Should We Call A Therapist?
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Gokudera had been a mess the entire time. It had been expected that he would react in the most horrible way but nobody expected it would be this bad. His care for Tsuna was by far the clingiest and probably the strongest, even if only a bit above the rest. The guardians all had a point where they thought he might need a therapist.
So when he heard that his beloved boss was engaged, and to Xanxus of all people, he completely broke down.
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The first stage was denial.
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"There's no way. Obviously, the letter was messed up." He said when he received the papers that told them. He looked at Yamamoto who shrugged.
"I doubt someone can mess up that badly." He said. Gokudera suddenly glared and all the friendship and love that had built over the past years seemed to have come crumbling down as the silverette gave him a murderous look. Yamamoto was surprised. It'd been a while since Gokudera was actually angry at him rather than play angry or act tough angry.
"W-Well, maybe it's from the enemy!" Gokudera shouted. Yamamoto raised an eyebrow and picked up the envelope and pointed at the front.
"But it has a seal and everything." Yamamoto pointed out. Gokudera grabbed the man by the collar and snarled.
"So what you're telling me is that you think Hime-sama would marry a jerk like him? I'll fucking kill you, bastard."
"Maa, maa. Calm down. I don't think it's very likely but it's probably the truth. We have to accept her decision." Gokudera let go of his lover and facepalmed. He looked back at Yamamoto with harsh green eyes.
"You're an idiot! I have to get the scientists to check this. I bet it was that shitty Cartello family. "Gokudera scowled. He ran off with the paper, yelling angrily about how this was utter bullshit. Yamamoto looked after Gokudera's running figure before sighing and walking in the opposite direction.
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The second stage was anger. And this anger was not directed at anyone in particular. He was angry at the world and thus, the world had a hellish week as payment.
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"Oi! What the fuck are you doing with my shit?" Gokudera asked the 15 year old boy who was in his room, using his laptop to watch vines. Lambo turned to face Gokudera.
"Ahodera! Yo." He raised a hand in greeting. Gokudera seemed to get angrier at this and kicked the teenager.
"Don't fucking 'yo' me! Get the fuck out! I have to help Hime-sama with her engagement par-" He froze for a second in his yelling before he seemed to get even angrier. His face went red with rage. "You piece of shit. I bet it's your fault! Did you force Hime-sama to do this?! I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you!"
"What? I don't even know what you're talking about." Lambo said, backing slowly to the door so he could escape.
"So you thought you could ignore this situation? Huh?! You think Hime-sama getting married isn't important? Eh?!" He shouted pulling out dynamite. Lambo squeaked and ran out of the room, disappearing down the hallways.
"Don't hurt me!" Lambo shouted, tears streaming down his face as he dodged explosives.
"Come back here, you little shit! I'll blow you to Sunday and back!"
Let's just say, when Lambo cried to Tsunahime about it, the woman quickly beat up her right hand man and locked him in his room for three days, only opening the door to give him food and water whenever he asked for it. During those three days, you could hear his curses and practically see the evil aura emanating from behind his door as he helped Tsuna plan an engagement party from his laptop.
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Then came depression after he was allowed to leave his room.
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He lay his head on Chrome's lap, crying pathetically. His voice was thick from crying, making all his S's into Sh's.
"W-woman! It's shnot fair! I don't want her to marry a bashtard like him!" He shouted, wiping his snot on her skirt, causing the small woman to recoil and cry internally about her ruined Versace suit.
"Don't cry. If Boss didn't love him, she wouldn't marry him." She said, trying to pry him off her without hurting his (out of control) feelings. The man turned his head so instead of viewing her bedroom wall, he looked at her face. His grayish-green eyes were like waterfalls, letting so much water leak out.
"B-B-But why l-love him? Why n-not shomeone nice. Like, Bashil? The Shimon dude? Heck, even Hibari ish obvioushly a better choice!" He yelled. Chrome gently stroked his hair, trying to soothe him by humming a lullaby.
