Because
By Sara166
Summary: How James and Lily fell in love, and stayed there.
A/N: Hey, this is my first go at writing fanfiction! I mean, I've read fanfic for years and I really just fell in love with it, so I decided to give it a try :) I guess, how hard can it be? Okay, don't answer that :o Anyways, so my one true pair is definitely, definitely DEFINITELY Lily and James, for me it's Jily, L/J, whatever you wanna call it, FTW :D :D 3 3 So I'm gonna set my first fanfic ever called Because, in the beginning of their seventh year, to start with. It might be a tiny bit boring at first because I'm trying to set the stage for everything, but I promise it'll pick up soon. I really hope it turns out well, and if it doesn't, please don't hurt me! Just keep reading...
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the absolutely amazing JKR :)
Chapter 1
"Lily, aren't you coming? All the carriages are filling up!", yelled Marlene, waiting impatiently on the platform at Hogsmeade station for her friend. "Coming!", Lily called back, snapping out of her reverie. She tore her eyes away from the window, and headed out of the compartment, pulling her trunk behind her. Urgh, it was so heavy! Did she really feel the need to pack her entire bedroom at home into this small suitcase? Home. Her lungs felt constricted, all of a sudden. This past summer had been one of the worst of her life. Her sister, Petunia, was being horrible to her. Well, that was old news to Lily, but this summer had been especially bad. Their communication hadn't extended beyond Petunia pushing past her on the staircase and growling, "Move, freak."
Her parents had really tried to get their two daughters to spend some time together, or at least have ONE civil conversation, all to no avail. Between her obsession with fashion and 'enjoying' the company of her whale of a boyfriend, Vernon Dursley, Petunia didn't have time or any attention for much else, let alone her witch sister. Lily had spent most of the summer in her room, writing letters to Marlene and Alice, doing homework, or just simply curled in a ball on her bed, rocking to and fro, and staring at the wall, her eyes full of tears.
Despite the presence of her parents, it just didn't feel like home anymore. But when Lily got in a carriage with Alice and saw Hogwarts castle looming before her, the knot in her chest loosened slightly, and she let out a half-sigh of contentment, and relief. She had been counting down the days to when she would return to school, and seeing the place where she really felt she fit in, where she felt that she belonged, her real home...it just made her eyes twinkle with excitement.
"Alice went ahead with Frank, but she said she would find us in the Great Hall for the feast tonight", Marlene informed Lily. "Great," Lily anwered. "Listen, Marls - I've really missed you both. I'm in serious need of some girl time." Marlene gave her a brilliant smile and a hug. Since first year, Marlene McKinnon, Alice Griffiths and Lily Evans had been absolutely inseperable. They had just clicked, and had done everything together since their first conversation about how much they had all been terrified of Professor McGonagall, the Transfiguration teacher, the first time they saw her before the Sorting ceremony.
When they reached the castle, Lily jumped out first and then gave a hand to Marlene, who she knew was just about the clumsiest person on the planet - she couldn't walk across a flat, stable surface without finding something to trip on. The two girls then made their way inside the Great Hall, and Lily automatically looked at the enchanted ceiling, tonight a deep midnight blue, pierced through here and there by the sharp glow of the clear stars. Anybody else wouldn't have given it a second thought, but Lily sucked in a breath, mesmerized by the gorgeous sky above her, and then smiled. It was good to be home.
There was another person at the Gryffindor table that was contentedly gazing at something lovely. James Potter was staring at Lily Evans, staring at the ceiling. He let out a breath he had been holding as he took in her still form - her silky, pale skin, her graceful, womanly figure, her soft, bright red hair, cascading down her back in a tumble of curls, and last but not least, her luminous emerald eyes, which always seemed to sparkle, except when she was angry - then, they flashed. James thought she was the very picture of beauty, a goddess.
A familiar voice roused James from his Lily-induced haze - "Oi, Prongs! Quit staring at Evans, you're creeping me out! Talk to me!" James replied, "Padfoot, I've been talking to you ALL. SUMMER." It was true - a little over a year ago, James' best friend Sirius Black had shown up at his doorstep, saying he'd had enough of his family and their pureblood mania. Since then, Sirius occupied the room next door to his, and with the other Marauders, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, over almost all the time, the Potter mansion had more or less turned into a zoo.
"So? Mate, you were living the dream of practically every female in this castle, sleeping under the same roof as me. I bet even you wanted to jump me at some point. I mean, my looks are irresistable. Right, Moony?" Remus gave Sirius a disgusted look, and asked James gently, "Have you told Lily about, you know...the badge?" "No. I guess I just wanted to put it off till the last minute. I think I'm just going to let Dumbledore make the announcement. If I tell her, she probably won't even believe me. Hell, I don't believe me!" It was true. When James had emptied the contents of his letter from Hogwarts and the badge slid into his hand, he was bewildered. In fact, he had even sent a letter to McGonagall by owl and told her about the 'mistake'. She had written back, and only then had such a crazy possibility entered his mind.
Dear Mr. Potter,
There is no error whatsoever, this badge was very much intentionally delivered to you. You are expected to begin with your duties upon your arrival at Hogwarts castle.
Sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
His mother, of course, had been ecstatic. She had hugged and kissed him until Sirius was about to blow up from laughing so hard. Personally, James thought Dumbledore had finally cracked. He tried again - "Moony, it should've been you. We all know it and-" "Prongs", Remus said firmly. "You know why it couldn't have been me." James knew. He knew, but that didn't stop him from being irritated with life. Just then, the sorting finshed, and Dumbledore got up to speak.
Their headmaster opened his arms and held them out. He began, "To our new students, welcome, and to our old friends, welcome back! I hate to keep you all from what I know will be a most excellent feast," Here a few appreciative murmurs were heard, "So I will get right to the point. As always, the Forbidden Forest, most aptly named, is off limits to all students, and some of you would do well to remember that." He paused, his piercingly blue eyes finding Sirius, who, of course, did not have the grace to look ashamed. Instead, he got up and took a flamboyant bow, before he winked and caused about ten girls at his table to swoon. Lily just rolled her eyes, and turned her attention back to Dumbledore.
"Thank you, Mr. Black. Moving on, we have a change in staffing this year - Please join me in welcoming Professor Jonathan Clarke, who will be occupying the position of the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher." There was a smattering of polite applause, which increased considerably in volume when the new teacher stood up and gave the students a wave and a smile, before again being seated. "Oh. My. GOD." said Marlene, still staring up at the staff table, her mouth open in a perfect 'O'. "I know," Lily agreed. "Wow." Marlene started to gush, "He is just so HOT. Amazing. Just, whoa. Incredible. " Just then, Alice chimed in - "He is so dreamy!" "Alice! What about Frank?" Lily berated her. "Oh, come on. I may be taken, but I'm not dead!" Lily tried to frown at her, but ended up laughing.
Just then, Dumbledore's booming voice echoed around the hall once again, as he finished up with the start-of-term announcements. "Before we get started on filling our bellies, I must inform you all that your new Head students will be James Potter and Lily Evans. I wish you both all the best with this responsibility. Now, tuck in!"
Almost instantly, the bubble of silence burst and chatter and laughter could be heard in all directions, as people reached for their food, piled it onto their plates and dug in. Marlene and Alice, after congratulating Lily again (they had known since Lily got her letter), had begun to do the same, but then they noticed Lily was frozen in shock, and horror. "Lils?" Marlene asked hesitantly. "Are you...okay?" "Of course I'm not bloody okay, Marlene! That arrogant, insensitive prick, Head Boy!?" Lily practically shouted. "I'm going to have to live with him. Live with him! Live with him! No, he's going to make my life a living hell!" "Lily, come on, it won't be that bad," Alice said, trying to placate her. "You two haven't even had a real fight in ages!"
"Yeah, well-what?", Lily asked, surprised, as Alice's comment registered, a bit too late. "I said, you two haven't had a real fight in ages. I mean, after fifth year and the, um, incident with Snape, you didn't even speak to him, but in sixth year he was back to pranking you and you were back to screaming at him. That's how it worked with you both - he would annoy you, you would yell at him, he would try to get you to go out with him, and you'd say no and insult him. But after a point, it all just-stopped. I mean, you stopped arguing, so you basically stopped talking. He, well, I guess he gave up on you."
Lily blinked as she processed the information, her interactions with Potter from a third party's point of view. "Well...good. I'm glad he finally got the message, then." Lily said after a moment of deliberation. Then she started eating, with a very convincing outward appearance of calmness, but her stomach felt like it had a hole in it, no matter how much she ate.
She remembered their last 'real' fight - it had been after Lily forgave him for what happened with Snape, even though it wasn't technically his fault. They had never talked about it, she just thought she'd been mad for too long about too trivial an offense, so she relented in spite of herself. Not that she'd ever admit it to him, though. Their last fight, the one that had ended abnornmally, had all started with Potter stealing her homework, AGAIN. I mean, how many times can the same boy take your Charms essay? But of course, that didn't stop Potter.
"Give it back, Potter!" Lily shouted. "Only if you go out with me, Evans." he called back in that annoying sing-song manner, while walking backwards away from Lily, holding the parchment high above his head. "Potter, don't even-argh, you insufferable prat, I wouldn't even voluntarily spend one minute with you!" Too caught up with yelling at him, Lily hadn't noticed that James had stopped backing away, and because she kept stomping towards him, she was uncomfortably close to his stupid face and arrogant smirk.
Except he wasn't smirking. 'Wow, that's a first', Lily snorted inwardly. But her derision dissolved when he looked down at her (he was about 5 inches taller), his hazel eyes burning into her green ones. "Really, Lily? Not even one minute?" "I-well, I...I mean..." her voice trailed off into nothing as James' gaze intensified. His hand lowered and he dropped the essay on the floor, but held Lily's gaze. He leaned forward. Lily wanted more than anything to look away, to see anything before her but his stupid paralyzing warm eyes, but she couldn't.
"Lily." he said, his cool breath fanning her face. Then, suddenly, he pulled back, and hurried away. Lily was left flustered. She scrambled for her essay, pushed her hair behind her ear, straightened up, and made her way to class, stricken and confused. 'Had we-had me and Potter actually had a moment?' she asked herself. 'No. No, that's not possible. No.' But from then on, Lily had kept her distance, and Potter hadn't come near her either.
