A/N: Hey guys! This little plot bunny had been wriggling around in my brain for quite some time. Enjoy!
Also, I have this story completely written out, so don't be afraid that I'll stop in the middle of it like my other story, Laser Tag.
Poor, Poor Captain Short
Holly was not in a good mood.
This morning she'd spilled sugar all over the table while sleepily dumping more than necessary into her cereal. Then, as she cleaned up the mess, the elf forgot about her toast until the fire alarm alerted her. Fairies do not like loud noises, and Holly Short was no exception. Unfortunately, her cold-hearted fire alarm went on screeching despite this fact. Her patience worn thin, Holly threw one of her combat boots at the device instead of waving away the thick black smoke.
Such a catastrophe made her late for work. She dumped her sugary sweet cereal down the sink in favor of a power bar and decided that she'd allow herself a quick visit to the bathroom before rushing out the door. Which was when she realized that it really wasn't a great time of month for her.
She would have called in sick right then and there, but Holly knew she had a short day at work. Today was when she was supposed to visit Artemis. Even though the Mud Boy had proved time and time again that he was a changed person who could be (mostly) trusted, the LEP still kept tabs on him. Short was the obvious person for this job.
Holly pretended to be irritated at having to "babysit" Artemis, but truthfully she quite liked the jaunts above the surface. Often she stayed much longer than required to have more time at the Fowl Estate with her good friends.
I'll just be brief today, she thought, then I'll come home and rest a bit.
She zoomed across the Irish countryside taking in deep lungfuls of the crisp air. A thin blanket of snow covered the ground and sparkled in the weak sunshine. The few straggling snowflakes that still swirled in the air made the whole scene take on a dreamlike quality. The trees were lightly frosted and contrasted beautifully with the blue sky despite the few gray clouds hovering in the background. Normally she would fully enjoy such a treat, but she couldn't keep a prickle of irritation out of her thoughts.
It's so cold out, d'arvit! How do these Mud Men stand it?!
Captain Short really couldn't feel the December air through her heated helmet and shimmer suit, but she needed something to complain about. She also cursed the goose that flew below her for a bit, and the snowflakes that landed on her helmet, and her whole stupid job and the whole stupid world. Mostly though, she grumbled about Artemis and how if he'd just been a good boy like she'd asked him to, then she wouldn't have to fly out to his manor every single month.
Her fingers absentmindedly fluttered over her stomach. She wasn't in any pain yet, but Holly knew she ought to get back as soon as possible before the calm was over and the storm began.
She skidded to a halt at Fowl's front door, nearly losing her balance on the icy spots, and pounded impatiently with the brass knocker. She tapped her foot and unshielded.
After a minute or two she heard footsteps and the door swung open.
"Hello, Captain Short. It's a pleasure to be seeing you again."
He did look genuinely pleased. A small smile played at the corners of his mouth and he fingered the lapel of his Armani suit in a distracted manner, as he always did when he was happy.
His happiness annoyed her. His stupid face annoyed her.
"It's cold outside. And I almost slipped," Holly said in an accusatory tone, as if it was somehow Artemis' fault.
She shouldered roughly past him and tucked her helmet under her arm.
"Would you like some tea? Or perhaps a mug of hot chocolate? Butler can make divine hot chocolate using fresh Brazilian cocoa beans."
He swept his arm vaguely towards the kitchen.
"Just show me you laboratory, Mud Boy."
Artemis blinked in surprise (he didn't literally blink, he just did the mental equivalent of a surprised blink. Artemis Fowl didn't blink unless absolutely necessary). They hadn't actually gone anywhere near his lab on a "parole" visit in a while, Holly preferring to explore the curious world of Mud Man culture. Once they'd gone to an amusement park where Holly attacked a fire juggler thinking he was a particularly notorious goblin, and another time they'd spent the whole day watching silly action movies.
"Well, alright. If that is what you would like to. Did someone figure out that you were not, in fact, making sure I was keeping out of illegal activity?"
"No! Maybe I just want to do my job right."
Artemis chuckled.
"If by "right" you mean "following directions" I would be most impressed. When was the last time you did your job "right"?"
"Shut up, Artemis. How I do my job is my business alone," Holly struggled to keep up with Artemis' pace, the large human-sized stairs hindering her, "And slow down, for Frond's sake!"
Artemis frowned. Holly was generally not this frosty. They descended the staircase without another word until they came to a certain section of the wall. Artemis pushed it open to reveal a secret room.
"Here we are. Have a look around, but don't… touch anything without my permission."
"I'll touch whatever I want, Artemis." Holly growled in a low voice.
She was glad to be given an order that could be disobeyed completely out of spite. With a sort of vicious pleasure, Captain Short promptly knocked over a complicated-looking glass thing.
