Author's Note: This is incredibly off-canon in the sense that Kylo Ren is a woman. I was asked to write a ReyLo fic for my friends and I just don't like writing hetero fics. If this, or my limited amount of knowledge regarding the Star Wars universe bothers you, you may wish to read any number of the other wonderful fics out there. Thank you.
The Fabric of Hope
Chapter 1
Elation.
That was what Kylo Ren felt as she stared out into the cold cosmos from the safety of her private quarters aboard the Imperial-Class Star Destroyer, days after her battle with Luke Skywalker. And she felt it for all the wrong reasons. Her mind kept going back to the moment she ordered all of her fighters to take out the Millenium Falcon; knowing Rey was on board. It was her pride that called for the attack that was all for naught in the end. The push failed and Rey survived.
She should have felt rage, frustration, even shame. But she didn't.
Part of her wondered if it was their connection that fortified the feelings between them but, in a more practical frame of mind, she knew that whatever was between them went deeper than the pull of the force. It was the stuff of mindless peasants, roaming about their workaday lives raising livestock or selling goods as they looked for some kind of romanticized meaning for their existence. How in the universe was it possible that she was affected by something so pedestrian and simple?
She was The Supreme Leader. Her path had led her to the most powerful position in the known universe yet, there it was, staring back at her with mocking in the glimmer of its gaze.
It was that touch that had done her in. She'd been fine before that.
It solidified a need within her that she didn't realize existed. Kylo Ren wished to be understood. She wished to be seen for the scared girl she was when at the mercy of the most powerful Jedi in existence. Luke Skywalker was her mentor, her hero and her family and, after he tried to kill her, she'd lost all of those things. Her path to the dark side was illuminated by the green glow of his weapon.
Rey saw that. She'd believed her. Believed in her even.
Then, that small, soft touch of acceptance bridged a gap between them that even her father couldn't build. Ren wanted so badly to sustain that connection. To march into the future with Rey at her side. Together they could work wonders the likes of which no one had ever seen. To Ren, that connection felt like warmth in the cold. So, powerful it could combat even the sharpest chill. Yet, it stood no chance against the sting of rejection and rage that built from it.
Her demeanor had turned on a dime in Snoke's throne room. She watched the pain in Rey's eyes as she recounted the worth her parents placed upon her when selling her to serve their own addictions. She pursued her, attacked her and demanded her demise. She'd taken out those rebel ships without a second thought. And Rey hated her for it. She could feel that just as much as she could the garments that hugged her body; cloaking her in the girl's rage.
"Forgive me, Supreme Leader, but you asked to be notified if another transmission was detected," the timid voice called over the intercom in her room.
"Patch it through to my quarters," she said and turned to face the screen that came to life with the sharp features of the exact person she couldn't dispel from her thoughts.
"...and I'm here to tell you that The Resistance is ready for the fight ahead," Rey said from her seat aboard the Falcon. "We may be small but we are mighty. And we're growing. The First Order would like for you to think that there is no chance to fight back but that's exactly what we've done at every turn. They tried to stoke your fear with their Starkiller but the Resistance took it down. They tried to destroy our forces by hunting us down like dogs yet we have survived to fight another day. Kylo Ren tried to destroy Luke Skywalker in a battle to the death but her hubris only led to the failure of her most important mission."
"Now, that's not very nice," Ren stated calmly, arms crossed as she continued to watch the third recruitment video of the week. Rey's words, enthusiasm, and gaze were starting to show fatigue at the constant barrage of positivity in the face of the insurmountable odds she truly faced. "But I suppose it's nice to see a little fire in your eyes amidst the bland messaging mother is forcing you to schill out."
"The force is with us," she assured the viewer with a sense of sincerity that she had no right to. "May it be with you as well. Stand up for what you believe in. Come together and amass your strength when the time comes to fight. The hope of thwarting our enemy lives on until the last of us falls. Join The Resistance!"
A small, overly adorable creature entered the frame only to be accompanied by the Jedi's most trite sign-off yet.
"We have Porgs," she stated with a smile so artificially sweet it could only have been created in a lab.
A short, low huff of a laugh escaped her lips as the screen went dark.
"You should have stayed with me, little Jedi," Ren said to the emptiness of the room. "Even I have too much of a conscience to torture you so reprehensibly."
"We have Porgs?" Rey whispered to herself with disgust as she stepped away from the camera and out of the recording room. "How could I possibly have allowed her to talk me into this?"
"I'm actually quite baffled myself," the strained tones of a strong woman answered her without request. "I thought for sure you'd drop that last line but it lended a wonderful sense of fun to your send-off."
"General Organa," Rey greeted, somewhat surprised at Leia's sudden visit to the Falcon. "I hadn't heard you'd arrived aboard."
"Well, I didn't want to interrupt your newest broadcast," the General replied with a wink.
"Newest and last," Rey corrected as she started to walk through the halls of the ship, toward her war room. "I fear I can no longer muster up the stomach to canvas for recruits. I sell it worse and worse every time. I'm a fighter, not a mouthpiece. I don't have the countenance for lines like 'Join The Resistance, We have Porgs'."
"Sweetheart, before I was a General I was a Princess," Leia countered. "I've put in my time serving up pleasantries and I could bury you under a mountain of Porgs. We do what we have to do to fight the good fight. And, right now, what you need to do is give people a voice to believe in."
"And I've done that for nearly a week now," Rey replied, staunch in her stance. "Wouldn't the voice of the resistance sound louder if there were more actions to back up my claims? Right now I'm a Jedi without a lightsaber and a soldier with only two major battles under my belt. I need to be out there fighting alongside the people, not in here soliciting them."