It didn't work.
So for those few days, Chrome never opened the door when he knocked on it.
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After that, he isolated himself from the world.
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"Hayato?" Yamamoto asked, knocking on the door gently. Gokudera didn't respond and didn't unlock the door.
"Bakadera. Open up!" Lambo whined, hoping he would open the door if provoked. All he got was a groan of sadness.
"OI! OCTOPUS-HEAD! EXTREMELY OPEN THE DOOR!" Ryohei shouted at top volume, hoping to annoy the man into exiting his room, much like Lambo. He got the same lame response.
"Gokudera-san, please open the door." Chrome said. She was much more confident now and had fully learned their names. "Come on."
Gokudera seemed to move, they heard shuffling before another sad groan and silence. Chrome frowned and stepped back.
"Oya oya. Is the puppy not coming out?" Mukuro sighed, leaning against his trident with a smirk.
"Get the fuck away from my room, Mukuro." Mukuro cheered.
"He spoke! Yeah!" High fives were spread around. Then Mukuro smiled. "I did what I could. Plus, I wouldn't have come if I had a choice." The glance was sent to Chrome who smiled innocently as if she didn't do anything wrong. "So I'm leaving."
Once Mukuro vanished into mist, Hibari arrived. He knocked on the door.
"Herbivore. The omnivore is worried about you."
Immediately, footsteps were heard. Gokudera opened the door slightly, the locks were still in place, preventing him from swinging it open but he could move it slightly. They caught sight of a tired looking green eye, messy hair and a wrinkled suit that he probably slept in the past few days.
"Really?" He croaked in a weak voice. Hibari smiled slightly. Everyone gasped.
'He can smile?' The collective thought raced through their minds. Suddenly, Hibari's foot smashed the door and sent it to the ground, locks and all.
Gokudera was then kidnapped and taken to Tsuna's office, where he was kept for an hour.
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Then they had the engagement party. At this point, he was a hollow shell of himself.
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Someone bumped into him at the drink table. Gokudera turned to them, looking ready to shout but upon actually setting eyes on the person, his eyes softened.
"I'm sorry. I must be out of it today, huh." He said before walking away. From her place at the front, Tsuna looked warily at her right hand man who seemed to just be spiriting around, almost doing things that seem natural and then backing out and being a pansy about it.
"What's up with him?" Xanxus growled from next to her. She whipped her head around to face him and smiled.
"He hasn't taken the news well. I don't think he trusts you yet." She said. Xanxus rolled his eyes and turned away, not bothered at all by that. After watching the rest of her guardians briefly, she went back to focusing on accepting people's wishes for her happy future and Byakuran's whining about not marrying him.
Of course, at hearing that, he was threatened by Xanxus, who brought out his guns, and told him to shut up before he's shut up permanently. Byakuran pouted and flew away to sit with his friends.
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Then for a moment he was back to normal.
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"Omnivore, for running from paperwork, I'll bite you to death." Hibari raised his tonfas. Tsuna shrieked.
"Hime-sama!" Gokudera jumped in front of her, arms out in a defensive position. "If you touch her, I'll blow you up." He pulled dynamite out of his pockets.
Hibari glanced at Gokudera before stepping out of an attack stance. He stalked off, as if nothing happened.
"Hime-sama, are you alright? Should I call Turf-top to heal you?" He said, helping her gain her footing again.
"I'm okay, don't worry so much. I'm just glad you seem okay." She smiled at Gokudera and he looked at her with so much adoration, it made Tsuna confused.
"You're so sweet! I'm not worthy of your kindness or your smiles." He said. Suddenly his eyes went dark again.
"Neither is he..." He whispered
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But soon, he began planning for ways to assassinate Xanxus.
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"Ushishishishi. I found this guy planting a bomb on your throne, boss." Belphegor said, holding up a tied up Gokudera.
