THE NIGHT OF THE MEXICAN IMPOSTURE

By Andamogirl

Author's notes: Season 1.

Episode-tag. This story takes place directly after the end of "The Night of the Freebooters." In that episode Artemus Gordon disguises himself as a woman (a cantina woman). He'll do it in another episode, in season 2, The Night of the Green Terror, impersonating a squaw. He'll do it again, in the first TV movie "The Wild Wild West revisited", playing the role of a middle-aged-feather-boa-ed saloon woman. It was so funny! Especially when he comes back to the Wanderer and talks to Jim.

Reference to my stories TNOT First Mission & TNOT Comanche Moon.

Reference to the WWW episodes "The Night of the Human Trigger" & The Night of the Freebooters.

Jim: From now on it's a man's work.

Rita: Sometimes a woman can do a man's work better than a man.

Jim: Of course, much of the credit goes to the grand old lady of the Secret Service-Artemis Gordon.

Artie: You're never gonna let me live that down, are you?

Jim: No, I have no intention of it.

TNOT Freebooters

Many thanks to my beta reader Old Toad.

WWW

TEASER

The Wanderer

Phoenix, Arizona, railroad yard

Summer 1874

Holding a piece of paper on which he had written a message a few minutes before, Artemus Gordon took a place on a golden upholstered sofa and said, "We received a telegram from Colonel Richmond, Jim, while you were taking care of the horses."

Holding a cup of coffee, James West sat on a chair. "Let me guess, a new assignment?"

The older man nodded. "Exactly. Our assignment is to escort His Excellency the Governor of Baja California, señor Carlos Mendoza de León, the special envoy of President of Mexico Sebastián Lerdo de Tejada y Corral, safely to San Francisco, where he'll meet President Grant."

Jim took a sip of coffee and asked, "What for?"

Artemus continued, "The President of Mexico wants the formation of Mexican-American patrols and the creation of joint border posts to prevent groups of US outlaws and Mexican pistoleros from making deadly raids along the borders of Baja California. Señor Mendoza de León has been attacked twice since he left La Paz Baja California Sur en-route to the US border. He wanted to travel by road at first, but for more security he chose to embark on board a ship and sail North in the Gulf of California. He should reach Port Isabel in 5 days. He's the third person the Mexican President has sent. The two others were killed on their way here."

Jim nodded. "I bet that some people on each side of the border want to kill him – to force El Presidente to give up his plan."

Folding the message, Artie nodded. "But he won't. He won't let himself be intimidated. At least Thorald Wolfe and his gunslingers are out of the picture now. We have to meet señor Mendoza de León and his Mexican escort in one week, in a place called San Luis Rio Colorado, Sonora, in Mexican territory. It's a small town adjacent to San Luis, a small village in the Arizona Territory, on the border with the US. We have to meet him and his escort at the El Gato Negro hotel."

Smiling James took a new sip of coffee. "The Black Cat hotel? It begins well…"

Artie chuckled. "Yes, the Black Cat hotel. I'm not a superstitious man, but let's face it, this new assignment is not going to be a walk in the park." He paused and continued, "San Luis Rio Colorado is an inland port for steamers traveling the Colorado from the Gulf of California. From there we'll take a steamboat to Port Isabel in the mouth of the Colorado River on the Gulf of California. Then, once there we'll take a US Navy sloop-of-war, the USS Portsmouth to sail up to San Francisco."

Jim was surprised and raised his eyebrows. "Why take a ship to travel to San Francisco?" He asked. "If San Luis Rio Colorado is close to the border, we could reach San Diego in two days, and then take the train to San Francisco. It would be faster."

Artie shrugged and answered, "I don't know Jim, perhaps señor Mendoza de León wants to travel on one of our best sloop-of-war to be sure to be safe, and I understand why. Like I said, he has been attacked twice since he left La Paz Baja California Sur."

James nodded. "Hmm, or he loves traveling by ship – or both." He saw his partner stand and look at his Mexican officer uniform sitting on the table. "Are you planning to play Colonel Hernandez Del Valle Santiago y Sandoval, again Artie?"

Shaking his head, Artemus smiled. "Ah! He was a handsome man… I loved playing that role, but no." He took the cap and said, "No, señor Mendoza de León was told that James West and Artemus Gordon will escort him to Washington – not James West and a fake Mexican Colonel."

Standing too, Jim pointed at the wig and woman's clothes also on the table. "Then perhaps you could disguise yourself as a lovely Mexican cantina lady?" Nobody would think that you are a secret agent. Wolfe's men were completely fooled."

Artie chuckled. "No, but it was fun. The most difficult thing wasn't to raise my voice a few octaves, but to make my appearance credible."

Placing his empty cup on the sideboard, Jim said, "Oh but you were very credible, Artie. Those men in that fort believed that you were a real woman. Like I said, they were completely fooled – except me. Even Captain León believed that you were a cantina woman. I always recognize you, Artemus, in any of your disguises, as perfect as they are. Probably because I know you by heart, living with you 365 days a year – or almost. We are rarely separated."

Heading towards the galley, Artie opened the door of his second favorite place (after his lab), Jim following him closely. "One day I'd like to surprise you… One day you won't recognize me."

Jim smiled. "That's impossible."

Smiling, taking a cup off the shelf, Artemus moved towards the stove. "Do you want to make a bet Jim? If I lose, I'll buy you diner in the best French restaurant in Washington, "Au Coq Gaulois". Taking the coffee pot left there, he poured himself a full cup and then added, "And if I win, you will offer me a bottle of Courvoisier, the Cognac of Napoléon. My favorite liquor."

James nodded. "Okay." He reached out and Artie shook his hand. "Prepare your money my good friend. I have won already."

Tbc.