Ryan Atwood Flies Away

by bashanbrunka

Will Ryan ever spread his wings and learn how to fly? Will he do what it takes ‘til he touches the sky? RM and SS

Ryan Atwood Flies Away

Summary: Will Ryan Atwood ever spread his wings and learn how to fly? Will he do what it takes 'til he touches the sky? RM and SS

Dedications: Ansy Pansy aka Panz, we always love your reviews. If we could, we'd treat you to a Mickey Premium bar out of appreciation. We'd also like to give a special thanks to those who participated in the eating of our Luke Ward heart cake.

Note: It's not a completely necessary prerequisite, but you might want to check out another of our stories, It's Not Easy Being Misch, which corresponds, if you like this one.

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When Ryan Atwood woke up in the morning, and the alarm gave out a warning, he didn't think he'd ever make it on time. By the time he grabbed his books, and he gave himself a look, he was at the corner just in time to see his ride, Mischa's bus, fly by.

Frazzled by missing his ride in his old pal Mischa's shuttle bus, Ryan Atwood immediately grabbed his bicycle and Seth Cohen, informing him that he must stand on the pegs of the bike, if they ever wanted to make it to school on time. Ryan Atwood then hopped onto the seat of the bicycle, alternating between standing, sitting, and squatting, as he peddled away to the Harbor School. Behind him, Seth Cohen stood, occasionally covering Ryan Atwood's eyes with his hands and giggling with delight, as they drove along the pier.

Finally arriving at the Harbor School, Seth Cohen made his way to the nurse's office to repair a torn ligament in his phalanges and remove a horn from his arm, two injuries that resulted from Ryan Atwood's head on collision with a loose wildebeest who was running about town. Ryan Atwood had become distracted during the trip, because while driving on the highway, huge M&Ms with eyes, mouths, and extremities began pouring gracefully from the sky, to the sounds of a soothing guitar and a blissful voice. So transfixed on the sounds and colors and the way the freckles in his eyes aligned directly with those of a green M&M, Ryan Atwood never saw that wildebeest coming. After apologizing for his poor defensive driving skills, Ryan Atwood bid farewell to his companion and rushed in the other direction.

Ryan Atwood scurried to his most hated class of all time: beginner's Biology. While he was an expert at the physical sciences, Ryan Atwood could never grasp the complexities of the life sciences. Having a mad scientist as a teacher certainly didn't help, and Ryan Atwood's tardiness today would probably not be well received. Ryan Atwood only wished the wildebeest's insurance company could deal with the mad scientist, in the same way it would kindly take care of his biking needs.

Finally reaching the door labeled "BIOHAZARD," Ryan Atwood barged into the class and took a seat next to Samaire. Samaire's head stirred about, as she began to question Ryan Atwood.

"Ryan Atwood," Samaire began, "Where were you! You completely missed the instructional portion of today's lab. You're never going to be able to complete this thing. And why, may I ask, are you wearing orange polyester pants that say 'BE PREPARED!' across the ass?"

Ryan Atwood glared at Samaire, simply saying, "Did the mad scientist even notice I wasn't here? Plus, I'll be fine. I can figure out this thing on my own."

Skeptically, Samaire responded, "Okay, Ryan Atwood. And no, of course this guy didn't notice. You really think a guy who drinks hydrogen peroxide out of beakers, who didn't notice that I'd been absent for a year and a half, would really notice that you walked in 19 minutes late?"

The mad scientist then interrupted, bringing to Ryan Atwood and Samaire two trays filled with supplies. Ryan Atwood picked up his container of creatures flying about and wondered what the hell they were. Samaire kindly reminded Ryan Atwood that these were simply ordinary fruit flies.

Samaire began working on her lab. She isolated one of her fruit flies and began doing crosses to determine the genotypes of her fly. While Samaire could easily perceive their phenotypes, she had some work ahead of her in determining their genotypes.

Ryan Atwood looked on in horror, as he had no desire to touch these bugs. He decided he'd begin with wings. Having no idea about the purpose of this lab, other than its probably relation to the genetics unit in which the class is currently involved, Ryan Atwood decided the most appropriate thing would be to isolate the gene for wings. Ryan Atwood located the gene for his fruit fly's wings and sat back to admire his work.

But Ryan Atwood could not relax for long! From under his lab table popped Mischa! She grabbed the chromosome from Ryan Atwood's table, immediately threw it onto a bacterial plasmid and restriction enzyme containing syringe. Before he had time to move an inch, Mischa's green hand was grasping the syringe, holding it right up to Ryan Atwood's vein. Ryan Atwood watched in agonizing slow motion as Mischa poked his skin with the syringe and then released the contents right into his blood stream. Between the slow motion and the mad scientist's constant playing of the song "Dice" over the class's speakers, he felt like it was New Year's Eve all over again.