"And if we lose you?" Organa asked, placing a hand on the Jedi's shoulder. "What then? You just said yourself that you'd only been in two battles. What happens if you're killed on the third and all hope is lost? Do you think I don't know you've got your sights set on Kylo Ren?"
"I survived her twice and my connection to the force is only growing stronger," she said, resting her hands on the table with the galaxy map and allowing her eyes to roam over it. "With enough practice and a little luck I can best her but I can't do that without a lightsaber."
"I'm assuming that's what all these flags on your map are for?" Organa replied, looking at the map as well.
"According to the last known rumors, yes," Rey answered. "Wouldn't your legendary Jedi be more convincing wielding the signature weapon of the discipline?"
"Rey-"
"This isn't me, General," she argued, standing up straight and folding her arms over her chest. "Poe is more charismatic and Finn is more of a people person. If you want to inspire people into your ranks, use your talent wisely."
A long sigh and a dip of the shoulders told Rey she'd won her argument. Leia shook her head and smiled weakly as she acquiesced to the Jedi's request.
"Most people probably think that losing people gets easier the more you're exposed to it but it doesn't," Organa said. "It makes you hold on tighter to the people you still have in your life. Maybe a little too tight."
Rey's response was an understanding nod. She knew that losing both Han and Luke had taken a toll on the General; one that would have sent most people to their knees. But Leia was a strong woman. Of all the rebels Rey'd encountered, it was Leia who seemed most of all to be made of steel.
"Go get your lightsaber," she commanded with a firm nod. "If I can't stop you from facing Ren then I can at least see that you're as prepared as possible. I'll add a few more pins to your map. I might have heard some rumblings over the last few years."
"Thank you, General," Rey replied with that small, signature smile that kept her lips close together while tugging lightly at her cheeks. She thought for a moment about the relationship between the General and The Supreme Leader. How it must be terribly hard for Leia's greatest enemy to be the daughter she once nurtured into existence. "May I ask you a question? About Kylo Ren, that is."
"I suppose you've earned the right more than anyone," Leia answered, sadness tinting her features.
"She's your daughter," Rey started, trying to be as delicate as possible. "With everything she's done, all the lives she's taken, do you still see her that way? Is there a part of you that would spare her life were it your hands right now?"
Leia swallowed thickly as she contemplated her answer to the question.
"As General Organa, I am bound to neutralize the enemies of the New Republic," she explained before her eyes finally met Rey's. "As a mother, I could never harm my child. That is a burden for someone else to bear."
Rey nodded and dropped her gaze as she thought about her own capabilities regarding the possibilities of that moment. Leia must have sensed her dilemma because she reached out to take her hand.
"Whatever happens, Rey, I have faith you'll do what is right," she said before giving the hand one final squeeze and pulling away to take her leave. "And don't underestimate those Porgs! They're going to be huge for recruitment."
"Stupid Porgs."
The voice came attached to a vision of Rey smiling softly and shaking her head. Though Ren's lips twitched in an effort to mimic the expression, she kept her features neutral during her response.
"Yes, I echo the sentiment," she said, lacing her fingers together before her as Rey turned swiftly to lock eyes. "Tell me, is The Resistance working tirelessly on little stuffed toys to hand out amongst the rabble in support of your requests or is everyone too busy trying to find this year's most popular Ewok to really sell the message?"
"Get out of my head," Rey nearly spat as she turned her back; as was their new routine during almost daily connections.
"You know it doesn't work that way," Ren countered, voice low and velvety.
"I wish it did," Rey spoke through gritted teeth and turned off the map in front of her. "I'd rather be connected to the inside of Chewbacca's toilet than receive these surprise visits from you."
"I know," Ren said smugly. "I'd wager I could feel your hatred all the way on the other side of the universe. Not a very becoming emotion for a Jedi, you know. That's more prevalent on my side of the force."
"Well, I don't exactly have someone to teach me the ways of the Jedi now, so I suppose I'll just have to make up the rules as I go along," she replied, turning. "The disdain for you, I think I'll keep."
"It's a weakness, you know," Ren said, taking one step closer. "Sure, anger makes for great fuel in the heat of battle but it can also take over and burn down all of your plans. Take our last encounter, for example. I was so angry with you that I sent all of my fighters after your Falcon. Had I maintained my calm, and stayed the course, you'd be mourning far more of your comrades and making fewer jokes about Porgs."
"And why exactly were you so very angry with me, Ben?" Rey used the given name on purpose as she too took a step forward. "If you were even remotely the cold, calculated killer Snoke was you would have never offered up the partnership between the two of us that led to the rejection that sent you into a tailspin. You ache so much for companionship and understanding that, like my rage, I could feel your loneliness from across the universe."
Ren's jaw clenched at the accusation. It wasn't as if she could deny it. Her actions had all but proved the Jedi's point. She turned that shame to rage as much as she could and tried to recover control of the conversation.
"Remember this moment, Jedi," she said in a calm and measured tone, belying Rey's name just as Rey belied hers. "Remember how sure you are of that statement. You're going to pray for that assurance when you are finally within my grasp."
"I'm sure we'll see how true that boast is after you beg me once more to be your friend," Rey countered, her chin jutting out ever so slightly in heated defiance. "I would imagine rejection stings even more the second time around."
The connection started to fade before Ren could respond and she was somewhat thankful for that small favor. Instead of focusing so much on what she might have said, she tuned into the frustration in Rey's voice. The Jedi was getting tired of playing puppet for The Resistance. She'd soon be on the move and, once her trail started, it would only be a matter of time before Ren picked up the scent.