A/N: Really, REALLY on an Ah, My Goddess kick right now, but that said, I still love Mai HiME/Mai Otome. Today, my writers group and I were outside all afternoon, (in the sprinkling rain no less) playing with yo-yo's and cooking hotdogs over an open pit with sticks. We were throwing around inane ideas that we think about in passing, writing in passing, but just haven't done yet. It was fun, but it got thinking that I really wanted to work with another family style fiction…

Warning: Saeko (Natsuki's mother in HiME) is being paired with one my OC's for this fan fiction. ….SaekoXSuzume… Also, this is very POV heavy at the start, but not throughout…

Pairings include: Natsuki/Shizuru, Saeko/Suzume, Nao/Mai...and maybe others.

I soooo without further delay do not own Mai HiME…thank god…

Apples of Our Eyes

Some people might look at my life and find it to be quite uncouth. I don't have a retort for that, a reason, or, even sound advice in which to give. I've thought, on more than one occasion, that I'd eventually regret my decisions. Thankfully, that has yet to be determined. As it stands now, I'm not a woman plagued with my trials, nor a poster child for mistakes best not to be made…although, I will admit, there are times my life leaves me lost for words, this circumstance isn't one of them.

After all, there is absolutely nothing better than tangling oneself within the heartfelt embrace of another.

Alas, I speed ahead of myself. My confession lacks propriety, perhaps, but, it is mine to have. So, I shall begin in the most simplistic way that I can…without hiding behind falsehoods, I've done quite enough of that already. Make no mistake, it isn't that I'm lying, far from it in fact. It's just that I often choose to withhold particular information, from particular people. In many cases it's for the best, and in others, I fear the worst.

This isn't exactly an easy thing to explain, although, I've endured a plethora of things far worse…anyway, let's begin, shall we? It started a long time ago…when love was something fleeting to me.

You see, we were both young mothers.

Clearly, we were lonely, even though we were both quite capable women individually. In our respective fields of interest, we were not to be outdone simply due to gender normality. Even if the men dominated both of our respective careers, it didn't dissuade us. I suppose, that's what bound us together. Predispositions side, and in spite of homoerotic tendencies, we were not, and still are not, the type of women to be underestimated. We could make it on our own easily enough, though truth be told, who would really want that? The loneliness of wondering how, or why, or when someone else might come along.

I didn't, and neither did she.

At the time, I was in my early twenties and pushing my way through a messy divorce. It l left me angry at my ex-husband in more ways than one. I doubt I could have made a list of all of the issues we had, at least not at the time. He was insufferable, and I couldn't figure out why…why had everything gone so wrong? I couldn't figure out, and truthfully, that was a shock to my system. Everyone told me how smart I was, but, I'd felt incredibly naive.

The idea of love had to make sense to me, and, when I was with him it just didn't.

I was so used to knowing everything, to having solid answers, but, I didn't have any for him…and he didn't have any for me, either. Somewhere around being married, our respective jobs, and raising our daughter, our relationship just seemed to fall apart. He was the sort of man that liked a sense of power and authority…I was the type of woman not to give a damn about what he claimed he needed.

I suppose I wasn't proper marriage material.

One day he put his best suit, walked out, and he didn't look back…not even to say goodbye to Natsuki, who was old enough to toddle towards the door and wait for him to come home. He never did. In fact, all through our divorce I tried, desperately so, to get him to involve himself in Natsuki's life.

She adored him so, and I wanted her to have a father, even if he was a horrible excuse for a husband…it goes without saying, that he was also not a good father, either…though, it wasn't for a lack of trying. It was for a lack of understanding her…and her needs. Natsuki's independent, you see. She's never been willing to take orders from anyone, though, sometimes you can sway her with a bit of sound advice.

Anyway, dealing with Natsuki is like dealing with a minefield, you must tread carefully with her.

That was something her father, who's arrogance knew no bounds, never could seem to understand. As a single parent, cooped up in his work, he had no idea what it meant to really sire his offspring…and Natsuki was always a rebellious little one. He and I went our separate ways, of course, after several arguments on the matter.

