The Millionth FF7 Bloopers!
Disclaimer: I don't own FF7 (if I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction.net) and I know this has been done a million times!
Scene where AVALANCHE enters Mako Reactor #1 take 1
Barret: Say I didn't catch your name.
Cloud: Cindy!
All: CINDY?!
Director: Cut! Cin-err Cloud, don't use the name customize!
Cloud: Sorry.
Scene where AVALANCHE enters Mako Reactor #1 take 2
Barret: Say I didn't catch your name.
Cloud: Cloud, and you?
Barret: Carl.
Director: Clutches head AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!
Scene where AVALANCHE enters Mako Reactor #1 take 3
Barret: Say I didn't catch your name.
Cloud: Cloud, and you?
Barret: Barret.
Jessie: -_-;Hey guys, I can't get the door to open.
All: MAJOR sweatdrop. . .
Director: Oh Fuck it all, go to the next scene!
Scene on balcony with Rufus take 1
Rufus: Who are you people?
Cloud: Ex-Soldier, first class.
Barret: I'm with AVALANCHE!
Tifa: Me too.
Aeris: A flower girl from the slums.
Red XIII: A research specimen.
Rufus: What a cr-
Cait Sith: Some stuffed robot.
Yuffie: The Lady of Wutai.
Cid: A fuckin' Astronaught that never made it to space.
Vincent: A zombie.
Rufus: What the hell are the rest of you doing here?
CS Y C & V: I dunno!
All: ACK!
Scene on balcony with Rufus take 2
Director: Where's Rufus?
Cloud: Oh his dog-thing-
Red XIII: I'm not a dog.
Cloud: Not you, the black thing-
Barret: Hey!
Cloud: . . . His attack dog got sick so he had to take it to the vet.
Director: Well where the hell are we gonna find a replacement of equal weirdness?
All: stare at Vincent
Scene on balcony with Rufus take 3
Vincent in Rufus suit: is huddled in corner Lucrecia, forgive me my sin of dressing like a gay, blonde, stupid Shin-ra president.
Tifa: pats Vincent on the back There, there. If you cheer up and say your lines right I'll let you touch my fake breasts.
Vincent: Sure!
Aeris: whispers to Cloud What was she like before the insertions?
Cloud: whispers back flat as cardboard.
Scene goes as normal except Vincent slips in the word "Evil" every sentence.
Scene on balcony with Rufus take 4
Rufus: Who are you people?
Cloud: Ex-Soldier first class.
Barret: I'm from AVALANCHE.
Tifa: Me too.
Aeris: A flower girl from the slums.
Red XIII: A research specimen.
Rufus: What a crew, but since your all here I'll make my inauguration speech. makes really long speech I don't remember a word of
Cloud: Barret, get Aeris outta here, this is a real crisis for the planet.
Barret: What the hell's that supposed to mean?
Cloud: Never mind, just get out of here!
All: leave
Cloud: Is everyone gone?
Rufus: Yeah, I think
Rufus & Cloud begin making out.
Director: Ahem! Me and the crew are still here.
Rufus: Oops.
Cloud: Shit, now every-fuckin'-one's gonna know we're goddamn homos!
Cid: heh-heh, you talk like me!
Scene at Gold Saucer where Cloud meets Dio take 1
Cloud: Excuse me sir, did you see a man in a black cape come by here?
Dio: Yes, he's buried under that pack of rabid fan girls! point's over shoulder to what looks like wild animals tearing off locks of Sephiroth's hair and clothing.
Sephiroth: HELP ME!!!!! chops up fan girls w/ masamune but they keep coming back to life
All wince Ouch.
Director: Very good, cut and print!
Aeris' death scene (the very same one done by every blooper author) take 1
Aeris: praying
Sephiroth drops from the sky, falls a little short and lands in the water.
All laugh hysterically.
Director: Ha-Ha-Ha! Oh my laugh god! laugh That was funny shit! bursts out laughing again
An angry and wet Sephiroth crawls out of the water and chops Aeris in half.
Everyone rushes to Aeris.
Director: Holy Bahumet! You really killed her! Someone get a sewing machine, we got a lot of fixin' to do!
Aeris' death scene (the very same one done by every blooper author) take 2
Aeris: praying
Sephiroth drops from the sky and impales her.
Cloud: I summon Pheonix!
