A/N: S'up, people? I'm back once again with another story. After much consideration and long hours of thought, (not really) I've decided that 3 Wishes will stay as a one… story… thing… So I have begun a new series for pure fun with the same type of thought patterns used for 3 Wishes. Simply, it's written like 3 Wishes, but it's not 3 Wishes…
Confused? Good. Now, summary: 'Tis bolded because I say so:
Konoha Adolescent Delinquent Institute of Education is by far the most screwed up school Neji had ever been sent to. Of course, he's roomed up with a guy who claims he's possessed by a demon and the first two 'friends' he made are gay. (I'll give you three guesses to who they are and the first two don't count) RANDOM PAIRINGS! AU&OOC! (Alternate Universe with some Out of Characterness, for the 17 0 0 13 s) INSANE FACILTY! SHONEN AI! WoW TERMS! CRAZINESS AROUND EVERY CORNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Ahem)There are some stereotype jokes and a bunch of cursing and language and stuff... Then again, it's a delinquent school. Some of the cheap jokes in here are things that other drummers have said, and I thought they were funny, so I put them in here. Most jokes are just stupid and in here cause they're spur-of-the-moment. Also, there are some stereotype groups this story an self labeled groups, so I'm going to have to exaggerate at points (being a fanfiction, of course). And, I'd like to state, that there are, like, 20 different kinds of emos (not that I am one. I could be if I wanted to, but I'm gonna pull a Sasuke and say that I tried and failed), so don't get mad at me for emo comments (all really directed toward Neji (or Sasuke if they make fun of how he failed being one)
KEEP IN MIND, this is an AU&OOC, so facts don't have to be 100 with the show. ANYWHO, here's the story
K.A.D.I.E. Chapter one: The New Kid
"Life… Sucks…" Neji muttered between the noises of a rubber bouncy ball hitting the locked door to his dorm. "First this STUPID school and now a room mate who thinks he's a demon."
"I don't think, I know," Gaara said upon appearing over the angst-acting newbie.
"HOLY CR-" he was interrupted by his face on the floor.
"You okay?" the red head asked, once again hovering over the brunette.
"J-just leave me the fuck alone!" Neji yelled, bursting out of the door, hitting 2 figures on the way out.
"Walk much?" one asked, dramatically. (One guess as to who it is…)
"Sasuke, be nice," the blond asked, grabbing Sasuke's hand. "New roomie?"
"Yeah, but (unlike the other unfortunate souls) I might actually get along with this one." Gaara stated, now going through all of Neji's unpacked boxes.
"Tch, figures. The guy looks emo." Sasuke growled.
"What's wrong with emos?" Naruto asked. "One of my best friends was an emo."
"Sasuke doesn't like emos cause he tried to be one and failed." Gaara joked.
"Take that back."
"No."
"I'll fight you."
"Bring it!"
"Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuys!" Naruto whined, causing the other two to stop for a moment.
"Tch, consider yourself saved." Sasuke muttered, returning to Naruto's side.
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight… Cause you can take me down." Gaara replied, sarcastically of course.
"Well, you two can fight or whatever, but I'M going to make sure that Gaara's new roomie isn't taking your attitude the wrong way," the blonde stated, exiting the room.
"'The wrong way'?" Gaara asked no one in particular. "And what attitude? I don't have an attitude. You're boyfriend is screwed up."
"Right. Cause you don't have an attitude and how you act can't be taken the wrong way." Sasuke replied.
"Oh, shut up."
'Dammit… I still don't get why the heck I have to talk to Gaara's roomies…' Naruto thought, then remembered something important – he always volunteered to, which always led to some weird mishap.
Like standing under a tree seeming insane.
"Hey, new guy!" the blonde exclaimed.
"FUCK OFF."
'Okay, that didn't work…' Naruto thought, then decided to climb the tree. "Hey, new guy."
"OMG! Leave me alone!" Neji yelled, shoving the blonde out of the tree, causing him to fall flat on his face.
"Okay, NOW I'm pissed! GET THE HELL DOWN HERE!" Naruto screamed, causing weird glances from random people on campus.
"Make me."
Once again, Naruto climbed the tree, only to slip and drag the brunette out by accident.
"What the hell is your malfunction?" he asked, completely monotone (like we all know he can if he wants).
"Hi, I'm Naruto. You're the new kid, Neji, right?" Naruto asked, completely ignoring him.
"You're forceful."
"And you're an emo."
"SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP SHUT! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!" Neji yelled, covering his ears.
"Um… sorry… I guess you have issues with being called… um… that word," Naruto muttered.
"Why the hell do you think I'm here?" he responded, uncovering his ears.
