The Deaths of Kurt and Karen Smith Wagner.

From the memories of Michael Macon Wagner, as told to Stephanie Tilby in an interview on the anniversary of "The Human Triumph."

Well...I-...I don't really know where to start...I haven't tried to think about it much...but when you see something...like that...you can't really help it...it just stays with you, and you can't get it out of your head...

I do remember how it started out that day...momma took me into New York City, 'cause she wanted to get summer clothes for me. You know, one'a those typical "mom" things...Everything was fine, until she got this call on the cell phone. I remember standing there, in the middle of Dillard's, listening to her voice as she started to get worried...and I knew it was dad. Mom was always crazy about 'im...I remember that distinctly. They were always close, but she seemed...almost like she depended on him...I dunno. She was extremely loving on him, did everything for him. And when he would fight with the X-men, she'd always get worried. Lots of times, she'd go fight with him, I guess to make sure she'd be there to help him if something happened...

I don't know what he told her, and I can't really remember what she said, but the next thing I knew, she was dropping all the stuff we were thinking of buying and we were headed back to the car. She said...I...think I remember her saying "Dad's in trouble, we gotta go, NOW!" I knew something was wrong, but I...I didn't wanna say anything, Ididn't ask anything...I didn't want to know what had happened. Deep down, I think, I knew...I knew something was going to happen, bad...I felt it in the pit of my stomach...I...I never imagined..........

When we got close enough to the fight, I could hear the sounds outside the car...I saw the Omega Hunters above the buildings, and that was when mom stopped the car and found a place for me to hide...she told me to hide in the motel across the street, made me wear the image inducer my dad normally wore. I remember thinking he must have forgotten it in the car the last time he'd used it...

I tried to do as she said...I stayed in the motel for as long as possible, but...I couldn't help it, I left and went to see what was going on...I wanted...I-...it was like I felt that...if I were there...maybe I could help them...if something happened...I ran outside, but I remember...this giant foot came down near me, one of the Omega Hunters, and I ran...I hid in an alleyway...I mean...what else is a 13 year old kid gonna do in a time like that...Even today, though...I can't help but feel guilty...I keep thinking to myself: 'What if I'd done something...? Why did I hide? I could have...I could have helped them, damnit"...but...but I know I'd have just gotten myself killed, too...

For a long time, I watched them...I remember watching people die...people I knew...like Mr. McCoy...an'...an' Jubilee, I think was her name...people I'd grown up with, who'd been like...Aunts and Uncles to me my whole life...I was watching them die right in front of my face...and I couldn't do anything about it...

And then...even now...even now, I can't get over the guilt...I just...I couldn't take it anymore...I wanted to go home, have it all be over, have everything be alright...and I called out for my mom and dad. They hadn't even known I was there...Dad didn't hear me at first, I remember, he was trying to pull one of his friends out of the fight, I could see that..that they were bleeding all over...but mom did...She looked up at me, and...and I'd never seen her so scared in my life...she looked at me with...with just this look of...of complete horror...when she realized I was there...I think it scared the life out of her...

I remember hearing her call my name...and she started running towards me...and Dad heard her and turned...She didn't...she didn't see the Omega coming for her...but...but I did...I remember thinking "My momma's gonna die...I'm gonna watch my momma die...and it's all gonna be my fault...I shouldn't have tried to call her over..." and...and-.......

I know it sounds cliche...like how in the movies, when something bad's about to happen, everything starts going in slow motion...but that's really what it feels like...that's how the world looks...I tried to tell her to stop...but she didn't hear me...or she didn't pay any attention, thought I was just...just calling out to her again...Dad heard...I remember seeing him look up...and seeing it coming at her, and the look on his face...I tried to yell at him, to tell him to make her stop...To this day...I don't know why he didn't teleport...Maybe he was to weak...maybe he was afraid that if he teleported her, he'd hurt her...who knows why anyone makes the decisions they do...but I remember him running at her...he was going to try to stop her...but the Omega was...was just too big...it was too fast...and...

And I can still smell her hair burning...when it shot her...I smell it in my dreams...I can't even sleep without it coming back to haunt me, the sight of her...just...laying there, charred...burned...and the smell of her hair burning...I think that was when I started screaming...that was when I lost it...Dad didn't stop, though...I remember wanting to...to be able to make him stop running...to make him disappear, to teleport away, so he wouldn't get hurt, too...but he just kept going...he ran to her...and he picked her up...and he looked at me...and I'll never forget the look on his face...I...it was like...he'd just seen...his entire world die...and he looked up at me...and he knew he had to get me out of there...but he didn't want to let her go...

So he ran with her...there was blood already covering his clothing, and he didn't even seem to...to remember that the Omega was there, he just seemed determined to get to me...

.......I like to think that they died instantly...that neither of them realized they were dying...I don't think I could get through the day with the thought of them...suffering like that...They were both shot in the back, I remember watching them fall forward...both of them...and I...I could feel my whole world...crashing down around me...And everyday I live with the guilt that...that I was the one who distracted them, that I was the reason they weren't watching for the Omega...I shouldn't have been there...if I'd listened to my mom...maybe they could have gotten away...and we'd be hiding, right now, someplace safe, where they couldn't get to us...

I don't know why the Omega's didn't see me...maybe they were too distracted with the fighting to notice one little kid in the alley nearby...Maybe they were just supposed to get the X-men...but I remember sitting in that corner for...for a very long time...even after the fighting had stopped...No one was able to get onto the street, I remember...the cars, the ambulances, fire-trucks...they were all stuck because of the destruction...I imagine the police kept civillians from going onto the scene, too...or...or maybe people just didn't care about a bunch of mutants enough to come look...but...I remember crawling out of the alley and...and walking towards my mom and dad...I don't know why...I guess I thought...maybe I can help 'em...maybe...maybe they're not dead...and I'll be able to help them...But...but when I saw them...I just started sobbing...and I'm not even ashamed to admit it...I cried so loud I screamed, screamed as loud as I could, as if that would make them wake up, or would bring someone who could help...I tried to wake them up...I mean...I was 13, I knew better than to have any hope, in the shape they were in...but I couldn't help it...I just wanted so badly for them to wake up and...and for everything to be ok...but they were dead, and I knew it...and I sat there...just...sobbing, I sat there and cried and just...thought of all the things I'd never get to do with them again...

........I don't know why human beings do that, make themselves worse by...by thinking about the things they've lost like that...but...but it's a horrible cycle...you can't help but think "I'll never get to...to do this with them again," or "I'll never get to go shopping for summer clothes with them again..." and it makes the hurt worse...and at that point in time...you don't care...you welcome the pain...You want it to come and you want it to stay forever...you don't ever want to forget what you've lost...sometimes making the pain worse feels good...

After a while, though...I don't know how long...I heard the voices...and...and I don't know what told me to run...sorta like in that really old...that old "Star Wars" movie, when the kid watches the old man die and he doesn't wanna leave, he just wants to keep shooting them for what they did...and then he hears the voice of the old guy telling him to run...and he ran...that's almost like what this was...I looked up and saw them coming and I ran, on all fours, so fast I barely felt the ground underneath my hands. I didn't stop running until I was literally miles away...........and...I've been running ever since...Everything my mom and dad stood for, I've tried to...to be now that they're gone...but it's been hard. There are days, sometimes, when I just...well...no, everyday I wish they were back...I wish they were here, to show me what to do...in a lotta ways...in a lotta ways, I still need their help. But I'll never get it, because of what happened, because of those damned Omegas...no one should ever have to feel that...no one...not even the people who created the damned things...And...yes, I hate them for what they did...but I could never wish...what I felt that day...on anyone...no one...