"That was a prototype for an eco-friendly generator!" Artemis cried, "It took me months to create!"
He knelt down and picked out some of the bigger glass shards and placed them on the table, then set to work examining the wires and circuit boards inside. To his relief, he discovered that the electronic part of the generator was fine, and only the outer glass vase was harmed. Of course, he didn't reveal this to Holly for fear she'd come back to finish the job "right".
"Oopsies." Holly sang venomously.
Underneath her irritability, a feeling of dread had settled in Holly's stomach. She could tell that the cramps would start soon, as hostile behavior was always a prelude to them. Somewhat similar to human PMS. Except far, far worse.
"What has gotten into you, my friend? Are you alright?"
Artemis asked this in such a gentle voice it made Holly want to cry right there.
Which is another warning sign, she thought.
"I'm fine!"
"I don't think so."
He sounded again like his annoying genius self who was about to psychoanalyze her.
"I'm fine."
Holly looked at some of his gadgets with a bored expression, not really taking in anything she saw. When she came up to a cylindrical chamber with a glass door, she stepped inside.
"I wouldn't press any buttons in there…" Artemis raised a hand as if to stop her, then thought better of it.
Holly would have liked to disobey him then as well, but she knew pressing a big red button while in a tube that belonged in the old Mud Man show Lost in Space was a very bad idea. So she got out.
"Tell me what is wrong, Holly."
"I'm fine." She repeated.
"I can tell you are not fine." He crossed his arms.
"Mind your own beeswax."
"Did you go on another bad date with Trouble?"
That was the worst possible thing Artemis could have said. For someone who could have been a certified psychologist, the boy genius knew next to nothing about social cues.
Holly slowly looked up from the box of stuff she was rummaging in.
"I mean, you haven't had a very good record with the Commander, and I think we all know he and Lily Frond…"
He trailed off and made a mental note to refrain from mentioning the Captain's personal life.
A glass beaker exploded on the wall right by his head, showering him in a stereotypical greenish goo.
"That could have been acid, Holly." He said coolly.
Maybe if he was more terrified, Holly would have let him off more easily. But she hated his composure and was determined to shatter it with a fancy looking remote.
"Hold on a minute!"
The remote struck him in the chest.
"How dare you!" Holly shrieked, "You don't have a girlfriend either, Mud Boy! Stupid Mud Boy!"
She looked around the room for another projectile, but there was nothing left to throw.
Stupid Artemis with his stupid clean laboratory, she thought.
"Maybe Trouble does like me! Ever thought of that?" In an instant her rage turned to sorrow, "Or maybe you're right. I bet I'll die alone! I'll be alone forever!"
Artemis decided he preferred anger over tears.
"D-don't cry!"
Usually Holly would be very smug after making the genius stutter, but she was too preoccupied by her sobs at the moment. She might not have even heard the slip.
"Forever!" She collapsed to her knees and allowed her tears to drip straight onto the concrete.
"There, there." Artemis gingerly patted the back of Holly's head and hoped that she wouldn't bite his head off.
The Captain winced as she felt a stab of pain in her abdomen. The sane part of her brain wished she had brought her painkillers with her. It also urged her that she had to leave now.
"I've gotta go, Artemis." She hiccupped and wiped her cheeks.
The elf threw open the tiny laboratory window (she thought that was kind of odd, a secret laboratory with a window that gave it away) and stepped on the ledge.
During the short period of time that she'd been in Fowl Manor, those menacing storm clouds she'd seen on the way in had rolled overhead. Fat white snowflakes whirled around in the air. It was practically a blizzard. Holly paled at the thought of flying in such a storm, but she had to get going.
"Holly, what do you think you are doing!? You cannot fly in such harsh weather! And frankly, you seem a little unstable to me."
Artemis sensed that something was very wrong. Just then, a few blue sparks of magic skittered around Holly's torso.
"You are hurt! Stop this, and stay overnight here! We have multiple vacant guest rooms!" Artemis wondered if this was what it was like to run a bed and breakfast.
"I'll be fine!"
She was about to hurl herself straight into the blizzard when a bright cocoon of blue magic engulfed her midriff.
"D-d'arvit."
The elf's shoulders lurched forward like she was going to throw up. One of her hands fluttered to her abdomen and the other to her mouth. She swayed a little because of the pain with her face contorted in agony, and then, her expression went slack and her eyes rolled back up into her head.
Holly Short fainted and fell backwards out the window, trailing streaks of blue behind her.
How is it so far? Should I post the rest of the story? This was originally meant to be a one shot, but it got a little bit longer than I originally intended. Remember, don't forget to push that gosh darn cute review button!