I became Natsuki's primary provider, and, her only one. I even refused child support. I'd always told myself I'd never get involved in another ill-fated romance again. Those were famous last words, indeed.

Now, you see, Suzume's situation is complicated, even to this very day. It always has been, and always will be. She is a married woman, that's right…married. She's merely dissatisfied in her relationship. Her husband has mistresses, and from what I can understand, their wedding had been arranged when they were fresh out of high school. Suzume loves him to some degree, I think. However, you can only care for a person so much before you start to break. From what I gathered then, to what I understand now, they only stayed together for the sake of their daughter, Shizuru.

It keeps their relatives happy as well, so, while they may be husband and wife, they're not lovers.

When I'd first met the woman, it became quite clear to me, they weren't monogamous. That was for damn sure. At the time, knowing that detail bothered me deeply, but now, it's simply a fact of life. I don't question it, I've no need…nor do I bother to oppose the idea, considering it doesn't exactly bother me in the way one might think…

However, that being said, it does make some matters difficult…I digress, the man she's bound to, is of little consequence. Anyway, it was summer vacation when we'd met in a coffee shop that we both frequented.

I remember that, because I'd seen her around before, but, not like that day. Her caramel colored skirt was just a little tighter than it had to be, coming just above the knee. The clicking of her matching heels is what actually caught my attention, and when she stood behind me in line, I couldn't stop gazing. Her fawn hair was crimped in gentle waves that framed her face, and her eyes were hidden by slim rimmed black shades.

"Can I help you?" She'd ask me that humid morning, perching those selfsame glasses atop her head in such a way, that my mouth ran dry. I'd wondered idly, if she'd noticed my gawking, or, if she simply felt in a mood to talk. I gulped heavily, because I was so used to seeing the woman in very conservative clothing, and never in something that showed off her shapely assets. Suzume is both well endowed, and courageous enough to show it, when she seeks the attention…that day, oh boy, did she want it.

Shyly, I turned away…when it was my turn in line, I ordered the same cappuccino I ordered every morning, and then I left. I went to work, came home to my two bedroom apartment, cooked dinner for my daughter and I…and life went on as if Suzume's words had never even reached my ears…but, it was already too late. I'd heard the voice of an angel. I couldn't get that honey-like melody out of my head. Trust me, it isn't the kind of thing a person can forget…

I tried.

Day after day, we seemed to arrive at the same shop around the same time, with our children in tow. Normally, I was on my way to work, and Suzume, she was on her way to take her child to the nearby summer school, for purely social interaction. At first, all we exchanged were sideways glances. Murmured greetings were something we equally swept under the rug.

Somewhere along the line, that changed. Though, I can't recall when, or even how…it was a very slow, gradual thing.

One wayward chat would lead into another, and eventually, we were arranging play dates. My child, Natsuki was six at the time. Her child, Shizuru was seven. We had a lot in common, so, it only seemed natural to start sharing our Saturday afternoons in the parks together. I didn't think anything of it, it seemed so normal to have her by my side.

Our contrasts were a great many…but, I didn't mind that.

I, with my sweet and creamy coffee, and her with that infuriatingly bitter tea. I would read the newspapers, and she would glance over steamy paperbacks, ones with lewd images on the cover. I would answer Natsuki's scrapes with antiseptic bandages and a pat on the head, and she would coddle her daughter every chance she got. My glasses were prescription, hers merely fashion. I was conservative in my choice of outerwear, and she danced on the borderline.

Professional, yet, pleasantly erotic in the way it teased casual onlookers.

We both could agree on a few things. For example, we wanted nothing to do with the men in our lives, and yet, for the sake of our children, we both put up with their increasingly bothersome antics. Still, we wanted to be noticed, and, we both admitted that we could feel the cold seeping into our respective beds at night. We didn't want to be tied down, but, we wanted warmth. We didn't want to answer to anyone, but, we missed the echoing voice in phone calls.

We wanted to feel needed…to feel loved.

We also slowly agreed that there wasn't any shame in admitting that. Darker sides, deeper topics…eventually, they all found at least someplace in our constant discussions. I craved companionship, she craved passion, and together we both hinted at the idea that there might actually be something near attraction between the two of us…I remember when that final string snapped, and along with it, every ounce of sanity I'd had.

