"You want me to what?!" Maura asked in disbelief. She was sitting across from Casey in his office, and leaned in closer, over the desk, in case she had misunderstood him.
Casey sighed and looked defeated, having expected Maura's reaction.
"Look, you know I'm dead below the waist. I can't... I can't satisfy Jane. She has needs."
"I'm hardly the person to satisfy her needs, Casey. I'm her friend!"
"She trusts you. And I do too."
"I'm flattered, but surely you can find other ways... to... take care of her."
"I can't. I tried. I don't have the mobility. I have no traction without my legs." Casey started getting flustered. "And... I just don't feel like it." He looked down at his legs in frustration.
"I wouldn't touch you. I just want to be there, watch you. I want to see her like... before. Look, we wouldn't be back together if it wasn't for you, and I'm grateful for that. I know I'm asking for a huge favor." Casey looked Maura in the eye. "Please just think about it, okay?"
Maura fell silent, but held his gaze. Casey looked desperate. Her mind was processing the request.
"Does she know? Did you ask her?"
"No. Not yet. I thought I'd ask you first."
Maura nodded to herself, and sighed. "Casey, I'd love to be able to help you, but this... I don't know. I really don't. I promise I'll think about it."
"Thank you. That's all I can ask."
Maura let herself out and drove back to the precinct. She went straight down to the morgue and sat at her desk, leaning back in her chair. Casey had called the M.E. that morning and said he had something to ask her. She had assumed he needed advice about the clinical trial he was about to start, and had paid him a visit on her lunch hour.
Now her mind was churning. She had admitted to herself a long time ago that she had a crush on Jane. She had kept it neatly bottled up, happy to steal a glance here and there, imagining them kissing, sometimes in sexual situations. But she had never, ever, considered it even a remote possibility. Jane was straight, and had never expressed any interest in women. She was in love with Casey, and Maura wanted Jane to be happy. She'd do anything to support her. Anything? The doctor let herself imagine the situation, laying on top of Jane, naked, bringing her to orgasm in front of Casey.
The prospect, now so close and tangible, made her realize she was scared of something else: what if she let her guard down? Would she able to stop and step aside for Casey, after opening the door to her feelings?
Right then the door to her office swung open and Jane stepped in.
"Hey! Where were you?"
Maura's mouth opened and closed right back. Startled out of her private thoughts, she struggled for words. Jane immediately picked up on it.
"Wow! You can't talk? Are you okay?" She smirked. Her face suddenly fell. "Wait. Did you talk to Casey? He asked for your number this morning. Was it about his medical trial?"
"No... YES!.. No!" Maura's eyes widened in panic.
"What? Yes or no?" Jane looked confused.
The blonde took a deep breath, considering her options.
"I can't talk about it..." Maura's eyes pleaded with Jane.
Jane faked being offended, and slowly turned around to leave, waving her arms around.
"Oh. None of my business. I see."
"Oh, no, it's all up in your business."
Jane stopped in her tracks and turned back around to shoot an evil eye at her friend. Maura looked up at her and pinched her lips, wishing for once she hadn't spoken what was on her mind.
"What does that mean? Really?"
"No! I mean... Yes, it's about you, but I said no. Well, I said I'd think about it."
"What about me? Why did you say no? What is there to think about?" Jane stepped back and closed the door so they could talk without all the lab assistants hearing.
Maura slowly shook her head in her hands. How did the conversation end up there so quickly?
"Maura!"
"Stop! That's too many questions! What do you want to know?"
"What did you and Casey talk about?"
Maura cringed and then whimpered. There was no way out.
"Sit down, Jane."
Jane suddenly looked worried. She made her way to the uncomfortable red chair, and sagged into it.
"Is it Casey? Is he going to be okay? Don't you make me cry at work." Jane warned.
"Oh, no, no. He's fine. Well, I guess he could be better, I mean his legs. But he..."
"Maura!"
"Oh, yes. Sorry. He asked me to be his proxy and have sex with you."
Jane's face went blank.
"I'm sorry, he asked you what?"
"That's what I said! I thought I misunderstood!" Maura paused, then articulated for Jane, while punctuating with her finger : "Casey wants me to have sex with you. To satisfy your needs. In front of him."
Jane waited a couple of seconds, then got up. She stepped out and slammed the door behind her. After a beat, she stepped back in and engaged the lock.
"What the hell?... How dare he?" She started pacing around the room.
"He loves you. He wants you to be happy."
"I don't have "needs"!.. To satisfy... I'm fine!"
"He said he tried but it didn't work out."
"Oh, and what else did he tell you? Did he tell you I had to take care of myself afterwards?"
"No."
"Oh."
"Did you?"
"What?"
"Take care of yourself?"
"Maybe." Jane waved her hands in front of her. "It's not important! I'm fine without the running. Or the rollerblading. I'm fine without the sex."
"Sex is an important part of a relationship. It's more than just physical release. It provides intimacy and an emotional connection."
Maura stood up, walked around her desk and sat against it, her arms propped by her sides.
Jane stopped pacing, but kept twirling her hair between her fingers.
"He doesn't let me cuddle anymore. I think he's... self-conscious."
"Do you kiss?"
"No."
"Do you want to?"
"Yes."
Maura tilted her head and gave Jane a sympathetic look.
"So... you said no?" Jane suddenly asked.
Maura winced. "I... I thought it'd be weird. Afterwards. But he asked me to think about it."
"Mmh." Jane twirled her hair in the opposite direction.
Maura tried to read Jane's reaction. It wasn't outright disappointment, but a careful pondering. She asked out loud what Jane was probably asking herself:
"Would you do it?"
Jane looked up at Maura and shrugged. Her eyes went from Maura's face to her breasts, down the curve of her hips and her thighs. The silence stretched between them. Maura smiled, very aware of Jane's mental inventory of her body.
"I could do worse, I guess."
Maura scoffed. "Jane! You're terrible! I don't know if I want to anymore."
"Are you any good?" Jane smirked.
Maura let out a dramatic gasp and her jaw dropped. "Jane! I'm a trained physician. I'm an expert in human anatomy, including, but not limited to, both male and female erogenous zones. I'm deeply offended that you would question my love-making skills!"
"Do you mind providing a list of references?" Jane continued, unfazed.
"Jane..." Maura's face was serious again. "You know I'd do anything for you. But I don't want to jeopardize our friendship. If it's too weird, let's not do it."
Maura was leaving the decision to Jane, allowing her an easy way out. As much as she had dreamed about it, she couldn't let sex get in-between them.
"I would do it. If it's you." Jane's words were sad, her eyes shining with unshed tears. She had gotten back with Casey just a couple of weeks ago, but he hadn't been able to provide the emotional support she needed. She knew Casey had had to close himself up, to cope with the aftermath of his injury, and he couldn't open up easily without risking his own sanity. Talking to her friend, she realized she needed not so much the sex, but the intimacy Maura had been talking about. If Casey thought it'd help, it was the least she could do, and she would probably benefit from it too. She just wanted to be held and be kissed, even though she would never admit it to anyone.
Maura walked up and stood in front of her. She smoothed Jane's forearm with her hand, and smiled up at her.
"You don't have to look so sad about it."
"I'm not sad... I'm... exhausted. Thank you." Jane smiled and squeezed Maura's arm in return.
"I'll call Casey. Tell him we'll do it. Saturday?" Maura asked softly.
Jane nodded and went back up to the bullpen, her head spinning and her heart thumping wildly in her chest.