Pheonix revives Aeris and knocks out Sephiroth.
Cloud: Hah!
Director: Cloud, Your supposed to leave her dead!
Cloud: But she was the only healer in my party!
Director: Take 3 when Sephiroth recovers, leers at Cloud if ever.
Aeris' death scene (the very same one done by every blooper author) take 3
Aeris: praying
Sephiroth is dropping but gets tackled by fan girls out of mid-air. Sephiroth is mortally bleeding and lacerated in several places: Not again!!!
Aeris' death scene (the very same one done by every blooper author) take 4
Aeris: praying
Sephiroth drops from the sky and impales Aeris. Everything goes perfect up to the emotional part.
Rufus: charges in from off stage and beats Cloud half to death Your cheating on me with that Aeris Bitch!
Cloud: talking while being punched Ow!-It's-Ow!-just-Ow!-my-Ow-Lines!
Rufus: stops punching Oh, Okay :)
Director: Ahhh, close enough!
Scene W/ Tifa in the gas chamber take 1
Barret: Uh, someone help, I can't find the door!
Cait Sith & Tifa: Hurry you Macho dumb-shit!
*15 minutes later Barret finds door*
Barret: looks in Uh, Mr. Director bub I think we lost another one. . .
Director: Oh for the love of Shiva! slaps forehead
Scene W/ Tifa in the gas chamber take 2
Barret: Hey, what are my lines again?
Director: Oh man! Everyone let's just skip this!
Scene where Reno knocks Don Corneo of the Cliff take 1
Reno: Do you know why we're doing this? 1.I'm Clueless 2.I'm sure I'll win 3.Iv lost the will to live
Don Corneo: Uh #2.?
Reno: Nope. knocks Don Corneo to an obviously bloody death I'm doin' this to get head from Elenore.
Elenore: Pervert! kicks Reno off the cliff too
Barret: Well that's the third one lost.
Cid: Hey, Elenore how about some "Highwind-action"?
Elenore: Pleasure me space-boy!
Director: covers eyes Could you two do that off-screen?
Both: No!
Director: That's it! I quit!
THE END
A/N: Sorry people, but I'm out of ideas I hope you liked. Bye-bye!
Disclaimer: I don't own FF7 (if I did I wouldn't be on fanfiction.net) and I know this has been done a million times!
Scene where AVALANCHE enters Mako Reactor #1 take 1
Barret: Say I didn't catch your name.
Cloud: Cindy!
All: CINDY?!
Director: Cut! Cin-err Cloud, don't use the name customize!
Cloud: Sorry.
Scene where AVALANCHE enters Mako Reactor #1 take 2
Barret: Say I didn't catch your name.
Cloud: Cloud, and you?
Barret: Carl.
Director: Clutches head AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!
Scene where AVALANCHE enters Mako Reactor #1 take 3
Barret: Say I didn't catch your name.
Cloud: Cloud, and you?
Barret: Barret.
Jessie: -_-;Hey guys, I can't get the door to open.
All: MAJOR sweatdrop. . .
Director: Oh Fuck it all, go to the next scene!
Scene on balcony with Rufus take 1
Rufus: Who are you people?
Cloud: Ex-Soldier, first class.
Barret: I'm with AVALANCHE!
Tifa: Me too.
Aeris: A flower girl from the slums.
Red XIII: A research specimen.
Rufus: What a cr-
Cait Sith: Some stuffed robot.
Yuffie: The Lady of Wutai.
Cid: A fuckin' Astronaught that never made it to space.
Vincent: A zombie.
Rufus: What the hell are the rest of you doing here?
CS Y C & V: I dunno!
All: ACK!
Scene on balcony with Rufus take 2
Director: Where's Rufus?
Cloud: Oh his dog-thing-
Red XIII: I'm not a dog.
Cloud: Not you, the black thing-
Barret: Hey!
Cloud: . . . His attack dog got sick so he had to take it to the vet.
Director: Well where the hell are we gonna find a replacement of equal weirdness?
All: stare at Vincent
Scene on balcony with Rufus take 3
Vincent in Rufus suit: is huddled in corner Lucrecia, forgive me my sin of dressing like a gay, blonde, stupid Shin-ra president.
Tifa: pats Vincent on the back There, there. If you cheer up and say your lines right I'll let you touch my fake breasts.
Vincent: Sure!
