Sonic was about to go to his first day of school at "Hedgehogs' School of Chaos and Wizardry". He opened his holographic projector message for the 78th time. Omochao came onto the screen.
"Greetings to -INSERT STUDENT NAME HERE-!" Omochao announced. "We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hedgehog's School Of Chaos And Wizardry! You are to bring a wand and anything else magical you can find at Dyeyourquills Alley. No, really. It can even be a magical tomato for all we care! No, really. I mean, there was this one time, when I found a tomato and I thought it was magical so I brought it to school, but then they banned tomatoes, but that dosn't count since it wasn't magical, and I named my tomato Bob, and when they threw him out I had a funeral for him-" Omochao took a big breath after saying all of the above in one breath. "...Anyway, JUST COME TO THE DAMN SCHOOL! The bus will come to pick you up, SO BE THERE OR ELSE! Bye!"
Sonic tried to stabb the holographic Omochao many times, but just suceeded in going right through it. He had his wand with a blue blur design. He looked around. "Where IS that bus!" Sonic said aloud. The bus fell from the sky and landed on top of him. The door opened to reveal a chao driving.
"Where's the student?" The chao asked aloud. "Maybe I have the wrong address." The bus started to take off. "WAIT!" Sonic yelled. He grabbed the back of the bumper. The bus flew through the sky, and they came to a castle... that was floating in the sky! The bus came to a stop. Sonic hopped off. Everyone started to get off of the bus. Sonic stopped. He saw a terrifying sight. He screamed. "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"SONIC!" Amy squealed in delight.
"NOOOOOO!" Sonic cried out.
"Shut up, faker."
Sonic turned around to see Shadow.
"NOOOOOO!" Sonic cried out again. Shadow pulled out a video camera and some popcorn.
Tails, Knuckles, Rouge, Charmy, Espio, Vector, Cream, and Big also got off of the bus; Big had been too large and had been strapped to the top; Sonic wondered how he could've missed that. They made their way into the castle, where there were many seats at 4 large, long tables. Omochao was at the front of the large hall, floating behind a stand with a microphone. "Welcome -INSERT STUDENT NAME HERE- to the great mall!" Omochao greeted.
"MALL!" Amy's eyes lit up with stars in them.
Shadow raised an eyebrow but said nothing. "Isn't it supposed to be the 'Great HALL'?" Sonic questioned.
"No." Omochao replied. "There's a food court over there, an Old Navy over there, an acessory store over there..."
"Can't believe we missed that." Knuckles muttered.
"You will be sorted into 4 houses; Entering Katrios, Toronto Maple Leafs, Corndogs, and Lesbians." Omochao explained. "This will be decided by the Sorting Banana."
There was silence.
"Come up when I call your name." Omochao answered. "Amy -INSERT LAST NAME HERE-."
Amy came up to the front and Omochao handed her the Sorting Banana.
"Take off a piece and eat it." Omochao commanded. Amy took off a piece and ate it. It grew back instantly. A face appeared on the banana skin. "LESBIANS!" The banana announced.
"I KNEW IT!" Sonic screamed.
"Shadow -INSERT LAST NAME HERE-!" Omochao called. Shadow came up and poked Omochao in the eye. "OW!" Shadow took a bite of the banana. "LESBIANS!" The Sorting Banana hollered.
"HAHA!" Sonic yelled in Shadow's face.
"Sonic -INSERT LAST NAME HERE-!" Omochao announced. Sonic walked out, poked Omochao in the eye that Shadow poked, and took a bite of the Sorting Banana. "OWW!" "LESBIANS!"
"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sonic sobbed. Shadow recorded it all on his video camera.
"Knuckles -INSERT LAST NAME HERE-!" Omochao called. Knuckles walked up and poked Omochao's eye again. "OWWWWW!" Knuckles swallowed the whole banana, peel and all. There was silence, all except for Omochao's wailing.
"Well," observed Omochao, holding an ice pack over his eye, "I guess we'll just have to use the sorting sword." He took out a sword and cut Knuckles with it. "OWW!" A face came into view on the sword. "CORNDOGS!" The sword announced. Knuckles looked at the cut the sword had made. Knuckles grabbed onto the sword and threw it out the window. There was silence, except for the wailing of the chao that the sword has landed in. Knuckles sat down in his seat.
"Errr..." Omochao stuttered. "I guess we'll just have to use the Sorting Bubble gum."
More silence.
"Big -INSERT LAST NAME HERE-!"
Big was still outside, strapped to the top of the bus. Everyone had forgotten about him. He even forgot about himself; he didn't even realize he was there. He thought he was riding a My Little Pony in a meadow.
"Okay then... I guess we'll just put him in Corndogs." Omochao shrugged.
"NNNOOOOOOO!" Knuckles cried.
"Cream -INSERT LAST NAME HERE-!"
Cream came up to the front and chewed some bubble gum. She blew a bubble and a face appeared on it. "Entering Katrios!" The bubble called before it poped. Omochao took the used bubble gum from Cream.
"Espio -INSERT LAST NAME HERE-!"
Espio came up, and Omochao held out the used bubble gum. Espio stared.
"Go ahead, chew it!"
"I'm not chewing used gum."
Vector ran up to the front. He snatched the bubble gum from Omochao's little stubby hand. "Might as well not let good gum go to waste!" He put it in his mouth. There was silence. He blew a bubble with a face on it. The face said, "Toronto Mapple Leafs!"
Espio stood there.
"Alright, alright, cheapskate..." Omochao grumbled, taking out another stick of gum and handed it to Espio. Espio chewed and blew a bubble. the face in the bubble said, "Toronto Maple Leafs!"
"Charmy -INSERT LAST NAME HERE-!"
"Toronto Mapple Leafs!"
"Rouge -INSERT LAST NAME HERE-!"
"Lesbians!"
"Tails -INSERT LAST NAME HERE-!"
"Entering Katrios!'
Everyone had been sorted out. Omochao announced the roommates.
"Sonic and Shadow!"
Sonic cried and Shadow taped it on his video camera.
"Amy and Rouge! Tails and Cream! Charmy, Espio, and Vector! Knuckles and Big!"
"NOOOOO!" Knuckles screamed. "Why...! WHY!"
"Have fun!" Omochao said in a freakishly happy way. Everyone went to their rooms, Knuckles and Sonic considering suicide.