"…Did you go psycho on someone for calling you that?"
"No. I just like pretending I did," the brunette stated, causing the blond to mentally freak out. Maybe this guy is crazy enough to be Gaara's roomie...
"…So what did you do?"
"I attempted to kill my cousin and possession of crack."
Naruto blinked as if he understood, though it was quite clear that his blond was showing.
"What about you?" he asked, becoming okay with the blond at this point.
"I have no clue whatsoever. Something about dual personalities."
"… What?" Neji asked, becoming angry again.
"Ohfuckcrap (love that word)…" Naruto muttered. "Do you have an issue with that kind of stuff?"
"Not since that messed up red-head started chasing me around claiming dual-personality shit."
"Oh, well… Gaara's Gaara and there's no changing. I keep telling him to stop telling his new room mates about that…"
"…How many room mates has he had?"
"Alot I guess cause he's been here since he was, like, 8…"
"HOLYCRAP. Only this school?"
"Yeah, Tsunade doesn't like the paperwork required with transferring students… even though she's come close with Sasuke…" Naruto muttered, running a hand through his hair.
"Tch, lazy ass…"
"What about me?"
The two turned around to see two other students. One was a blonde girl with it in two pony-tail-like things in a short tube top, fish nets, and a mini-skirt. The other was a guy with short brown hair wearing rather baggy pants, a tighter top and a baggy half-jacket thing.
"Oh, Shikamaru, Temari. What's up?" Naruto asked, once again hyper-happy.
"God, must you be so… cheerful?" Shikamaru asked, sighing.
"…HOLYCRAP! He sounds just like that guy from that Weird Al song! The "I wanna be a stormtrooper" song! Holycrap!" Neji exclaimed.
"HA! SEE! I'm not the only one who thinks so!" Temari claimed.
"Oh, STFU." Shikamaru muttered.
"OMG, what is with you today?" Temari yelled, glaring at the guy next to her.
"Shut up, you f-a-t a-double-s." (Drummer said that...Just the line)
Temari gasped, overly-dramatically. "I thought you loved my ass!"
"Doesn't mean it's not fat."
"ARG! You stupid STORMTROOPER!"
"Doesn't that mean that chicks dig me?"
"OH STFU! ASSHOLE!" Temari growled, walking off.
"God, that's fun." Shikamaru muttered, sliding his hands into his pockets. "So, who's the new emo?"
A dark, menacing, demonish growl emerged from the long-haired brunette.
"Um, he hates being called the 'e' word," Naruto explained.
"WHATever. So, what, is he like your new boyfriend or something?"
THERE WAS SILENCE.
"You're gay?" Neji asked, surprised cause the blond could have passed as a straight guy.
"Uh… by force." Naruto added.
"There is no such thing as forced sex," Shikamaru stated.
"Yeah, it's called 'rape'." Naruto responded.
"Which is sex you never knew you wanted."
"Shut up. You only say that cause you're dating the school whore."
"What's wrong with Temari?"
"Uh, WTF?" Neji asked, shoving into the conversation.
"Uh, nevermind. Irrelevant info." Naruto responded.
"Uh, right… So what is there to do around here?"
"Get laid…" Shikamaru asked.
"Speaking of which, are you straight?" Naruto asked.
"I'm emo. I'm not entitled to being straight to gay… I just… Am." Neji responded.
"I thought he didn't want to be called an emo…" Shikamaru stated, confused.
"OMG! Don't call me emo because only emos can call emos 'emo' because only emos understand emos so you can't call me emo unless you are an emo and your not emo so don't call me emo, GOD!" he yelled, then stormed off.
"What did he say?" Shikamaru asked, staring at the now placed as insane brunette.
"I don't know…" Naruto responded. "But he may be able to vent quicker than Gaara."
"Holycrap."
"Ohfuckcrap, that's bad."
ZOMGEVERYBODY DOESTHESEWORDLINESSOHERESMINEATTHEENDOFTHECHAPTEROHFUCKCRAP
A/N: K, folks, that's the first chapter. Next chapter Neji has a little 'run in' with Sasuke, and maybe a class or two will be put it. I already have a couple random people doing random jobs (hence the "INSANE FACILTY" comment). Like I said, alot of cursing and alot of random subjects... And I had alot of fun prewriting, like, all of Sasuke's lines cause he's so... him that it was easy to find a bunch of drummer lines for him to say. Doesn't make him a drummer, it just makes him a life-less loser (though he still has more of a life then the typical fanfiction writer.)
And, yes, "ohfuckcrap" is a word you will hear Naruto say alot. It's just such an awsome word.