Finally registering these events, Ryan Atwood screamed, "What the hell was that for, Mischa!"

Mischa calmly explained, "That was for rejecting me when I turned green and using me only for rides to school!"

Mischa stormed out of the classroom, complaining of xylem issues, while the mad scientist ran to Ryan Atwood to try to stop the commotion.

"Oh no," the mad scientist said, "not again!"

Ryan Atwood just shook his head in fear.

"Well," the mad scientist continued, "perhaps Mischa injected you with the gene for vestigial genes. Then you'll just have some small wings that are useless."

Ryan Atwood stormed out of the classroom and walked right through the school's front door, after hearing these words that were supposed to be helpful.

By the time he reached the street, though, Ryan Atwood noticed a new weight on his shoulders. The wings had come in already! They were even poking right through his pajama shirt, breaking right through the fabric.

Ryan Atwood was relieved to spot a man of sage wisdom, George Feeny, right outside the school.

"Mr. Feeny!" Ryan Atwood yelled. "Fuhh – HEE- NEY!" He screamed, in Eric Matthews's style.

Mr. Feeny was horrified upon seeing Ryan Atwood and simply said, "I do not like wings on a man. I do not like them, George I am," before briskly walking away from Ryan Atwood.

Ryan Atwood was puzzled. Where would he go with these wings? He couldn't head to the local IMAX theatre, for his wings wouldn't fit in the seat. He couldn't head to Chino, for his bicycle had become a mere casualty in a collision with a wildebeest. Besides, if he couldn't get advice from Mr. Feeny, those good penguins, or Arturo, where would he go to receive some nice words?

Deciding that there was nowhere else to go, Ryan Atwood thought he might as well go get some good advice, a warm piece of pie, and a relaxing afternoon all in one. Yes, Ryan Atwood decided, there is no better place to go in this situation than to the home of that good guy, Carlos Solís.

Walking toward Wisteria Lane, Ryan Atwood headed right down the street. He knocked on the door of the big home and waited for Carlos Solís to open up the door. When he finally opened the door, though, Carlos Solís's reaction was not the one Ryan Atwood had expected nor hoped for.

Ryan Atwood was greeted with a straight up punch in the face!

Though it was later revealed that Carlos Solís is known to commit hate crimes against human birds, Ryan Atwood truly had the feeling that the punch may have been a result of the affair he had been having with Mrs. Solís. Dejected, rejected, and hurt, Ryan Atwood turned immediately, not even having the will to fight back, and backtracked the miles he had walked, just to end up right near Mischa's home.

Finally understanding Mischa's dilemma of dealing with the pain and loneliness of being the sole member of a brand new species, Ryan Atwood walked over to Mischa's home.

Spotting Julie Cooper, along with Tate and Kaitlin Cooper, at the dining room table, after barging into the home, Ryan Atwood inquired about Mischa.

"Oh, she's right out back in the garden, enjoying her dinner. Go on out, Ryan Atwood," Julie Cooper politely told him, while downing a fresh marg.

Ryan Atwood offered a small wave to the Coopers' chef for the night, Sandy Cohen. Sandy Cohen was currently bringing out a huge pink heart-shaped cake, outlined in semi-sweet morsels, which had a big picture of Howie D. and Sandy Cohen himself on it. The cake read, "Howie D. hearts me" in bright pink lettering. Not at all fazed by this, Ryan Atwood headed through the back door and saw Mischa wedged in her garden reading Hamlet in Croatian, while her green toes were planted firmly about an inch into the soil.

Before Mischa could say anything, Ryan Atwood immediately began apologizing for his previous behaviors. Mischa smiled and wrapped a green limb limply around Ryan Atwood's winged form and told him she loved him in Croatian.

Together, they decided to head to Ryan Atwood's home to tell everyone about their reunion.

Upon entering the Cohens' home, Mischa and Ryan Atwood saw Seth Cohen and Summer sitting on the floor of the living room, listening to Steps and watching Recess.

"Billy, get your ass over here!" Seth Cohen suddenly screamed. Mischa and Ryan Atwood watched, as a small chicken of the mini teacup variety moseyed on over to Seth Cohen, delivering a cellular phone in his mouth. Seth Cohen and Summer applauded for their chicken, giving it a round of applause for all its hard work in the obedience schooling they'd provided for it.

Mischa and Ryan Atwood make their presence known, by knocking over a lamp due to Ryan Atwood's huge wings and Mischa's wilting limbs. The commotion disturbed the chicken, who began to cry. Summer rocked the chicken, giving it a bottle, just like the one that the baby pig is fed in Spice World.

