Notes: This is my first story about two people making love, so I hope you like it!
Daryl And Carol's New Beginning
Daryl had just finished eating the dinner that Carol made him. Carol loved watching him eat and couldn't help but smile. Everyone was ok. He was ok and that meant everything to her. She watched him walk away, but she didn't want him to go. Daryl stopped in his tracks, as if he could read her mind. He decided he wants to tell her what really happened. Even if it were for her own good, lying to her felt wrong. He turned around and went back for a hug. He figured it might be the last one he gets after she finds out he lied to her and why Glenn is dead.
"Carol there's something I need to tell you." She smiled at him which made it that much harder. He loved her smile and the way it lit up her whole face. She rarely showed it though unless it was part of her act she played with new people they meet, but those weren't genuine.
"Ok Daryl. Come back in." Carol sat down next to the fireplace again. "Come sit Daryl."
He shook his head no and turned his back to her. She walked up to him. "Daryl what's wrong? You know you could tell me anything." He stood there quiet. "Please Daryl." She grabbed his hand. Please turn around. He turned around slowly, still holding her hand. She started to tear up at the sight of him. He looked like a broken man and there were tears streaming down his face. She grabbed his other hand. "Please talk to me." She wanted nothing more then to take away the pain. She led him to the fireplace and they sat down. They were quiet until Daryl finally broke the silence.
"I lied to you. Negan killed Abraham with a baseball bat."
"What?" She asked, starting to tear up. He started crying. "Who else Daryl?" She asked, putting a hand on his leg, trying to calm him.
"He killed Glenn too and it's my fault," he said as he cried hysterically now. Carol couldn't believe what she was hearing. Abraham and Glenn are dead is bad enough, but Daryl actually thought that it was his fault.
"No Daryl. I don't care what happened or what you think. You are wrong."
"I broke one of Negan's rules, so he punished me and everyone else by killing Glenn," he said barely able to speak he was crying so much.
"I know you Daryl. These deaths kill you and even more so when you think it's your fault."
He sat there crying.
"I'm sorry. Glenn was your family too."
"I can't believe he's gone." Hearing herself saying it out loud made it real and she broke down crying, bringing her hands to her face not wanting Daryl to see her crying.
"Come here," he said still crying and he held her tight and she held him just as tightly. They cried and held each other for what felt like forever. They pulled away slowly and were now face to face, inches separating them from kissing. Carol reached up slowly and placed her hand on the side of his face, caressing it with her thumb. He closed his eyes at her touch, a tear falling down his face as he did so. She wiped it away. She took advantage of his eyes being closed and slowly moved in to kiss him and she almost did, but he opened his eyes, realizing what was about to happen. "No!" He got up quickly and his back was turned again. "I'm sorry I can't."
"I'm not sorry Daryl. I don't know why it took me so long to realize how I feel, but tonight, seeing you like this, it hurt me to see you in so much pain. All I wanted to do was make it better. After we parted and I looked into your eyes, I knew. That's when I saw something different. That's when I knew I loved you," she said crying. "That's when I touched your face and when you closed your eyes I thought you might have felt it too, so I tried to kiss you." Daryl didn't know what to do or say. He knew that he loved her too, but he didn't know how to say it. "I went to far didn't I?" He stood there, still not knowing what to say. She didn't go too far. He wanted this too. "Daryl? Say something please." He needed to breathe, to think, but his mind was going a mile a minute. She grabbed his arm, startling him. He spun around so fast she lost her balance, falling on her side and yelling out in pain when she hit the floor hard. Daryl ran to her side.
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Are you ok?"
"I'm fine Daryl. It's ok. I'm just a little soar." He helped her up and he started pacing.
"No, it's not ok. I hurt you like Ed." Carol grabbed him by both arms, stopping him from pacing. He was looking down, not able to face her.
"You listen to me now Daryl!" She yelled to get his attention and it worked. He looked her in the eyes. "You are nothing like Ed. You hear me. You are the exact opposite. Your kind, gentle, and I know you would never hurt me intentionally. That's why I love you." "Stop saying that!" He broke out of her hold.
"Why!" She yelled back in frustration.
"Because I don't deserve your love," he said almost in a whisper.
"Yes. You deserve that and so much more. You've protected me and the others asking nothing in return."
"I think you have that backwards."
"No Daryl. I think I've got it right. After everything you've gone through before and after the apocalypse, it's the one thing you deserve the most."
"You don't understand." He turned his back to her again.
"Then make me. Please Daryl. Look at me. Stop turning your back on me. Daryl you can talk to me." He turned around with his head down.
"I can't loose you too," Daryl said. She put her hands on his face and made him look at her. When he did he had tears in his eyes. She wiped them away and smiled.