That Saturday was like every other Saturday.

The kids played in the park, we sat and talked. Together, in my kitchen, we cooked dinner. Natsuki, true to form, slathered everything in mayo…she probably couldn't taste the chicken anymore, not by the time she was done…Shizuru lamented the entire time, unsure of why Natsuki would do such a silly thing….crinkling her nose in disgust. Suzume and I laughed, as we always seemed to do. In the evening, we made a point to watch movies, and when they'd finally fallen asleep, things took a turn for the obscure.

It started with the dishes…and a kiss that was only meant as a joke…a tease from Suzume that went too far.

It ended in my bedroom, her back pressed against the nearest wall we could find. Our lips locked, as my hands slid underneath her tight skirt, the fabric straining against my hand as I caressed her upper thigh. It wasn't a temptation I'd indulged in before. I'd always wondered what another woman felt like, but, I never imagined that I'd actually bring one home. I never assumed I'd have the confidence to press her body close to mine as I slid off her white, suds dampened blouse.

I was a woman, the same as her…and I'd only ever been with a man.

I knew only the hard rigidness of Natsuki's father, and he'd always taken control. He was a very passionate, yet stony man. In bed, he was always in charge, and I'd never thought to question that…so, I knew nothing of this power, of feeling so utterly maddened by need. Her hands roughly ran through my hair, pulling it out of the bun I'd had it in to keep my neck cool. Every time she so much as caressed by back, I felt my core tense, and knew what she was doing to me…goading me, but, I was already too far gone to mind it.

If I'm honest…I hadn't needed the provocation, I was far too willing to sleep with the woman, even if she was married…

My glasses had fallen on the floor, in a pool of our clothes, but I didn't care. I wanted to strip her bare, and feel that heat that I knew only a woman could make. My hands were shaky, my mouth unbearably dry, when my fingers had finally found their way to her slick core. Her voice was soft, smoky, as she hitched loudly from my touch.

"Shh, or you'll wake the girls." I recall murmuring, kissing my way down her exposed neck, feeling her liquid heat on my palm as it drenched my fingertips, her hips rolling in a steady tempo to my every command.

"Saeko." She breathed deeply, her nails digging down my back as she nipped into my shoulder, squeezing her eyes shut, trying to keep quiet. It was bliss, and I wanted to hear more of her, to taste her, to feel her thighs quake as they wrapped tightly around me. "Gods, Saeko." I wanted her to keep calling my name in that shaky, heated voice…and deep down, I half wanted Suzume to return the effort, I craved her touch…it was nearly painful, but, I also liked that feeling…knowing she was rendered so helpless, and wanting to be so.

I wanted her…all of her.

The bed squeaked as we moved, and I prayed to god I didn't wake our sleeping daughters in the next room. Christ only knew what would happen if I did, but another stifled moan against my shoulder told me she was close, and I could feel her grip tighten around me, white knuckled and trembling. She threw her head back, eyes closed as she bit her lower lip, and I redoubled my efforts, knocking the nightstand as my impassioned haze took over. I knew I'd have bruise on my leg the next day, but it was just a fleeting thought.

Her soft, large breasts bounced beautifully as her climax finally washed over her. It made her breathless, as my name slipped from her lips one last time in complete fractured awe. It was then that I took noticed, and I'd wondered what I done. This beautiful woman was bare before me, and I was terrified…afraid to hurt her, and be hurt by her in return, I didn't move…I was afraid we might have woken up the girls in the next room…and I also feared that we didn't…and that we could somehow perpetuate this completely insane notion of sleeping together.

…I was also afraid that she might not want to…

She looked into my eyes, and before I knew it, her lips were on mine, and I was the one with my back pressed into the bed. I swallowed hard then, because I knew, without a doubt in my mind, that she had every intention of gambling in this horrendous game…but…it wasn't a game anymore…and, our Saturday evenings were never the same again…

Funny thing is, that was ten years ago...and now, I find Natsuki suffering through that same, confusing struggle with Shizuru. Like mothers, like daughters…