Aeris: whispers to Cloud What was she like before the insertions?
Cloud: whispers back flat as cardboard.
Scene goes as normal except Vincent slips in the word "Evil" every sentence.
Scene on balcony with Rufus take 4
Rufus: Who are you people?
Cloud: Ex-Soldier first class.
Barret: I'm from AVALANCHE.
Tifa: Me too.
Aeris: A flower girl from the slums.
Red XIII: A research specimen.
Rufus: What a crew, but since your all here I'll make my inauguration speech. makes really long speech I don't remember a word of
Cloud: Barret, get Aeris outta here, this is a real crisis for the planet.
Barret: What the hell's that supposed to mean?
Cloud: Never mind, just get out of here!
All: leave
Cloud: Is everyone gone?
Rufus: Yeah, I think
Rufus & Cloud begin making out.
Director: Ahem! Me and the crew are still here.
Rufus: Oops.
Cloud: Shit, now every-fuckin'-one's gonna know we're goddamn homos!
Cid: heh-heh, you talk like me!
Scene at Gold Saucer where Cloud meets Dio take 1
Cloud: Excuse me sir, did you see a man in a black cape come by here?
Dio: Yes, he's buried under that pack of rabid fan girls! point's over shoulder to what looks like wild animals tearing off locks of Sephiroth's hair and clothing.
Sephiroth: HELP ME!!!!! chops up fan girls w/ masamune but they keep coming back to life
All wince Ouch.
Director: Very good, cut and print!
Aeris' death scene (the very same one done by every blooper author) take 1
Aeris: praying
Sephiroth drops from the sky, falls a little short and lands in the water.
All laugh hysterically.
Director: Ha-Ha-Ha! Oh my laugh god! laugh That was funny shit! bursts out laughing again
An angry and wet Sephiroth crawls out of the water and chops Aeris in half.
Everyone rushes to Aeris.
Director: Holy Bahumet! You really killed her! Someone get a sewing machine, we got a lot of fixin' to do!
Aeris' death scene (the very same one done by every blooper author) take 2
Aeris: praying
Sephiroth drops from the sky and impales her.
Cloud: I summon Pheonix!
Pheonix revives Aeris and knocks out Sephiroth.
Cloud: Hah!
Director: Cloud, Your supposed to leave her dead!
Cloud: But she was the only healer in my party!
Director: Take 3 when Sephiroth recovers, leers at Cloud if ever.
Aeris' death scene (the very same one done by every blooper author) take 3
Aeris: praying
Sephiroth is dropping but gets tackled by fan girls out of mid-air. Sephiroth is mortally bleeding and lacerated in several places: Not again!!!
Aeris' death scene (the very same one done by every blooper author) take 4
Aeris: praying
Sephiroth drops from the sky and impales Aeris. Everything goes perfect up to the emotional part.
Rufus: charges in from off stage and beats Cloud half to death Your cheating on me with that Aeris Bitch!
Cloud: talking while being punched Ow!-It's-Ow!-just-Ow!-my-Ow-Lines!
Rufus: stops punching Oh, Okay :)
Director: Ahhh, close enough!
Scene W/ Tifa in the gas chamber take 1
Barret: Uh, someone help, I can't find the door!
Cait Sith & Tifa: Hurry you Macho dumb-shit!
*15 minutes later Barret finds door*
Barret: looks in Uh, Mr. Director bub I think we lost another one. . .
Director: Oh for the love of Shiva! slaps forehead
Scene W/ Tifa in the gas chamber take 2
Barret: Hey, what are my lines again?
Director: Oh man! Everyone let's just skip this!
Scene where Reno knocks Don Corneo of the Cliff take 1
Reno: Do you know why we're doing this? 1.I'm Clueless 2.I'm sure I'll win 3.Iv lost the will to live
Don Corneo: Uh #2.?
Reno: Nope. knocks Don Corneo to an obviously bloody death I'm doin' this to get head from Elenore.
Elenore: Pervert! kicks Reno off the cliff too
Barret: Well that's the third one lost.
Cid: Hey, Elenore how about some "Highwind-action"?
Elenore: Pleasure me space-boy!
Director: covers eyes Could you two do that off-screen?
Both: No!
Director: That's it! I quit!
THE END
A/N: Sorry people, but I'm out of ideas I hope you liked. Bye-bye!