Tony had saved every text message from Steve. From the moment that the Accords came about, he knew they were fine.. and would continue to be fine. They had to be fine.
But then, bit by bit, half of Tony's family turned away from him. The fight got so bad that his best friend and Brother was now in a coma.
When the genius mulled over what Sam had said, he knew he would end up going along with the provisions. After all, there was no one else left to go with him. And so Tony flew to Siberia, desperate to gain his family back.
"Did you know?"
"I didn't know it was him."
"Don't BS me, Did You Know?"
"Yes.."
"Don't take another step in my direction I can't be trusted around you."
Tony couldn't even process what was happening. It had all devolved into chaos so fast. Tony punched Steve and then a huge deathmatch ended with Tony lying on the cold ground, with his former family turning his back and walking away, leaving the genius to die alone.
The letter that Steve sent was just him trying to talk this way back into Tony's life, and good graces. After all, who doesn't want a billionaire to pay for everything you might ever want?
Tony didn't know who his real friends were.. for all his life, he was surrounded by liars, traitors and backstabbers. The one thing that could help him go on living, was the prospect of Captain America, and how he would never condone the beatings that Tony took daily.
But now, he knew that none of the stories were true.. and he didn't and maybe never knew who Steve Rogers was.
He still had so much to learn.. he kept rereading the letter from Steve and then when he'd had enough, he Watched as it burned.
Steve had gone and published his responses to the Accords. He told the whole world to back off because he clearly knew better than 114 countries and counting.
But it wasn't just for the Avengers that he was doing this for. No. It was all for The Winter Soldier, aka James Buchanan Barnes, And while trying to clear the assassin's name, Steve had ruined their lives. Heaven forbid someone whisper, "Bucky's part of some scheme" Their enemies would whisper, So Steve had to scream.
But Tony knew all about whispers,he knew that he was fighting for the attention with a dead man.. only now, the dead man was actually here.. The genius knew he was considered naive in his people skills. But he knew that wasn't true, because he had seen people Around Steve. He saw how they all fell for his charms, and the legacy of Captain America.
Tony was done trying to please the Avengers, and fit inside their cookie cutter molds. He would erase himself from the narrative, and let future historians wonder how He had reacted when finding out his life was a lie, and how Steve had broken his heart..
He would have thrown it all away, all his fame, and money and power, for just one person to stay. But no one did. So Tony resigned himself to watch it all burn.
And when the time came to explain to the other Avengers the pain and the heartbreak that Steve had put him through, how would he manage to explain what had happened in his heart at the time. How could he talk through all the lies and deceit?
How could they ever accept that this was going to be the thing everyone would think of when seeing his face? That instead of all the good he brought to the world, he would forever be known as the Merchant of Death- the man who was despised by Captain America? This was his legacy.
And to think that all this time he had thought he was an Avenger, one of Earth's mightiest heroes.. He now knew he was just fooling himself. He saw what his reflection truly was.. and it would never be someone worthwhile.
A/N: Obviously I don't believe that Tony is a monster.. he is my all time favorite character.. this is just from his self loathing POV. He is a small bean too pure for the hate he gets.