Swimming
On one warm summer day, Dan Howell and Phil Lester decided to go to the beach. The London weather had been mild the entire week, and since they had a week off from their Sunday radio show, they figured it was time for them to take a break. After all, they had worked hard, and they both agreed that they deserved it.
"Let's check the news before we go," suggested Phil. "There might be something on about nuclear jellyfish or something."
"Nah, there won't be anything. Hurry up, I wanna get there already!" Dan whined. He knew it was going to take a while to arrive there considering their dependence on a bus. Phil shrugged his shoulders, grabbed his bag, and walked out the door behind Dan.
After the three bus rides, the two young adults finally reached the beach. Dan ripped off his tee-shirt and pants to reveal his tight purple trunks. When asked, he would reply, "They're really manly when you look at them from a different angle, trust me."
Dan and Phil set up their beach blankets and lay down on the sand.
"This is the life!" called Phil.
"Viva la vida!" agreed Dan.
"Do you even know what that means?"
"Nope."
The boys stayed resting like this for about another hour before Dan decided to go into the water. He had become noticeably tanner than he was before and thought it was time to cool off. As he walked to the glistening water, his friend Phil admired his butt as he moved with his usual swagger. If asked, Phil would reply, "I'm not gay, I swear."
The second the water touched Dan, he let out a satisfied sigh. He doggy-paddled deeper into the blue water and exhaled. I'm so glad we decided to come, thought Dan. He turned to float on his back. After floating for a few moments, he bumped into something squishy. He curled his toes to try and find out what this item was. This did nothing, so he then decided to look up at this mystery object.
Dan yelled to find that his feet were right on a young woman's chest. An attractive young woman.
Sh*t! Dan mentally cursed himself. Why would you ever do that?!
"Ahem?" Dan looked to see that his feet were still on the girl from whom the sound came from.
"Ah! Yeah, oh my, sorry..." Dan stumbled over his words as he moved to stand in the shallow water.
"Yeah... Um, that's okay... I guess." The girl fidgeted awkwardly.
Suddenly, all thoughts in Dan's mind were on how pretty the girl was. Brown hair, tan skin, light brown eyes... Not too thin, but that didn't matter in the slightest. She was beautiful.
While Dan was studying her face, he felt small movements in the water. The girl's face suddenly paled and she looked as if she had just seen someone decapitated.
"Oh.. Oh my GOSH!" she screamed. "Dude, move!" As quickly as she said that, she swam away. Dan snapped out of his trance and gave a dazed look around, not hearing what she had said.
"Wait, come back! My name's-" Dan was cut off by a sharp grab of something on his arm and the feeling of being pulled down.
"ARRRGGAHLALALPGHHALALH!" Dan screached as he was pulled beneath the waves.
Phil sat up quickly after being ripped from his daydream about Dan's voluptuous hind-side.
"DAN?!" he cried as he saw a disturbance in the water.
A shark had grabbed Dan's arm and was pulling it under. The sharl twisted left and right, up and down. The shark did the hoedown throwdown. The shark gave a right hook to Dan's groin and wrapped him in a head lock. The shark moved to the right, to the left, kicked, and walked it by itself. It did the cotton-eyed joe. It cha-cha slided. THE SHARK SANG. THE SHARK SMACKED DAN IN THE FACE WITH IT'S TAIL. THE SHARK TWERKED. THE SHARK MADE DAN LICK IT'S DORSAL FIN.
THE SHARK'S NAME WAS CARLA. JUST A NOTE.
THERE WAS LITERALLY A SHARK EATING OFF DAN'S ARM OH MY G-
You abruptly wake up. You throw your blankets off and sit up. What the hell? You get up and splash some cold water on your face.
You look around and see your Alpacalypse poster of your two favorite YouTubers, danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil.
Oh yeah, you had fallen asleep watching the Vegas Video. You couldn't believe it. It was unbelievable.
But the shark? Some dream.
You're left with a strange craving for shark fin soup...