"Your not going to loose me. You're stuck with me Daryl Dixon." He gave her a small smile. She kissed him on the forehead and then both cheeks. There they were again so close. Daryl got lost in her eyes and how they sparkled in the dim lit room. Then it hit him like a rock. If anything happened to her then it would be too late to tell her or show her how he feels. But how? I don't know anything about this love stuff. Sure I'm starting to, with this new found family, but this was a different love all together. He was terrified, afraid that this would mean hurting even more if he lost her, if that's even possible. The most I have done is making out with a couple of girls. What if I'm no good? I am far from experienced. What if I disappoint her? Carol wanted to kiss him, but she hesitated, looking in his eyes for any sign he might turn away again. His heart sank. Carol saw something change in that moment. She kissed him. She closed her eyes. She couldn't believe this was happening. She was afraid if she opened them that it might have been a dream, but when she opened them he was still there. He had his eyes closed. The kiss was brief and when it was done Daryl still had his eyes closed. Carol watched him take a deep breath and then slowly open his eyes. Carol smiled, grabbed his hand, and started walking toward her bedroom, but he didn't follow. She put a hand on his face. "It's ok if you're not ready Daryl."
"I want to really, it's just …" She gave him a kiss.
"Whatever it is I understand. I'm nervous too, but we'll get through this together."
"Alright." He smiled and she smiled back at him and they headed to her bedroom hand in hand. Carol sat on the bed, still holding Daryl's hand. She patted on the bed, silently telling him to sit down. He sat down. "I've never … I …" She put her finger to his lips.
"It's ok Daryl. I'm not much more experienced then you. It was pretty much one sided when it came to Ed."
"I'm sorry," Daryl said.
"I don't want to talk anymore Daryl. I want to feel something else besides sadness and hate. I want to feel you." She put her hand over his heart and it was beating so fast. She smiled. "And I want you to feel me." She grabbed his hand and she put it over her heart. It was beating just as fast. "See. Were both nervous." Carol moved her hand to the back of his head, running her fingers through his hair. Daryl did the same, running his fingers through her hair and pulling her toward him. She was pleasantly surprised as he took the initiative. They kissed slowly, wanting to take their time with each other knowing that this might be their first and last time together the way the world is now. While still kissing they stood up and then Carol broke the kiss and slowly ran her hands up Daryl's arms and stopped at his first button like asking permission to take his shirt off. Daryl answered her by giving her a kiss. Carol started to unbutton his shirt and then slipped it off his shoulders and down his arms. He felt vulnerable. She could sense his vulnerability and put her hands on his chest, and leaned in for a kiss. They became more confident with their kissing, so this time it was more passionate and frantic as if it were going to be their last kiss. Daryl put his arms around Carol as did she, deepening the kiss.
They separated for a moment, just staring into each others eyes. "We don't have to Daryl. We could wait until you're ready."
"We don't know if we get another time." Carol saw his eyes brimming with tears. "I need you and I love you," he said as a tear fell and she wiped it away starting to tear up herself. Hearing that was music to her ears.
"I need you too Daryl and I love you." She was so in the moment she just noticed the bandage he had on. "What did they do to you?" She asked with sadness and anger in her eyes. She gently touched his bandage.
"It doesn't matter."
"It does to me," she said putting a hand on his face.
"Dwight shot me." She was fuming.
"I'm going to kill him," she said. Daryl was trying to hide his anger, but it showed in his body language. His fists were clenched along with his jaw. She could feel this and ran her hand along his jaw, trying to tell him to relax without words then she grabbed his fists unclenching them. He held her hands.
"Thank you." He brought both her hands up and kissed them. She smiled. "I want to kill him too Carol, but enough talk about assholes like Ed and Dwight. Tonight's about you and me."
"Daryl your right." She slipped off her flannel and started to take off her top, but Daryl put his hand on top of hers, stopping her. She wondered if maybe he didn't want this after all. Didn't want her.
"Let me." She smiled. He lifted her shirt and she raised her arms up to help him. He took a deep breath. She was wearing a black lace bra she happened to find when she was snatching clothes up at The Kingdom. He walked behind her to take off her bra then he started to panic. He had never unfastened a bra before, but he always thought how hard can it be until he saw four rows of hooks he had to work with. He was so nervous his hands were shaking and it made him fumble even more. "Damn bra!" Carol tried to hold in her laughter, but she couldn't help it and she laughed out loud.
"I'm sorry," she said still laughing. "You're just so cute it makes me love you even more knowing you can't undo my bra." She turned around and Daryl was blushing. "It's ok, really," she said before giving him a kiss. "I think it's my turn to take over now." He was in shock at how fast she undid her bra. Carol smiled at his expression. He took over sliding the straps off her shoulders and kissing each one as he did so. He ran his hands down her arms until the bra fell to the floor. He kissed her shoulder and up her neck, to her cheek, then her mouth. "That feels amazing Daryl." They held each other, both half naked. Daryl loved the way she felt against him. They were caressing each others back when she felt his scars and immediately stopped. Daryl's breath hitched. He thought she stopped because she was disgusted by what she felt, but she stopped because she wasn't sure if he wanted them to be touched and she was in shock. She knew he was abused, but she didn't know the extent of it. She pulled away from the hug and kissed his forehead. He could see the sadness in her eyes. "I'm so sorry Daryl," she said touching his face.
