouts out the song "They're Coming To Take Me Away" all day and all night.
Tell Dumbledore that Filch is the most powerful Wizard in the world.
Every time Voldemort enters a room have Kreacher start whistling "Flight Of The Bumblebee".
Tell Snape to get himself into rehab.
Get Dumbledore a date with the Giant Squid.
Get Snape a date with Cousin ITT, and or Lurch. (Thanks Addams Family)
Tell Voldemort to stop playing with the big boys and that Gozer is tougher than he'll ever be. (Thanks Ghostbusters [1st Movie])
Tell Voldemort that Trigon is tougher than he'll ever be. (Thanks Teen Titans [animated—TV series])
Keep bashing J.K. Rowling's characters.