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"Boss? Why was Goku-chan trying to put bombs in the steak?" Lussuria asked, throwing a tied up Gokudera to Xanxus's feet and putting his hands on his hips, making his pink frilly apron stand out. (It says "Kiss the Cook.")
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"The storm Vongola is in the mansion. I tied him up and I'm torturing him with illusions. He should be in the training room. I think he was placing bombs in the training dummies." Mammon said as she floated by, Flan trotting along beside her. "I'll need payment for stopping him."
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"Boss! He was trying to snipe you from the trees." Levi said, in the middle of tying up a swearing Gokudera. Xanxus raised a brow, 'No bombs? Weird...'
"With a grenade launcher!"
'Fucking knew it.'
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"VOI! Why are you putting bombs on the toilet?!" Squalo shouted. There were loud crashing noises.
"SOMEONE GET SOME FUCKING ROPE!"
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After the failures, he became very contemplative.
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"Chrome, I'm worried." Mukuro said from the door of her room. Chrome looked up from her phone and paused her game of Candy Crush to look at him.
"Why?"
"I saw Gokudera meditating." He said. He walked over to her and leaned against the wall.
"Eh?" She stood up from her place on her indigo bed. "No way."
"It's true. He was trying to understand the universe so he could understand why Tsunahime likes Xanxus."
They were very cautious of that emotional breakdown of a man afterwards. Very cautious.
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They day before the wedding, he shut down.
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No matter what happened, he gave no response. No smiles, no yelling, no frowns. Not even a noise.
"Oi, Octopus-head! What's wrong?" Ryohei asked. Gokudera just stared into space. The white haired man frowned.
"Hello? Earth to Octopus-head?" Gokudera's eyes stayed fixed on the cream walls of the mansion hallway. Ryohei sat on the floor next to Gokudera and looked at the wall, trying to see what interested the man so much.
"THERE'S NOTHING THERE!" He shouted angrily. The silverette didn't even blink for at least five minutes. Losing his patience, Ryohei stood up and walked off, deciding to report it to Tsuna and let her handle it.
Tsuna was also quite alarmed by this and she asked for help from her tutor and adviser, Reborn. So, following Reborn's sudden and strange advice, she let him be.
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Just before the wedding, he was a nervous wreck.
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He had been sitting with Yamamoto, hyperventilating as his lover tried to calm him. Yamamoto pet his head and said nice things.
"She's actually getting married. She's going to tie the knot. She's going to be chained to him forever. She's going to be stuck with him. She's never going to even think of divorce so there's no escape from this. She's really doing this. Why? Why? Why?" He was talking so fast, Yamamoto barely understood.
"Maa, maa. Think of it this way. She's going to be with the one she loves forever. Maybe one day, we'll see cute little Tsuna's running around the mansion!" Yamamoto said, chuckling. Gokudera looked up at him and teared up.
"Hime-sama..."
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Then at the wedding...
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As Gokudera walked her down the aisle, he couldn't stop the tears falling down his face.
It meant so much to him that Tsuna chose for him to walk her down instead of her father, Iemitsu. He didn't care if people stared at him as they walked.
He didn't care that she was getting married. He didn't care who she was getting married to, in fact. He didn't care that he would always come after this man in her life. He didn't care about the other people in the room. He didn't care about how he looked, sobbing like a child. He didn't care about anything apart from how happy she was at that moment and how beautiful she was and would always be.
All he cared about was how happy she looked as they walked. The way she carried herself with grace. The way her eyes sparkled like gold. The way she smiled like she had never been happier. The way she looked beautiful in her wedding dress.
So, as he walked her down the aisle, he was crying tears of joy. He shared her happiness as not only her right hand man and guardian, but also...
As her friend.
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...He was the happiest they have ever seen him.
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A/N: I fell in love with this story idea for TYL Gokudera. It was created when I was going to try talking about Gokudera if Tsuna died. That was the first paragraph I wrote but then, I realized that this could also work slightly differently and thus, we get Gokudera having a mental and emotional collapse when he finds out Tsuna's engaged.