"I'm damaged. I understand if you don't want me anymore," he said with his head down. "Listen to me Daryl Dixon." He looked at her. "I don't care if your whole body is scarred. I love you unconditionally with all my heart." They started kissing again and Carol reached for his belt and took it off. Then he reached for hers, doing the same while still kissing. They parted from their kiss and looked at each other knowing what was coming next. Carol unbuttoned his jeans and pulled down the zipper. She grabbed his hands and put them on her jeans. He unbuttoned her jeans and pulled down her zipper with a shaky hand. "Deep breathe Daryl," she smiled and he nodded his head and took a deep breath. She took off her jeans and her underwear came off with them. He stepped back to get a better look at her and his heart almost stopped. He looked at her from head to toe and decided what he loved the most were her freckles and he was determined to kiss all of them, but he also noticed her scars. Carol knew he saw them because of the change in his expression. He looked sad. She wanted that expression gone, so she said, so Mr. Dixon, do you approve? Her voice brought him back and he found a new confidence when she said that.
"Hell yeah!" She laughed at his reply and he stepped forward, picked her up bridal style, and spun her around while she still laughed.
"What's come over you Daryl Dixon? I've never seen you like this before."
"Like what?"
"This happy."
"I have every reason to be. I have a beautiful woman from the inside out who loves a man who is damaged from the inside out."
"What did I tell you about that Daryl?"
"I'm sorry. I can't help it. I don't see myself any other way."
"Well by the end of the night I hope to make you see what I see. That inside and out you are absolutely perfect." He laid her on the bed and he finished getting undressed. When he was done she said, "And by the way, I absolutely approve you too."
"Stop." She smiled. He crawled over her, rested his body on top of hers, and wrapped his arms around her and she did the same, moving her hands up and down his back slowly, feeling his scars again, but this time she didn't stop and he didn't feel insecure and his breath hitched for a good reason this time. He loved feeling her soft, gentle, and loving touch unlike so many painful ones he's experienced through out his life before he met her. Carol heard his breath hitch and she stopped, remembering the first time his breath hitched.
"Are you ok Daryl?"
"Yes. It feels amazing. You feel amazing." They kissed again and Carol ran her fingers through his hair.
"Daryl can you do something for me?"
"Anything."
"Sit down on the edge of the bed." He did as she said, but he was starting to get nervous again, not knowing what to expect from her. She wanted to see his scars and reassure him that she didn't care. She crawled up behind him and sat so her body was pressed against his back and her legs off of the bed. She wrapped her arms around him and started kissing his neck.
"That feels nice," he said. She got back on the bed and was on her knees. She now had a good view of his back and Daryl knew she could see his scars.
"Do you trust me Daryl?"
"Always." She traced his tattoos with her finger and then when she was done she stopped for a moment and he became more nervous, his muscles starting to tense. She could see this and she held him again, kissed him on the cheek, and whispered in his ear relax. He immediately closed his eyes and took a deep breath and that helped, but not as much as her warm touch, her soft lips on his cheek, and her whisper in his ear. She parted from him again and started tracing his scars. He looked behind him and she smiled at him. He gave her a small smile back.
"I'm going to do something else now and I want you to tell me to stop if you feel uncomfortable."
"Ok." She started to kiss each scar. He jumped when he first felt her lips not expecting that, but then he closed his eyes and began to take slow, shaky, breaths and his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. He was really enjoying the sensation her kisses were causing and it was getting harder to breathe. She loved the way he was breathing. She knew he loved it as much as she did. She kissed past his scars and down his back.
"How was that?" She knew he liked it, but she wanted to hear it from him herself. He got up on his knees in font of her on the bed and leaned in to whisper in her ear that felt so damn good. She smiled.
"Good." They started kissing again and Carol grabbed the back of his head, pulling him with her as she laid back on the bed and he laid on top of her as they continued kissing.
They stopped and stared into each others eyes. Carol pushed back some hair that was falling around his face. Suddenly she saw sadness in his eyes. He got up off the bed and started pacing again. "What's wrong?" She got up and stopped him and he sat down on the bed, staring at the floor. She was standing in front of him, trying to give him some space. "Did I do something wrong?"
"Never. It's just … we don't have …"
"Condoms?" She said smiling. He nodded his head and looked up to see her smiling.
"What?"
"Ed made me get my tubes tied. I can't get pregnant." He took a deep breath of relief and happiness.
"Come here," he said. She stepped forward and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her to him and he laid his head against her stomach. She ran her fingers through his hair. He turned his head and started kissing her stomach. She tightened her grip on his hair and inhaled deeply, letting him know she liked what he was doing. She got down on her knees to be level with him and they kissed. He stood up and reached out his hand to her. She took it and got up. He pulled her into his arms. Daryl laid her back on the bed and he laid himself on top of her again, continuing where they left off. They made love and explored each others bodies with their hands and their mouths, every touch, kiss, caress, and movement feeling incredible and even more so because they have only experienced physical and emotional pain from the people who were supposed to love them. When they were done Carol put an arm around Daryl and rested her head on his chest after giving it a kiss. Daryl kissed her on the head and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you Carol."
"I love you too Daryl." They closed their eyes and fell asleep.