Lily was roused from her stupor by Marlene asking her a question -she answered absently and returned to that quiet place inside her head. Could it bother her that James Potter had acted for months as if she didn't exist? Psht, of course not. NOT AT ALL. Okay, maybe a little. A lot? She sighed. Well, she was going to have to work with him this year. Mentally, she shuddered. 'Lily, you hate the guy, remember?' she scolded herself. 'Yeah, but I don't like it when he ignores me!' Lily shook her head. She really was insane.
James had spent most of the evening watching Lily. He nervously awaited her reaction when Dumbledore announced his name as Head Boy. When he saw her shrieking, angry and looking nearly deranged, he slumped in his seat. He had known she wouldn't be pleased, but he had hoped that maybe she would accept it? Well, it was obvious that she hadn't. He sighed, his appetite vanishing (a rare occurence for James).
He had really been making an effort to grow up, to be more mature, and to be someone who Lily would approve of, and hopefully even like. He hadn't asked her out in months, and didn't plan on breaking his winning streak. However, it bothered him that Lily seemed fine without his constant attention, she didn't seem to miss him at all, wheras not talking to her for days on end felt like slow poison.
'Alright,' James thought to himself, 'Now you're Head Boy. No idea why, or how, but you are. At least you can see her. You have to. Work on being her friend first. Be her friend.' Of course, even the thought of just being Lily's friend made him want to throw up, but that didn't matter. Lily mattered. Being there for her was what he wanted, and if she didn't have room in her life for anyone but a friend, then he would bloody well be her friend. Oh, God. How was he ever going to pull this off?
He helped himself to his favourite dessert, treacle tart (his appetite had nothing to do with treacle tart. If it was there, he would eat it). After he finished and everyone was getting up from their tables, the sound of benches being pushed back echoing throughout the hall, he instructed the prefects to show the first-years to their dormitories. Across the hall, he could see that Lily was most likely doing the same.
He said goodbye to the other Marauders, and predictably, only Remus acknowledged him, as Sirius was trying to pick up girls, and Peter was still engaged in stuffing his face. James sighed, and started to make his way to where he knew the Head dormitory was located. He loved his friends, but a chance to live alone, without Sirius snoring like a foghorn every night...heaven.
He reached the portrait hole for the Head dormitory, said the password, "Hinkypunk" and clambered inside. He looked around, and was thoroughly impressed with the common room. Nice-looking armchairs, couches, good rugs, pretty pictures, even a loveseat. And although Gryffindor wasn't obviously expressed in the form of a banner or something similar, the room seemed to be made up of shades and hues of red and gold. The familiarity of these two colours felt comforting to James. However, the most beautiful thing in the room was sitting on the couch, examining the glowing embers of the merrily burning fire.
"Lily." he said. She glanced up, startled, and then relaxed. "Hello, Potter." James looked on sheepishly, and then said, "Lily, I know you're probably thinking that I don't deserve this, that Dumbledore's gone off his rocker. And I think you're right. But I want you to know that, for whatever reason, I am Head Boy, and I'm going to try and live up to the badge on my chest. I hope you can let go of the past and my, well, irritating advances, because I want to work together in a way that will make me worthy of my position." James ran a hand through his already far-too-messy hair, and shrugged. "Well, that's all I wanted to say. I only prepared this speech up until there."
Then, Lily laughed, a genuine smile spreading across her face. "Thanks, Potter. But you should know - you're not obligated to explain yourself to me. Over the years, well, you have annoyed me beyond the boundaries of sanity, but I haven't been the most understanding either. So let's just try our best to make this work, all right?" "Of course, Lily. Thanks, for, uh, giving me another chance, I guess." "Well, then," Lily got up from the couch, stretched, and then said, "I'm going to bed. I'll, um, see you tomorrrow, Potter." "Goodnight, Lily", James responded quietly, earnestly, and, truth be told, very sweetly. He watched her go to her room, almost running to get there. 'Oh, God. I've already scared her off.' thought James.
Lily walked up to her room, where there was a shiny plaque that read 'Head Girl', as fast as she could without actually sprinting. "Why was he being so...so nice? He's not supposed to be nice!" she said out loud as she paced up and down her new room. "He wasn't being immature at all! I actually en-enjoyed talking to him, for a second!" Then she froze. "James Potter...grew up." The words sounded strange, put together in that order. She realized this aloud, and then sank down onto her bed. "He grew up? But, how? Why? Does this mean he doesn't like me any more? Wait. He said he wants to 'work together'! That means he's over me! Lily, Lily, wait." she interrupted herself. "You don't like him. Why do you want him to like you? Well, because-because...God! Because, okay? Because.
Oh, Lord. Lily covered her face with her hands and shook her head. It was going to be a long year.
A/N: So that's the first chapter of Because, I hope you liked it and if you did, please, PLEASE review! Actually, even if you didn't like it, review and tell me how I can do better :) Reviews are chocolate chip sundaes :D