Mischa and Ryan Atwood headed upstairs, giving the chicken some privacy. As they headed up the stairs, though, Ryan Atwood's wing got caught on the chandelier! The swinging fixture grabbed Ryan Atwood by wing and swung him around and about, as he screamed in fear of extreme G-Forces and heights. Coming to his rescue, Mischa jumped on, too! They spun and spun, when suddenly they noticed that they weren't alone! Spinning along with them were none other than Beans and Steve Martin!

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Hours later, Seth Cohen and Summer found Mischa, Ryan Atwood, Beans, and Steve Martin piled against each other on a floor, napping, after having been thrown onto the floor by the spinning chandelier.

Seth Cohen kicked Ryan Atwood awake, and Mischa soon followed, after having been rudely disturbed during a period of intense REM by Steve Martin's cell phone (Franc was calling).

Leaving Beans and Steve Martin asleep, Ryan Atwood, Mischa, Summer, and Seth Cohen made their way to the pool house to discuss the Ryan Atwood's wings, that Seth and Summer had just noticed.

"You know a lot of people, Seth Cohen," Ryan Atwood began, "You must know someone who has seen such a thing before."

Seth Cohen looked at Ryan Atwood with a look of shame and said, "I know seven people, and no, none of them have seen this before. But…I do know…EUREKA!"

Ryan Atwood waited a few moments for Seth Cohen to shout out the name of the person he knew. After a few minutes, he impatiently screamed, "Who? Who do you know?"

Seth Cohen, once again, exclaimed, "Eureka!"

Ryan Atwood got frustrated, so Seth Cohen enunciated this time, "EU-FREAKING-REKA! You know, lives in a castle called Eureka's Castle, dragon for a friend? Who better to help rid you of these wings and Mischa of this color than a wizard?"

Ryan Atwood decided that this couldn't hurt, so the four headed straight to Seth Cohen's friend Eureka's castle.

Once they arrived, they pounded on the heavy door, and it suddenly creaked open, though no one was there.

"Hello!" the four shouted.

"I'm right here," said a nearby voice. Suddenly, shoeless feet began to appear right in front of them. Sunflowered leggings from the Gap Kids came next, followed closely by a huge toga. Soon, they could see golden crimped ringlets framing the toga covered shoulders. Once the invisible cloak was finally fully pulled off, the beautiful face of Topanga greeted them!

Topanga led them to a huge ballroom. Upon opening the door, they were greeted by the magical site of Eureka and Tinker Bell flying about!

They both yelled to Ryan Atwood,

You can fly! You can fly!
You can fly! You can fly!

When there's a smile in your heart
There's no better time to start
It's a very simple plan
You can do what the birdies can
At least it's worth a try

This sounded amazing to Ryan Atwood, so for the first time he spread his wings and learned how to fly. He did what it took 'til he touched the sky, greeting his new friends Tink and Eureka. He thought nothing about his light wings and their inability to support his body. He was totally flying anyway!

Ryan Atwood isn't supposed to fly. The law of aerodynamics or something. His body is too heavy and he's the wrong shape. That makes it impossible that he should fly. Ryan Atwood doesn't know about the law of aerodynamics, so he goes ahead and flies anyway.

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Disclaimers: We don't own The O.C., its characters, or its dreadful plots, though we're ashamed to say that we own both seasons one and two on DVD, along with a pair of yarmuclauses. We unfortunately don't own that great scene of Ryan Atwood and Mischa bicycling down the pier. We don't own that phrase at the end in italics, since we took it from The Bumblebee Flies Away by Robert Cormier. We don't own "Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson or the theme song of Saved By The Bell. We don't own wildebeests, our fav extremely touching and emotional M&M commercial, fruit flies, or "Dice". Though we are occasionally known to live our lives in slow motion, we do not claim to own Ryan Atwood's slow-mo experiences. We have no rights over the study of Biology, including genotypes, phenotypes, and vestigial wings. We don't own the penguin documentary, the film we decided was our favorite without ever having seen it, IMAX theatres, Mr. Feeny, Chino, or Arturo. We don't own Green Eggs and Ham, either. We don't own Carlos Solís, Wisteria Lane, fresh margs, or fresh pink heart cakes. Though we've memorized our fav speech from Hamlet, in our favorite language, Croatian, we cannot claim to have either written the play or translated it. We don't own Steps, Recess, or Spice World, and we also have no ownership over chickens. One day we hope you'll all join us, and bring freedom to the imprisoned chickens of this world! We don't own Steve Martin, Beans, chandelier riding, Franc, Father of the Bride, or Cheaper by the Dozen. We don't own eu-freaking-reka, Eureka's Castle, Topanga, Tinker Bell, and Peter Pan's musical masterpieces. We have no grasp on, let alone ownership on, the laws of aerodynamics. We do, however, continue to own the concept of Mischa turning green, and we do own these words. As Joan once said, when you repeat it three times, you own a word.

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