-1KD: Ah, the third in my little oneshot series. Kuwabara's turn!
Kuwabara: Huh?
KD: Lemme see…
K: Where's Eikichi?
KD: O.o
K: My cat. Eikichi! Eikichi!
KD: Oh, uh…IDIOT! Get the hell away from that-NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
K: What'd I do?
KD: MY HARD DRIVE! WHAHAHAHAHA!
Hiei: Oh shut up already and get on with the damn story!
KD: sniffles I will avenge thee, my beloved vpr Matrix…
Disclaimer: Doesn't own squat.
Note: This is utter and complete OCC-ness, people…IT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT! Sheesh…I didn't write this to be serious, you know. If you really don't like it, then don't read.
Where's Eikichi?
The small gray tabby peeked around the corner, and was thankful to see the humongous oaf that he had to call an owner completely conked out in front of his Playstation, a menagerie of hideous being steadily killing his character. He slowly, carefully padded across the floorboards and to the door, and with a dexterity that no ordinary kitten could possibly show, back flipped up to the door knob and picked the lock, then slunk out. The only problem was the screen door, but that was solved by a deft swipe of his claws.
The little cutie had trotted out of the yard just in time to hear the idiot left inside call out: "SHIZURU! Where's Eikichi?"
(Several minutes later, Yusuke Urameshi and Shuichi Minamino, a.k.a. Kurama, are accosted by a plainly pathetic Kazuma Kuwabara, who is in search of the above kitten. Eikichi, by the way, is sitting beside Hiei on a tree branch just outside city limits.)
"URAMESHI! Hi, Kurama. Urameshi, ya gotta help me!"
"What the hell's wrong, Kuwabara? Demons attacking? Keiko being attacked? The school's finally been blown up?"
"HELL NO! EIKICHI'S GONE!"
"Huh?"
"My CAT!"
"…"
"You tackled me because your cat is missing?"
"YES!"
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, DUMBASS!" (Yusuke, being the typical idiot, decides to beat the shit out of Kuwabara. Said Kuwabara decides the same for said Yusuke. Kurama sighs and just wonders why he didn't settle for graduating early and going to college on the other side of the planet. Hiei and Eikichi are currently sharing an ice cream cone.)
"Why me?"
"DIE, DUMBASS!"
"DIE, URAMESHI!"
(Several hours later, while walking back home after a thoroughly painful loss to Yusuke, Kuwabara comes across Hiei and Eikichi, Eikichi allowing Hiei to do the one thing that Kuwabara has been trying to do for the past month. Pet him.)
Hiei looked up, and grinned rather cruelly at the bloodied mess standing before him.
"Kuwabara, I believe that Eikichi has something to say to you. I've given him enough demon magic to speak, so I'd listen closely." Holding the kitten up to face it's erstwhile owner, a voice disturbingly like Hiei's came from that tiny fanged mouth.
"I hate you."
"Huh?"
"I hate you, dumb ass."
"But, but…"
"See ya!" With that, Hiei and Eikichi disappeared, Kuwabara collapsed into a sobbing heap,…and Kurama slunk out of the shadows, dressed in his sexiest robe, bending down to help Kuwabara up.
"Kurama, he hates me…"
"Oh, dear, dear….But I don't, Kazuma-sama…"
"Wha…?"
"Let me get you home, alright? Then we'll clean you up…and really get dirty…" Looking down at the effeminate fox-demon whose affectionate gaze seemed a little too intense for his tastes, Kuwabara made up his mind.
And took off at a dead run, leaving a pouting Kurama in his dust.
"Damn it! And I almost had him, too…oh well. Hiei…"
That was somewhat disturbing…shudder. I prefer KuramaXHiei, but I really couldn't resist bringing all of Kuwabara's little world down around him. He loses his cat, gets his ass kicked, his worst enemy makes friends with his cat, his cat tells him that he hates him, and a guy, in particular Kurama, is getting horny on him. What a life…Not that I care! ON TO YUSUKE!
Laters!
KD