This is just a short, one-shot fill from a prompt on the LiveJournal Star Trek Kink Meme. The actual prompt is:
The Enterprise comes across a planet where a situation similiar to Tarsus IV is/has taken place.
Kirk holds his own in front of the crew, though most can sense somethings wrong, but once he and McCoy are alone, he falls apart.
H/C, Kirk/McCoy
"Where is he?" McCoy asked as he stepped off the transporter pad.
"I don't know...he didn't say anything. Just practically ran out," Scotty answered. He knew exactly who the doctor was talking about. Jim had held it together very well these last few days, but those who knew him, even if they didn't know what he'd been through, they could see that by the end he was holding himself together by will alone. McCoy stopped himself from following long enough to cast an appraising glance at the man. He was unnaturally subdued. Everyone was - but on Scotty, it seemed more noticeable. He was never subdued.
"You okay?" McCoy asked.
"Oh, I'll be fine. I've just never seen anything like that, and hope I never do again," Scotty answered. McCoy nodded. It was unbelievable that such a situation could happen twice in their lifetime...and for Jim to be the victim of one and arrive too late to stop the other. I have to get to him.
"You come see me if you need to," McCoy said. "But now I gotta--"
"Go, go," Scotty waved him away. "He didn't look okay to me either." McCoy nodded and left the transporter room. He knew Jim would have made a beeline to his quarters. McCoy hurried to follow.
When he arrived at Jim's quarters it was dark, but it wasn't quiet. He could hear retching coming from the bathroom. His heart aching, he hurried in to the small space. Jim was on the floor, and he was a mess -- sweaty and much too pale.
"Jim," he said quietly, kneeling down beside him. Jim spit into the toilet and dragged a hand across his mouth. He was shaking, and tears streaked his face. Bones reached for a washcloth and left Jim's side to wet it in the sink.
"Bones," he croaked. "All those people...all those kids. How could this happen? How could we not know?" His anguished heaving started again and McCoy could do nothing but be there. There were no answers. There was no reason for this. And still, it had happened. And again, the ones sent to help were too late. Jim slumped down against the wall, and McCoy sat with him, gently tugging him to his side.
"The survivors are going to be fine," McCoy said quietly, offering the only comfort he could. Jim grunted beside him.
"Like I am?" Jim asked, and McCoy knew he wasn't talking about his physical health.
"You are fine. It's normal to be sickened and sad, and so damn angry you wanna crack heads together. You were the Captain when everyone needed you to be Captain Kirk. It's okay to just be Jim now."
They sat together quietly, McCoy listening to Jim's breathing calm and feeling his body follow suite. Jim couldn't be the captain all the time, and he didn't always need his CMO. Sometimes, Jim just needed Bones.